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TOTO HISHIS MANYMANY
WAIESWAYSways ENDEEREDENDEARED
friendfriend MaisterMaster RobertRobert KeysarKeysar.

SIRSIR, thisthis vnfortunateunfortunate childchild, whowho
inin eighteight daiesdays (asas latelylately II hauehave
learnedlearned) waswas begotbegot andand borneborn
soonesoon afterafter, waswas byby hishis parentsparents
(perhapsperhaps becausebecause heehe waswas soso vn-vnlikevn∣likeunlike
like
hishis brethrenbrethrenbrothers) exposedexposed toto thethe
widewide worldworld, whowho forfor wantwant ofof
iudgementjudgement, oror notnot vnderstandingunderstanding
thethe priuyprivy markemark ofof IronieIrony aboutabout
itit (whichwhich shewedshowed itit waswas nono of-springoffspring ofof anyany vulgarvulgar
brainebrain) vtterlyutterly reiectedrejected itit: soso thatthat forfor wantwant ofof accep-acceptanceaccep∣tanceacceptance
tance
itit waswas eueneven readyready toto giuegive vpup thethe GhostGhost, andand waswas inin
dangerdanger toto hauehave benebeen smotheredsmothered inin perpetuallperpetual obliuionoblivion, ifif
youyou (outout ofof youryour directdirect antipathyantipathy toto ingratitudeingratitude) hadhad notnot
benebeen mouedmoved bothboth toto relieuerelieve andand cherishcherish itit: whereinwherein II mustmust
needsneeds commendcommend bothboth youryour iudgementjudgement, vnderstan-vnderstandingvnderstan∣dingunderstanding
ding,
andand singularsingular louelove toto goodgood witswits; youyou afterwardsafterwards sentsent
itit toto meeme, yetyet beingbeing anan infantinfant andand somewhatsomewhat raggedragged, II
hauehave fostredfostered itit priuatelyprivately inin mymy bosomebosom thesethese twotwo yearesyears,

A2

and

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The Epistle Dedicatory.

andand nownow toto shewshow, mymy louelove returnereturn itit toto youyou, cladclad inin goodgood
lastinglasting cloathsclothes, whichwhich scarcescarce memorymemory willwill wearewear outout, andand
ableable toto speakespeak forfor it selfeitself; andand withallwithal, asas itit tellethtelleth meeme,
desirousdesirous toto trytry hishis fortunefortune inin thethe worldworld, wherewhere ifif yetyet itit bebe
welcomewelcome, bothboth fatherfather andand foster-fatherfoster-father, nursenurse andand childchild,
hauehave theirtheir desireddesired endend. IfIf itit beebe slightedslighted oror traducedtraduced, itit
hopeshopes hishis fatherfather willwill begetbeget himhim aa yongeryounger brotherbrother, whowho
shallshall reuengerevenge hishis quarrellquarrel, andand challengechallenge thethe worldworld ei-eitherei∣thereither
ther
ofof fondfond andand meerelymerely literallliteral interpretationinterpretation, oror illite-illiterateillite∣rateilliterate
rate
misprisionmisprision. PerhapsPerhaps itit willwill bebe thoughtthought toto beebe ofof thethe
racerace ofof DonDon QuixoteQuixote: wewe bothboth maymay confidentlyconfidently sweareswear,
itit isis hishis elderelder aboueabove aa yeareyear; andand thereforetherefore maymay (byby ver-vertuever∣tuevirtue
tue
ofof hishis birth-rightbirthright) challengechallenge thethe wallwall ofof himhim. II doubtdoubt
notnot butbut theythey willwill meetmeet inin theirtheir aduenturesadventures, andand II hopehope thethe
breakingbreaking ofof oneone staffestaff willwill makemake themthem friendsfriends; andand per-perhapsper∣hapsperhaps
haps
theythey willwill conbinecombine themseluesthemselves, andand trauelltravel throughthrough
thethe worldworld toto seekeseek theirtheir aduenturesadventures. SoSo II commitcommit himhim toto
hishis goodgood fortunefortune, andand my selfemyself toto youryour louelove.


YourYour assuredassured friendfriend


W.W. B.B.

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TheThe famousfamous HistorieHistory
OfOf thethe KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning
PESTLEPESTLE.

EnterEnter PROLOGVEPROLOGUEprologue.

FRomFRomFrom allall that’sthat’s neerenear thethe CourtCourt, fromfrom allall
 that’sthat’s greatgreat
WithinWithin thethe compassecompass ofof thethe Citty-walsCity wallsCity-walls,
WeWe nownow hauehave broughtbrought ourour SceaneScene.
EnterEnter CitizenCitizen.
Cit.CitizenCit.HoldHold youryour peacepeace good-mangoodman boyboy.
Pro.ProloguePro.WhatWhat dodo youyou meanemean sirsir?
Cit.CitizenCit.ThatThat youyou hauehave nono goodgood meaningmeaning: ThisThis seuenseven yearesyears
therethere hathhath beenebeen playesplays atat thisthis househouse, II hauehave obseruedobserved itit,
youyou hauehave stillstill girdsgirds atat CitizensCitizens; andand nownow youyou callcall youryour playplay,
TheThe LondonLondon MarchantMerchant. DowneDown withwith youryour TitleTitle boyboy, downedown
withwith youryour TitleTitle.
Pro.ProloguePro.AreAre youyou aa membermember ofof thethe noblenoble CittyCity?
Cit.CitizenCit.II amam.
Pro.ProloguePro.AndAnd aa Free-manFreeman?
Cit.CitizenCit.YeaYea, andand aa GrocerGrocer.
Pro.ProloguePro.SoSo GrocerGrocer, thenthen byby youryour sweetsweet fauourfavour, wewe intendintend
nono abuseabuse toto thethe CittyCity.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo sirsir, yesyes sirsir, ifif youyou werewere notnot resolu’dresolved toto playplay thethe
IacksJacksjacks, whatwhat needneed youyou studystudy forfor newnew subiectssubjects, purposelypurposely toto a-abusea∣buseabuse
abuse
youryour bettersbetters? whywhy couldcould notnot youyou bebe contentedcontented, asas wellwell
asas othersothers, withwith thethe legendlegend ofof WhittingtonWhittington, oror thethe lifelife &and deathdeath
ofof sirsir ThomasThomas GreshamGresham? withwith thethe buildingbuilding ofof thethe RoyallRoyal Ex-ExchangeEx∣change

B

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

changeExchange? oror thethe storystory ofof QueeneQueen ElenorEleanorElinor, withwith thethe rearingrearing ofof
LondonLondon bridgebridge vponupon wool-sackeswoolsacks?
Prol.PrologueProl.YouYou seemeseem toto beebe anan vnderstandingunderstanding manman: whatwhat
wouldwould youyou hauehave vsus dodo sirsir?
Cit.CitizenCit.WhyWhy presentpresent somethingsomething notablynotably inin honourhonour ofof thethe
CommonsCommons ofof thethe CittyCity.
Pro.ProloguePro.WhyWhy whatwhat doedo youyou saysay toto thethe lifelife andand deathdeath ofof fatfat
DrakeDrake, oror thethe repairingrepairing ofof Fleet-priuiesFleet priviesFleet-privies?
Cit.CitizenCit.II dodo notnot likelike thatthat, butbut II willwill hauehave aa CitizenCitizen, andand heehe
shallshall bebe ofof mymy owneown tradetrade.
Pro.ProloguePro.OhOhO youyou shouldshould hauehave toldtold vsus youryour mindemind aa monethmonth
sincesince, ourour playplay isis readyready toto beginbegin nownow.
Cit.CitizenCit.’Tis’Tis allall oneone forfor thatthat, II willwill hauehave aa GrocerGrocer, andand hehe shallshall
dodo admirableadmirable thingsthings.
Pro.ProloguePro.WhatWhat willwill youyou hauehave himhim dodo?
Cit.CitizenCit.MarryMarry II willwill hauehave himhim —
WifeWife.HusbandHusband, husbandhusband.WifeWife belowbelow.
RafeRafe.PeacePeace mistressemistress.RafeRafe belowbelow.
WifeWife.HoldHold thythy peacepeace RafeRafe, II knowknow whatwhat II dodo II warrantwarrant tee’eetee.
HusbandHusband, husbandhusband.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhatWhat saystsayst thouthou cunnycunnyconey?
WifeWife.LetLet himhim killkill aa LyonLion withwith aa pestlepestle husbandhusband, letlet himhim
killkill aa LyonLion withwith aa pestlepestle.
Cit.CitizenCit.SoSo hehe shallshall, ll’eI’ll hauehave himhim killkill aa LyonLion withwith aa pestlepestle.
WifeWife.HusbandHusband, shallshall II comecome vpup husbandhusband?
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyI cunnycunnyconey. RafeRafe helpehelp youryour mistressemistress thisthis wayway: praypray gen-gentlemengen∣tlemengentlemen
tlemen
makemake herher aa littlelittle roomeroom, II praypray youyou sirsir lendlend meme youryour
handhand toto helpehelp vpup mymy wifewife: II thankethank youyou sirsir. SoSo.
WifeWife.ByBy youryour leaueleave GentlemenGentlemen allall, Im’eI’m somthingsomething trou-troublesometrou∣blesometroublesome
blesome,
Im’eI’m aa strãngerstrāgerstranger herehere, II waswas nerene’er atat oneone ofof thesethese playesplays
asas theythey saysay, beforebefore; butbut II shouldshould hauehave seeneseen IaneJanejane ShoreShore onceonce,
andaudand mymy husbandhusband hathhath promisedpromised meme anyany timetime thisthis Twelue-Twelue-monethTwelvemonth
moneth
toto carrycarry meme toto thethe BoldBold BeauchamsBeauchampsBeauchams, butbut inin truthtruth hehe
diddid notnot, II praypray youyou bearebear withwith meme.
Cit.CitizenCit.BoyBoy, letlet mymy wifewife andand II hauehave aa cupplecouple stoolesstools, andand
thenthen beginbegin, andand letlet thethe GrocerGrocer dodo rarerare thingsthings.
Prol.PrologueProl.ButBut sirsir, wewe hauehave neuernever aa boyboy toto playplay himhim, eueryevery

one

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oneone hathhath aa partpart alreadyalready.
WifeWife.HusbandHusband, husbandhusband, forfor GodsGod’s sakesake letlet RafeRafe playplay
himhim, beshrewbeshrew meeme ifif II dodo notnot thinkethink heehe willwill goego beyondbeyond
themthem allall.
Cit.CitizenCit.WellWell remembredremembered wifewife, comecome vpup RafeRafe: Il’eI’ll telltell youyou
GentlemenGentlemen, letlet themthem butbut lendlend himhim aa suitsuit ofof reparrellreparel, andand ne-necessariesne∣cessariesnecessaries
cessaries,
andand byby GadGad, ifif anyany ofof themthem allall blowblow windewind inin thethe
tailetail onon himhim, Il’eI’ll bebe hang’dhanged.
WifeWife.II praypray youyou youthyouth letlet himhim hauehave aa suitsuit ofof reparrellreparel,
Il’eI’ll bebe swornesworn GentlemenGentlemen, mymy husbandhusband telstells youyou truetrue, heehe
willwill actact youyou sometimessometimes atat ourour househouse, thatthat allall thethe neighboursneighbours
crycry outout onon himhim: heehe willwill fetchfetch youyou vpup aa couragingcouraging partpart soso
inin thethe garretgarret, thatthat wewe areare allall asas feardfeared II warrantwarrant youyou, thatthat weewe
quakequake againeagain: wee’lwe’ll fearefear ourour chlidrenchildrenchlidrenchildren withwith himhim ifif theythey beebe
neuernever soso vn-rulyunruly, dodo butbut crycry, RafeRafe comescomes, RafeRafe comescomes toto themthem,
andand they’lthey’ll bebe asas quyetquiet asas LambesLambs. HoldHold vpup thythy headhead RafeRafe,
shewshow thethe GentlemenGentlemen whatwhat thouthou canstcanst doedo, speakespeak aa huf-huffinghuf∣finghuffing
fing
partpart, II warrantwarrant youyou thethe GentlemenGentlemen willwill acceptaccept ofof itit.
Cit.CitizenCit.DoDo RafeRafe, dodo.
RafeRafe.ByBy heauenheaven me thinkesmethinks itit werewere anan easieeasy leapleap
ToTo pluckepluck brightbright honourhonour fromfrom thethe pale-fac’dpale-faced MooneMoon,
OrOr diuedive intointo thethe bottomebottom ofof thethe seasea,
WhereWhere neuernever fathamefathom lineline touch’ttouched anyany groundground,
AndAnd pluckepluck vpup drowneddrowned honorhonour fromfrom thethe lakelake ofof hellhell.
Cit.CitizenCit.HowHow saysay youyou GentlemenGentlemen, isis itit notnot asas II toldtold youyou?
WifeWife.NayNay GentlemenGentlemen, heehe hathhath playdplayed beforebefore, mymy husbandhusband
sayessays, MusidorusMucedorusMusidorus beforebefore thethe WardensWardens ofof ourour CompanyCompany.
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyay, andand heehe shouldshould hauehave playdplayed IeronimoJeronimojeronimo withwith aa Shooe-Shooe∣makerShoemaker
maker
forfor aa wagerwager.
Pro.ProloguePro.HeHe shallshall hauehave aa suitesuit ofof apparrellapparel ifif hehe willwill gogo inin.
Cit.CitizenCit.InIn RafeRafe, inin RafeRafe, andand setset outout thethe GroceryGrocery inin theirtheir kindekind,
ifif thouthou lou’stlov’st meme.
WifeWife.II warrantwarrant ourour RafeRafe willwill lookelook finelyfinely whenwhen hee’she’s
drestdressed.
Pro.ProloguePro.ButBut whatwhat willwill youyou hauehave itit cal’dcalled?
Cit.CitizenCit.TheThe GrocersGrocer’sgrocer’s honourhonour.
Pro.ProloguePro.Me thinksMethinksmethinks TheThe KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning PestlePestle werewere betterbetter.

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Wif.WifeWif.Il’eI’ll bebe swornsworn husbandhusband, thatsthat’s asas goodgood aa namename asas cancan bebe.
Cit.CitizenCit.LetLet itit bebe soso, beginbegin, beginbegin, mymy wifewife andand II wilwill sitsit downedown.
Pro.ProloguePro.II praypray youyou dodo.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhatWhat statelystately mucsikemusic hauehave youyou? youyou hauehave shawmesshawms.
Pro.ProloguePro.ShawnesShawmsshawms? nono.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo? Im’eI’m aa thiefethief ifif mymy mindemind diddid notnot giuegive meme soso. RafeRafe
playesplays aa statelystately partpart, andand hehe mustmust needsneeds hauehave shawnesshawms: Il’eI’ll
bebe atat thethe chargecharge ofof themthem my selfemyself, ratherrather thenthanthen wee’lwe’ll bebe with-withoutwith∣outwithout
out
themthem.Pro.ProloguePro.SoSo youyou areare likelike toto bebe.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhyWhy andand soso II willwill bebe: ther’sthere’s twotwo shillingsshillings, let’slet’s hauehave
thethe waitswaits ofof South-warkeSouthwark, theythey areare asas rarerare fellowesfellows asas anyany
areare inin EnglandEngland; andand thatthat willwill fetchfetch themthem allall or’eo’er thethe waterwater
withwith aa vengeancevengeance, asas ifif theythey werewere madmad.
Pro.ProloguePro.YouYou shallshall hauehave themthem: willwill youyou sitsit downedown thenthen?
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyay, comecome wifewife.
WifeWife.SitSit youyou merrymerry allall GentlemenGentlemen, Im’eI’m boldbold toto sitsit a-amongsta∣mongstamongst
mongst
youyou forfor mymy easeease.
Pro.ProloguePro.FromFrom allall that’sthat’s neerenear thethe CourtCourt, fromfrom allall that’sthat’s greatgreat.
WithinWithin thethe compassecompass ofof thethe Citty-wallesCity wallsCity-walls,
WeWe nownow hauehave broughtbrought ourour SceaneScene: flyefly farrefar fromfrom hencehence
AllAll priuateprivate taxestaxes, immodestimmodest phrasesphrases,
What ereWhate’erwhate’er maymay butbut shewshow likelike viciousvicious:
ForFor wickedwicked mirthmirth neuernever truetrue pleasurepleasure bringsbrings,
ButBut honesthonest mindsminds areare pleas’dpleased withwith honesthonest thingsthings.
ThusThus muchmuch forfor thatthat wewe dodo: butbut forfor RafesRafe’s partpart
YouYou mustmust answereanswer forfor your selfeyourself.
Cit.CitizenCit.TakeTake youyou nono carecare forfor RafeRafe, hee’lhe’ll dischargedischarge himselfehimself II
warrantwarrant youyou.
WifeWife.I faithI’faithi’faith GentlemenGentlemen Il’eI’ll giuegive mymy wordword forfor RafeRafe.

ActusActus primiprimi, ScoenaScoena primaprima.

EnterEnter MarchantMerchant, andand IasperJasperjasper hishis PrenticePrentice.

March.MerchantMarch.SirrahSirrah, Il’eI’ll makemake youyou knowknow youyou areare mymy PrenticePrentice,
AndAnd whomwhom mymy charitablecharitable louelove redeem’dredeemed
EuenEven fromfrom thethe fallfall ofof fortunefortune, gauegave theethee heateheat

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AndAnd growthgrowth, toto bebe whatwhat nownow thouthou artart, newnew castcast theethee,
AddingAdding thethe trusttrust ofof allall II hauehave atat homehome,
InIn forrenforeign StaplesStaples, oror vponupon thethe SeaSea
ToTo thythy directiondirection, ti’detied thethe goodgood opinionsopinions
BothBoth ofof my selfemyself andand friendsfriends toto thythy endeauoursendeavours,
SoSo fairefair werewere thythy beginningsbeginnings, butbut withwith thesethese,
AsAs II rememberremember, youyou hadhad neuernever chargecharge,
ToTo louelove youryour MaistersMaster’smaster’s daughterdaughter, andand eueneven thenthen,
WhenWhen II hadhad foundfound aa wealthywealthy husbandhusband forfor herher,
II taketake itit, sirsir, youyou hadhad notnot; butbut how euerhowever,
I’leI’ll breakebreak thethe neckeneck ofof thatthat commissioncommission,
AndAnd makemake youyou knowknow youyou areare butbut aa MerchantsMerchant’s FactorFactor.
Iasp.JasperIasp.SirSir, II dodo liberallyliberally confesseconfess II amam yoursyours,
BoundBound, bothboth byby louelove andand dutyduty, toto youryour seruiceservice;
InIn whichwhich, mymy labourlabour hathhath benebeen allall mymy profitprofit;
II hauehave notnot lostlost inin bargainebargain, nornor delighteddelighted
ToTo wearewear youryour honesthonest gainesgains vponupon mymy backeback,
NorNor hauehave II giuengiven aa pencionpension toto mymy bloudblood,
OrOr lauishlylavishly inin playplay consum’dconsumed youryour stockestock.
TheseThese, andand thethe miseriesmiseries thatthat dodo attendattend themthem,
II daredare, withwith innocenceinnocence, proclaimeproclaim areare strangersstrangers
ToTo allall mymy temperatetemperate actionsactions; forfor youryour daughterdaughter,
IfIf therethere bebe anyany louelove, toto mymy deseruingsdeservings,
BorneBorne byby herher vertuousvirtuous selfeself, II cannotcannot stopstop itit?
NorNor, amam II ableable toto refrainerefrain herher wisheswishes.
She’sShe’s priuateprivate toto her selfeherself andand bestbest ofof knowledgeknowledge,
WhomWhom she’leshe’ll makemake soso happyhappy asas toto sighsigh forfor.
BesidesBesides, II cannotcannot thinkethink youyou meanemean toto matchmatch herher,
VntoUnto aa felowfellow ofof soso lamelame aa presencepresence,
OneOne thatthat hathhath littlelittle leftleft ofof NatureNature inin himhim.
Mar.MerchantMar.’Tis’Tis veryvery wellwell sirsir, II cancan telltell youryour wisedomewisdom
HowHow allall thisthis shallshall beebe cur’dcured.Iasp.JasperIasp.YourYour carecare becomesbecomes youyou.
March.MerchantMarch.AndAnd thusthus itit mustmust bebe sirsir, II heerehere dischargedischarge youyou
MyMy househouse andand seruiceservice, taketake youryour libertyliberty,
AndAnd whenwhen II wantwant aa sonneson I’leI’ll sendsend forfor youyou.ExitExit:
Iasp.JasperIasp.TheseThese bebe thethe fairefair rewardsrewards ofof themthem thatthat louelove.
OO youyou thatthat liuelive inin freedomefreedom neuernever proueprove

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TheThe trauelltravel ofof aa mindmind ledled byby desiredesire.EnterEnter LuceLuce.
Luce.Luce.WhyWhy, howhow nownow friendfriend, struckstruck withwith mymy fathersfather’s thun-thunderthun∣derthunder(der?

Iasp.JasperIasp.StruckeStruck andand struckestruck deaddead vnlesseunless thethe remedyremedy
BeBe fullfull ofof speedespeed andand vertuevirtue; II amam nownow,
WhatWhat II expectedexpected longlong, nono moremore youryour fathersfather’sfathers.
Luce.Luce.ButBut minemine.Iasp.JasperIasp.ButBut yoursyours, andand onelyonly yoursyours II amam,
That’sThat’s allall II hauehave toto keepekeep meeme fromfrom thethe StatuteStatute,
YouYou daredare bebe constantconstant stillstill.Luce.Luce.OO fearefear meme notnot,
InIn thisthis II daredare bebe betterbetter thenthan aa womanwoman.
NorNor shallshall hishis angeranger, nornor hishis offersoffers mouemove meme,
WereWere theythey bothboth equallequal toto aa PrincesPrince’sPRINCE’s powerpower.
Iasp.JasperIasp.YouYou knowknow mymy riuallrival?Luce.Luce.YesYes andand louelove himhim deerlydearlydear
EuenEven asas II louelove anan agueague, oror foulefoul weatherweather,
II pretheeprithee IasperJasperjasper fearefear himhim notnot.Iasp.JasperIasp.OO nono,
II dodo notnot meanemean toto dodo himhim soso muchmuch kindnessekindness,
ButBut toto ourour owneown desiresdesires, youyou knowknow thethe plotplot
WeWe bothboth agreedagreed onon.Luce.Luce.YesYes, andand willwill performeperform
MyMy partpart exactlyexactly.Iasp.JasperIasp.II desiredesire nono moremore,
Fare-wellFarewellfarewell, andand keepekeep mymy heartheart, ’tis’tis yoursyours.Luce.Luce.II taketake itit,
HeHe mustmust dodo miraclesmiracles makesmakes meme forsakeforsake itit.ExeuntExeunt.
Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.FyeFie vponupon am’emam littlelittle infidelsinfidels, whatwhat aa mattersmatter’s herehere
nownow? wellwell, I’leI’ll bebe hang’dhanged forfor aa halfe-pennyhalfpenny, ifif therethere bebe notnot
somesome abominationabomination knaueryknavery inin thisthis PlayPlay, wellwell, letlet’emletlet ’em ’em’em lookelook
tootto’t, RafeRafe mustmust comecome, andand ifif therethere bebe anyany trickstricks a brewingaa-brewinga brewing brewing, —
WifeWife.LetLet’emLetLet ’em ’em’em brewbrew andand bakebake tootoo husbandhusband, aa’a GodsGod’s namename,
RafeRafe willwill findfind allall outout II warrantwarrant youyou, andand theythey werewere olderolder thenthan
theythey areare, II praypray mymy prettypretty youthyouth isis RafeRafe readyready.
BoyBoy.HeHe willwill bebe presentlypresently.
WifeWife.NowNow II praypray youyou makemake mymy commendationscommendations vntounto
himhim, andand withallwithal carrycarry himhim thisthis stickestick ofof LicorasLiquoriceliquorice, telltell himhim hishis
MistresseMistress sentsent itit himhim, andand bidbid himhim bitebite aa peecepiece, ’twill’twill openopen hishis
pipespipes thethe betterbetter, saysay.
EnterEnter MarchantMerchant, andand MaisterMaster HumferyHumphreyHumfery.
Mar.MerchantMar.ComeCome sirsir, shee’sshe’s yoursyours, vponupon mymy faithfaith she’sshe’s yoursyours
YouYou hauehave mymy handhand, forfor otherother idleidle letslets
BetweeneBetween youryour hopeshopes andand herher, thusthus, withwith aa windwind
TheyThey areare scatteredscattered andand nono moremore: mymy wantonwanton PrenticePrentice,

That

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ThatThat likelike aa bladderbladder, blewblew himselfehimself withwith louelove,
II hauehave letlet outout, andand sentsent himhim toto discouerdiscover
NewNew MaistersMasters yetyet vnknowneunknown.Humf.HumphreyHumf.II thankethank youyou sirsir,
IndeedIndeed II thankethank youyou sirsir, andand ereere II stirstir
ItIt shallshall beebe knowneknown, how euerhowever youyou dodo deemedeem,
II amam ofof gentlegentle bloudblood andand gentlegentle seemeseem.
March.MerchantMarch.OO sirsir, II knowknow itit certainecertain.Humf.HumphreyHumf.SirSir mymy friendfriend,
AlthoughAlthough, asas WritersWriters saysay, allall thingsthings hauehave endend,
AndAnd thatthat wewe callcall aa puddingpudding, hathhath hishis twotwo
OOOh letlet itit notnot seemeseem strangestrange II praypray toto youyou,
IfIf inin thisthis bloudybloody similesimile, II putput
MyMy louelove, moremore endlesseendless, thenthanthen frailefrail thingsthings oror gutgut.
WifeWife.HusbandHusband, II pretheeprithee sweetesweet lambelamb telltell meme oneone thingthing,
ButBut telltell meeme truelytruly: staystay youthsyouths II beseechbeseech youyou, tilltill II questionquestion
mymy husbandhusband.Citiz.CitizenCitiz.WhatWhat isis itit mousemouse?
WifeWife.SirrahSirrah, didstdidst thouthou euerever seesee aa prettierprettier childchild? howhow itit
behauesbehaves it selfeitself, II warrantwarrant yeeye, andand speakesspeaks, andand lookeslooks, andand
peartspertspearts vpup thethe headhead? II praypray youyou brotherbrother, withwith youryour fauorfavour, werewere
youyou neuernever nonenone ofof M.MasterM. MonkestersMonkester’s schollarsscholars?
Cit.CitizenCit.ChickenChicken, II pretheeprithee heartelyheartily containecontain thy selfethyself, thethe
childerchilderchildren areare prettypretty childerchilderchildren, butbut whenwhen RafeRafe comescomes, LambeLamb.
WifeWife.IAyI whenwhen RafeRafe comescomes connycunnyconey; wellwell mymy youthyouth, youyou maymay (proceedproceed
Mar.MerchantMar.WelWell sirsir, youyou knowknow mymy louelove, andand restrest, II hopehope,
Assur’dAssured ofof mymy consentconsent, getget butbut mymy daughtersdaughter’sdaughters,
AndAnd wedwed herher whenwhen youyou pleaseplease; youyou mustmust bebe boldbold,
AndAnd clapclap inin closeclose vntounto herher, comecome, II knowknow
YouYou hauehave languagelanguage goodgood enoughenough toto winwin aa wenchwench.
WifeWife.AA whoresonwhoreson tyranttyrant hash’ashas benbeen anan oldold stringerstringer in’sin’s daiesdays II
warrantwarrant himhim.Humf.HumphreyHumf.II taketake youryour gentlegentle offeroffer andand withallwithal
YeeldYield louelove againeagain forfor louelove reciprocallreciprocal.EnterEnter LuceLuce.
Mar.MerchantMar.WhatWhat LuceLuce withinwithin therethere.Lu.LuceLu.Cal’dCalled youyou sirsir?
Mar.MerchantMar.II diddid.
GiueGive entertainemententertainment toto thisthis GentlemanGentleman
AndAnd seesee youyou beebe notnot frowardfroward: toto herher sirsir,
MyMy presencepresence willwill butbut beebe anan eye-soareeyesore toto youyou.ExitExit.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.FaireFair MistresseMistress LuceLuce, howhow dodo youyou, areare youyou wellwell?
GiueGive meme youryour handhand andand thenthen II praypray youyou telltell,
HowHow dothdoth youryour littlelittle sistersister, andand youryour brotherbrother?

And

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

AndAnd whetherwhether youyou louelove meme oror anyany otherother.
Luce.Luce.SirSir, thesethese areare quickelyquickly answeredanswered.Humf.HumphreyHumf.SoSo theythey (areare.
WhereWhere womenwomen areare notnot cruelcruel: butbut howhow farrefar
IsIs itit nownow distantdistant fromfrom thisthis placeplace wewe areare inin,
VntoUnto thatthat blessedblessed placeplace youryour fathersfather’s warrenwarren.
Luce.Luce.WhatWhat makesmakes youyou thinkethink ofof thatthat sirsir?
Humf.HumphreyHumf.EuenEveneven thatthat faceface
ForFor stealingstealing RabbetsRabbitsrabbits whilomewhilom inin thatthat placeplace,
GodGod CupidCupid, oror thethe KeeperKeeper, II knowknow notnot whetherwhether
VntoUnto mymy costcost andand chargescharges broughtbrought youyou thitherthither,
AndAnd therethere beganbegan.Luce.Luce.YourYour gamegame sirsir.Humf.HumphreyHumf.LetLet nono gamegame,
OrOr any thinganyanythingany thing thing thatthat tendethtendeth toto thethe samesame.
BeeBebe euermoreevermore remembredremembered, thouthou fairefair killerkiller
ForFor whomwhom II satesat meme downedown andand brakebrakebroke mymy TillerTiller.
WifeWife.There’sThere’s aa kindkind GentlemanGentleman, II warrantwarrant youyou, whenwhen
willwill youyou dodo asas muchmuch forfor meme GeorgeGeorge?
Luce.Luce.BeshrewBeshrew meme sirsir, II amam sorrysorry forfor youryour losseslosses,
ButBut asas thethe prouerbeproverb saiessays, II cannotcannot crycry,
II wouldwould youyou hadhad notnot seeneseen meme.Humf.HumphreyHumf.SoSo wouldwould II.
VnlesseUnless youyou hadhad moremore mawmaw toto dodo meme goodgood.
Luce.Luce.WhyWhy, cannotcannot thisthis strangestrange passionpassion bebe withstoodwithstood,
SendSend forfor aa ConstableConstable andand raiseraise thethe TowneTown.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.OO nono, mymy valiantvaliant louelove willwill batterbatter downedown
MillionsMillions ofof ConstablesConstables, andand putput toto flightflight,
EuenEven thatthat greatgreat watchwatch ofof Mid-summerMidsummer dayday atat nightnight.
Luce.Luce.BeshrewBeshrew meme sirsir, ’twere’twere goodgood II yeeldedyielded thenthen,
WeakeWeak womenwomen cannotcannot hopehope, wherewhere valiantvaliant menmen
HaueHave nono resistanceresistance.Humf.HumphreyHumf.YeeldYield thenthen, II amam fullfull
OfOf pittypity, thoughthough II saysay itit, andand cancan pullpull
OutOut ofof mymy pocketpocket, thusthus, aa pairepair ofof glouesgloves,
LookeLook LucyLucy, lookelook, thethe dogsdog’s toothtooth, nornor thethe DouesDoves
AreAre notnot soso whitewhite asas thesethese; andand sweetesweet theythey beebe,
AndAnd whiptwhipped aboutabout withwith silkesilk, asas youyou maymay seesee.
IfIf youyou desiredesire thethe priceprice, suteshootsuit fromfrom youryour eieeye,
AA beamebeam toto thisthis placeplace, andand youyou shallshall espieespy
F.F. S.S. whichwhich isis toto saysay, mymy sweetestsweetest honyhoney,
TheyThey costcost meme threethree andand twotwo pencepence, oror nono monymoney.

Luce.

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Luce.Luce.WellWell sirsir, II taketake themthem kindlykindly, andand II thankethank youyou,
WhatWhat wouldwould youyou moremore?Hum.HumphreyHum.NothingNothing.Luce.Luce.WhyWhy thenthen (fare-wellfarewell.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.NorNor soso, nornor soso, forfor LadyLady II mustmust telltell,
BeforeBefore wewe partpart, forfor whatwhat wewe metmet togethertogether,
GodGod grantgrant meme timetime, andand patiencepatience, andand fairefair weatherweather.
Luce.Luce.SpeakeSpeak andand declaredeclare youryour mindemind inin termesterms soso briefebrief.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.II shallshall, thenthenthan firstfirst andand formostforemost forfor relieferelief
II callcall toto youyou, II ifif thatthat youyou cancan affoordafford itit,
II carecare notnot atat whatwhat priceprice, forfor onon mymy wordword, itit
ShallShall bebe repaidrepaid againeagain, althoughalthough itit costcost meme
MoreMore thenthan I’leI’ll speakespeak ofof nownow, forfor louelove hathhath tosttossed meme,
InIn furiousfurious blanketblanket likelike aa TennisTennis ballball,
AndAnd nownow II riserise aloftaloft, andand nownow II fallfall.
Luce.Luce.AlasAlas goodgood GentlemanGentleman, alasalas thethe dayday.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.II thankethank youyou hartelyheartily, andand asas II saysay,
ThusThus dodo II stillstill continuecontinue withoutwithout restrest,
I’th’I’th’ morningmorning likelike aa manman, atat nightnight aa beastbeast,
RoaringRoaring andand bellowingbellowing mynemine owneown disquietdisquiet,
ThatThat muchmuch II fearefear, forsakingforsaking ofof mymy dietdiet,
WillWill bringbring meme presentlypresently toto thatthat quandaryquandary,
II shallshall bidbid allall adeiwadieu:Luce.Luce.NowNow byby S.SaintS. MaryMaryMarry
ThatThat werewere greatgreat pittypity.Hum.HumphreyHum.SoSo itit werewere beshrewbeshrew meme,
ThenThen easeease meme lustylusty LuceLuce, andand pittypity shewshow meme.
Luce.Luce.WhyWhy sirsir, youyou knowknow mymy willwill isis nothingnothing worthworth
WithoutWithout mymy fathersfather’s grantgrant, getget hishis consentconsent,
AndAnd thenthenthan youyou maymay withwith assuranceassurance trytry meme.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.TheThe WorshipfullWorshipful youryour siresire willwill notnot denydeny meme.
ForFor II hauehave asktasked himhim, andand hehe hathhath repli’dreplied,
SweeteSweet MaisterMaster HumfreyHumphrey, LuceLuce shallshall bebe thythy BrideBride.
Luce.Luce.SweeteSweet MaisterMaster HumfreyHumphrey thenthen II amam contentcontent.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.AndAnd soso amam II intruthin truthintruth.Luce.Luce.YetYet taketake meme withwith youyou,
ThereThere isis anotheranother clauseclause mustmust bebe annextannexed,
AndAnd thisthis itit isis, II sworeswore andand willwill performeperform itit;
NoNo manman shallshall euerever ioyjoy meme asas hishis wifewife
ButBut hehe thatthat stolestole meme hencehence, ifif youyou daredare venterventure
II amam yoursyours; youyou needneed notnot fearefear, mymy fatherfather louesloves youyou,
IfIf notnot farewellfarewell forfor euerever.Humf.HumphreyHumf.StayStay NimphNymph, staiestay,

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II hauehave aa doubledouble GeldingGelding culoredcoloured baybay,
SprungSprung byby hishis fatherfather fromfrom BarbarianBarbarian kindkind,
AnotherAnother forfor my selfemyself, thoughthough somewhatsomewhat blindblind,
YetYet truetrue asas trustytrusty treetree.Luce.Luce.II amam satisfiedsatisfied,
AndAnd soso II giuegive mymy handhand, ourour coursecourse mustmust lielie
ThroughThrough WalthamWaltham ForrestForest, wherewhere II hauehave aa friendfriend
WillWill entertaineentertain vsus, soso fare-wellfarewell sirsir HumfreyHumphrey,ExitExit LuceLuce.
AndAnd thinkethink vponupon youryour businessebusiness.Humf.HumphreyHumf.ThoughThough II diedie,
II amam resolu’dresolved toto venterventure lifelife andand limlimb,
ForFor oneone soso yongyoung, soso fairefair, soso kindkind, soso trimtrim.ExitExit HumfreyHumphrey.
WifeWife.ByBy mymy faithfaith andand trothtroth GeorgeGeorge, andand asas II amam vertu-vertuousvertu∣ousvirtuous
ous,
itit isis e’nee’en thethe kindestkindest yongyoung manman thatthat euerever trodtrod onon shooeshoe
leatherleather, wellwell, gogo thythy waiesways ifif thouthou hasthast herher notnot, ’tis’tis notnot thythy
faultfault ’faith’faith.
Cit.CitizenCit.II pretheeprithee mousemouse bebe patientpatient, a’a shallshall hauehave herher, oror i’lei’ll
makemake some’emsome ’em smoakesmoke for’tfor’t.
WifeWife.That’sThat’s mymy goodgood lambelamb GeorgeGeorge, fiefie, thisthis stinkingstinking
TobaccoTobacco kilskills menmen, wouldwould therethere werewere nonenone inin EnglandEngland, nownow II
praypray GentlemenGentlemen, whatwhat goodgood doesdoes thisthis stinkingstinking TobaccoTobacco? dodo
youyou nothingnothing, II warrantwarrant youyou makemake chimnieschimneys ao’a youryour facesfaces: oooh
husbandhusband, husbandhusband, nownow, nownow, there’sthere’s RafeRafe, there’sthere’s RafeRafe.
EnterEnter RafeRafe likelike aa GrocerGrocerin’sGrocerGrocerin’s in’sin’s shopshop, withwith twotwo PrenticesPrentices
ReadingReading PalmerinPalmerin ofof EnglandEngland.
Cit.CitizenCit.PeacePeace foolefool, letlet RafeRafe alonealone, harkehark youyou RafeRafe; doedo notnot
strainestrain your selfeyourself tootoo muchmuch atat thethe firstfirst, peacepeace, beginbegin RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.ThenThen PalmerinPalmerin andand TrineusTrineus snatchingsnatching theirtheir LauncesLances
fromfrom theirtheir DwarsesDwarfesDwarsesDwarfsdwarfs, andand claspingclasping theirtheir HelmetsHelmets galloptgalloped a-amainea∣maineamain
maine
afterafter thethe GyantGiant, andand PalmerinPalmerin hauinghaving gottengotten aa sightsight ofof
himhim, camecame postingposting amaineamain, sayingsaying: StayStay trayteroustraitorous thiefethief, forfor
thouthou maistmayst notnot soso carrycarry awayaway herher, thatthat isis worthworth thethe greatestgreatest
LordLord inin thethe worldworld, andand withwith thesethese wordswords gauegave himhim aa blowblow onon
thethe shouldershoulder, thatthat hehe stroakestroke himhim besidesbesides hishis ElephantElephant, andand
TrineusTrineus commingcoming toto thethe KnightKnight thatthat hadhad AgricolaAgricola behindbehind
himhim, setset himhim soonesoon besidesbesides hishis horsehorse, withwith hishis neckeneck brokenbroken
inin thethe fallfall, soso thatthat thethe PrincessePrincess gettinggetting outout ofof thethe throngethrong,
betweenebetween ioyjoy andand griefegrief saidsaid; allall happyhappy KnightKnight, thethe mirroutmirrourmirroutmirror
ofof allall suchsuch asas followfollow ArmesArms, nownow maymay II beebe wellwell assuredassured ofof

the

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thethe louelove thouthou bearestbearest meme, II wonderwonder whywhy thethe KingsKings doedo notnot
raiseraise anan armyarmy ofof foureteenefourteen oror fifteenefifteen hundredhundred thousandthousand
menmen, asas bigbig asas thethe ArmyArmy thatthat thethe PrincePrince ofof PortigoPortigo broughtbrought
againstagainst RociclerRosiclerRocicler, &and destroydestroy thesethese GiantsGiants, theythey dodo muchmuch hurthurt
toto wandringwand’ringwandering DamselsDamsels, thatthat gogo inin questquest ofof theirtheir KnightsKnights.
WifeWife.FaithFaith husbandhusband andand RafeRafe saiessays truetrue, forfor theythey saysay thethe
KingKing ofof PortugallPortugal cannotcannot sitsit atat hishis meatemeat, butbut thethe GiantsGiants &and
thethe EttinselfinsEttinselfinsEttins willwill comecome andand snatchsnatch itit fromfrom himhim,
Cit.CitizenCit.HoldHold thythy tonguetongue, onon RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.AndAnd certainelycertainly thosethose KnightsKnights areare muchmuch toto bebe com-commendedcom∣mendedcommended
mended,
whowho neglectingneglecting theirtheir possessionspossessions, wanderwander withwith aa
SquireSquire andand aa DwarfeDwarf throughthrough thethe DesartsDeserts toto relieuerelieve poorepoor
LadiesLadies.
VVifeWife.IAyI byby mymy faithfaith areare theythey RafeRafe, letlet ’em’em saysay whatwhat theythey
willwill, theythey areare indeedindeed, ourour KnightsKnights neglectneglect theirtheir possessionspossessions
wellwell enoughenough, butbut theythey dodo notnot thethe restrest.
RafeRafe.ThereThere areare nono suchsuch courteouscourteous andand fairefair well spokenwellwell-spokenwell spoken spoken
KnightsKnights inin thisthis ageage, theythey willwill callcall oneone thethe sonneson ofof aa whorewhore,
thatthat PalmerinPalmerin ofof EnglandEngland, wouldwould hauehave calledcalled fairefair sirsir; andand
oneone thatthat RosiclerRosicler wouldwould hauehave cal’dcalled rightright beauteousbeauteous DamsellDamsel,
theythey willwill callcall dam’ddamned bitchbitch.
VVifeWife.I’leI’ll beswornebe sworn willwill theythey RafeRafe, theythey hauehave cal’dcalled meeme
soso anan hundredhundred timestimes aboutabout aa scuruyscurvy pipepipe ofof TobaccoTobacco.
RafeRafe.ButBut whatwhat brauebrave spiritspirit couldcould bebe contentcontent toto sitsit inin hishis
shopshop withwith aa flappetflappet ofof woodwood andand aa blewblue apronapron beforebefore himhim
sellingselling MethridatumMithridatummithridate andand DragonsDragon’sdragon’s waterwater toto visitedvisited houseshouses, thatthat
mightmight pursuepursue featsfeats ofof ArmesArms, &and throughthrough hishis noblenoble atchieu-atchieumentsatchieu∣mentsachievements
ments
procureprocure suchsuch aa famousfamous historyhistory toto bebe writtenwritten ofof hishis
heroickeheroic prowesseprowess.
Cit.CitizenCit.WellWell saidsaid RafeRafe, somesome moremore ofof thosethose wordswords RafeRafe.
VVifeWife.TheyThey gogo finelyfinely byby mymy trothtroth.
RafeRafe.WhyWhy shouldshould notnot II thenthen pursuepursue thisthis coursecourse, bothboth
forfor thethe creditcredit ofof my selfemyself andand ourour CompanyCompany, forfor amongstamongst
allall thethe worthyworthy bookesbooks ofof AtchieuementsAchievements II doedo notnot callcall
toto mindemind thatthat II yetyet readread ofof aa GrocerGrocer ErrantErrant, II willwill bebe thethe
saidsaid KnightKnight, hauehave youyou heardheard ofof anyany, thatthat hathhath wandredwandered
vnfurnishedunfurnished ofof hishis SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf, mymy elderelder PrenticePrentice

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Tim

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TimTim shallshall bebe mymy trustytrusty SquireSquire, andand littlelittle GeorgeGeorge mymy DwarfeDwarf,
HenceHence mymy blewblue AporneApronapron, yetyet inin remembranceremembrance ofof mymy formerformer
TradeTrade, vponupon mymy shiledshieldshield shallshall bebe purtraideportrayed, aa burningburning PestlePestle,
andand II willwill bebe cal’dcalled thethe KnightKnight otho’th’ burningburning PestlePestle.
WifeWife.NayNay, II daredare sweareswear thouthou wiltwilt notnot forgetforget thythy oldold
TradeTrade, thouthou wertwert euerever meekemeek.RafeRafe.Tim.Tim.
Tim.Tim.AnonAnon.
RafeRafe.MyMy belouedbeloved SquireSquire, &and GeorgeGeorge mymy DwarfeDwarf, II chargecharge
youyou thatthat fromfrom hence-forthhenceforth youyou neuernever callcall meme byby anyany otherother
namename, butbut thethe RightRight CourteousCourteous andand ValiantValiant KnightKnight ofof thethe bur-burningbur∣ningburning
ning
PestlePestle, andand thatthat youyou neuernever callcall anyany femalefemale byby thethe namename ofof
aa womanwoman oror wenchwench, butbut fairefair LadieLady, ifif sheshe hauehave herher desiresdesires,
ifif notnot distresseddistressed DamsellDamsel, thatthat youyou callcall allall ForrestsForests &and HeathsHeaths
DesartsDeserts, andand allall horseshorseshorses’ PalfriesPalfreys.
WifeWife.ThisThis isis veryvery finefine, faithfaith, dodo thethe GentlemenGentlemen likelike RafeRafe,
thinkethink youyou, husbandhusband?
Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.IAyay, II warrantwarrant theethee, thethe PlaiersPlayers wouldwould giuegive allall thethe
shooesshoes inin theirtheir shopshop forfor himhim.
RafeRafe.MyMy belouedbeloved SquireSquire TimTim, standstand outout, admitadmit thisthis werewere
aa DesartDesert, andand ouerover itit aa KnightKnight erranterrant prickingpricking, andand II shouldshould
bidbid youyou inquireinquire ofof hishis intentsintents, whatwhat wouldwould youyou saysay?
Tim.Tim.SirSir, mymy MaisterMaster sentsent meme, toto knowknow whetherwhether youryouyouryou areare
ridingriding?
RafeRafe.NoNo, thusthus; fairefair sirsir, thethe RightRight CourteousCourteous andand ValiantValiant
KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning PestlePestle, commandedcommanded meme toto enquireinquire, vponupon
whatwhat aduentureadventure youryouyouryou areare boundbound, whetherwhether toto relieuerelieve somesome di-distresseddi∣stresseddistressed
stressed
DamselsDamsels, oror otherwiseotherwise.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhoresomeWhoresonwhoreson blocke-headblockhead cannotcannot rememberremember.
WifeWife.I’faithI’faith, &and RafeRafe toldtold himhim on’ton’t beforebefore, allall thethe GentlemenGentlemen
heardheard himhim, diddid hehe notnot GentlemenGentlemen, diddid notnot RafeRafe teltell himhim on’ton’t?
GeorgeGeorge.RightRight CourteousCourteous andand ValiantValiant KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning
PestlePestle, herehere isis aa distresseddistressed DamsellDamsel, toto hauehave aa halfe penny-halfehalfpennyworthhalf
worth penny-worth pennyworth
ofof pepperpepper.
WifeWife.That’sThat’s aa goodgood boyboy, seesee, thethe littlelittle boyboy cancan hithit itit, byby
mymy trothtroth it’sit’s aa finefine childchild.
RafeRafe.RelieueRelieve herher withwith allall courteouscourteous languagelanguage, nownow
shutshut vpup shoppeshop, nono moremore mymy PrenticePrentice, butbut mymy trustytrusty

Squire

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf, II mustmust bespeakbebebespeak mymy shieldshield andand arming-arming∣pestlearmingarming∣pestle
pestlepestle.
Cit.CitizenCit.GoGo thythy waiesways RafeRafe, asas Im’eI’m aa truetrue manman, thouthou artart thethe
bestbest onon ’em’em allall.
WifeWife.RafeRafe, RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.WhatWhat saysay youyou mistressemistress?
WifeWife.II pre’theeprithee comecome againeagain quicklyquickly sweetsweet RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.ByBy andand byby.ExitExit RafeRafe.
EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper, andand hishis mothermother mistressemistress Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.GiueGive theethee mymy blessingblessing? NoNo, Il’eI’ll ner’ene’er giuegive
theethee mymy blessingblessing, Il’eI’ll seesee theethee hang’dhanged firstfirst; itit shallshall ner’ene’er beebe
saidsaid II gauegave theethee mymy blessingblessing, th’artth’artthou’rt thythy fathersfather’sfathers owneown sonneson,
ofof thethe rightright bloudblood ofof thethe Merri-thoughtsMerrythoughtsmerry-thoughts, II maymay cursecurse thethe
timetime thatthat er’eere II knewknew thythy fatherfather, hehe hathhath spentspent allall hishis owneown,
andand minemine tootoo, andand whenwhen II telltell himhim ofof itit, hehe laugheslaughs andand dan-dancesdan∣cesdances
ces,
andand singssings, andand cryescries, AA merrymerry heartheart liueslives long-along-along. AndAnd
thouthou artart aa wast-thriftwastethriftwaste-thrift, andand artart runrun awayaway fromfrom thythy maistermaster,
thatthat lou’dloved theethee wellwell, andand artart comecome toto meme, andand II hauehave laidlaid vpup aa
littlelittle forfor mymy yongeryounger sonneson MichaelMichael, andand thouthou think’stthink’st toto be-bezellbe∣zellbezzlebezell
zell
thatthat, butbut thouthou shaltshalt neuernever bebe ableable toto dodo itit. ComeCome hitherhither
MichaelMichael, comecome MichaelMichael, downedown onon thythy kneesknees, thouthou shaltshalt
hauehave mymy blessingblessing.EnterEnter MichaelMichael.
Mich.MichaelMich.II praypray youyou mothermother praypray toto GodGod toto blessebless meme.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.GodGod blessebless theethee: butbut IasperJasperjasper shalshall neuernever hauehave
mymy blessingblessing, hehe shallshall bebe hang’dhanged firstfirst, shallshall heehe notnot MichaelMichael?
howhow saistsaystsayest thouthou?
Mich.MichaelMich.YesYes forsoothforsooth mothermother andand gracegrace ofof GodGod.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.That’sThat’s aa goodgood boyboy.
WifeWife.I faithI’faithi’faith it’sit’s aa fine spokenfinefine-spokenfine spoken spoken childchild.
Iasp.JasperIasp.MotherMother, thoughthough youyou forgetforget aa parentsparent’s louelove,
II mustmust preseruepreserve thethe dutyduty ofof aa childchild.
II ranran notnot fromfrom mymy maistermaster, nornor returnereturn
ToTo hauehave youryour stockestock maintainemaintain mymy IdlenesseIdleness.
WifeWife.VngraciousUngracious childechild II warrantwarrant himhim, harkehark howhow heehe
chopschops logickelogic withwith hishis mothermother: thouthou hadsthadst bestbest telltell herher sheshe
lyeslies, dodo telltell herher sheshe lyeslies.
Cit.CitizenCit.IfIf heehe werewere mymy sonneson, II wouldwould hanghang himhim vpup byby thethe

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heelesheels, andand fleaflay himhim, andand saltsalt himhim, whoore-sonnewhoreson halter-halter∣sackhalter∣sack
sackhalter-sack.
Iasp.JasperIasp.MyMy commingcoming onelyonly isis toto beggebeg youryour louelove,
WhichWhich II mustmust euerever, thoughthough II neuernever gainegain itit,
AndAnd howsoeuerhowsoever youyou esteemeesteem ofof meme,
ThereThere isis nono dropdrop ofof bloudblood hidhid inin thesethese veinesveins,
ButBut II rememberremember wellwell belongsbelongs toto youyou
ThatThat broughtbrought meme forthforth, andand wouldwould bebe gladglad forfor youyou
ToTo riprip themthem allall againeagain, andand letlet itit outout.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.I faithI’faithi’faith II hadhad sorrowsorrow enoughenough forfor theethee (GodGod
knowesknows) butbut Il’eI’ll hamperhamper theethee wellwell enoughenough: getget theethee inin
thouthou vagabondvagabond, getget theethee inin, andand learnelearn ofof thythy brotherbrother Mi-MichaelMi∣chaelMichael
chaelMichael.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri. withinwithin.NoseNose, nosenose, iollyjolly redred nosenose, andand whowho gauegave
theethee thisthis iollyjolly redred nosenose?
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.HarkeHark, mymy husbandhusband hee’she’s singingsinging andand hoitinghoiting,
AndAnd Im’eI’m fainefain toto carkecark andand carecare, andand allall littlelittle enoughenough.
HusbandHusband, CharlesCharles, CharlesCharles MerithoughtMerrythoughtMerithought.
EnterEnter oldold MerithoughtMerrythoughtMerithought.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.NutmegsNutmegs andand GingerGinger, CinnamonCinnamon andand ClouesCloves,
AndAnd theythey gauegave meme thisthis iollyjolly redred NoseNose.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.IfIf youyou wouldwould considerconsider youryour statestate, youyou wouldwould
hauehave littlelittle lustlust toto singsing, I-wisseIwis.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.ItIt shouldshould neuernever beebe consideredconsidered whilewhile itit werewere anan
estateestate, ifif II thoughtthought itit wouldwould spoylespoil mymy singingsinging.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.ButBut howhow wiltwilt thouthou dodo CharlesCharles, thouthou artart anan oldold
manman, andand thouthou canstcanst notnot workework, andand thouthou hasthast notnot fortieforty shil-shillingsshil∣lingsshillings
lings
leftleft, andand thouthou eatesteatest goodgood meatmeat, andand drinkestdrinkest goodgood
drinkedrink, andand laughestlaughest?
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.AndAnd willwill dodo.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.ButBut howhow wiltwilt thouthou’comethou comecome byby itit CharlesCharles?
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.HowHow? whywhy howhow hauehave II donedone hithertohitherto thisthis fortyforty
yearesyears? II neuernever camecame intointo mymy diningdining roomeroom, butbut atat eleueneleven &and
sixsix a clockeo’clock, II foundfound excellentexcellent meatmeat andand drinkedrink a’tho’th’ tabletable, mymy
clothesclothes werewere neuernever worneworn outout, butbut nextnext morningmorning aa TaylorTailortailor
broughtbrought meme aa newnew suitsuit; andand withoutwithout questionquestion itit willwill bebe soso e-euere∣uerevereuer
uer:
vseuse makesmakes perfectnesseperfectness. IfIf allall shouldshould failefail, itit isis butbut aa littlelittle

straining

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

strainingstraining my selfemyself extraordinaryextraordinary, &and laughlaugh my selfemyself toto deathdeath.
WifeWife.It’sIt’s aa foolishfoolish oldold manman thisthis: isis notnot hehe GeorgeGeorge?
Cit.CitizenCit.YesYes CunnyCunnyconey.
WifeWife.GiueGive meme aa penypenny i’thi’th’ pursepurse whilewhile II liuelive GeorgeGeorge.
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyI byby LadieLady cunniecunnyconey, holdhold theethee therethere.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.WellWell CharlesCharles, youyou promis’dpromised toto prouideprovide forfor Ias-IasperIas∣perJasperjasper
per,
andand II hauehave laidlaid vpup forfor MichaelMichael, II praypray youyou paypay IasperJasperjasper hishis
portionportion, hee’she’s comecome homehome, andand heehe shallshall notnot consumeconsume Mi-MichaelsMi∣chaelsMichael’s
chaels
stockestock: hehe saiessays hishis maistermaster turndturned himhim awayaway, butbut II pro-promisepro∣misepromise
mise
youyou trulytruly, II thinkethink hehe ranran awayaway.
WifeWife.NoNo indeedindeed mistressemistress MerrithoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, thoughthough hehe beebe aa
notablenotable gallowesgallows, yetyet Il’eI’ll assureassure youyou hishis maistermaster diddid turneturn
himhim awayaway, eueneven inin thisthis placeplace ’twas’twas I’faithI’faith withinwithin thisthis halfehalf
hourehour, aboutabout hishis daughterdaughter, mymy husbandhusband waswas byby.
Cit.CitizenCit.HangHang himhim rouguerogue, hehe seru’dserved himhim wellwell enoughenough: louelove
hishis maistersmaster’s daughterdaughter! byby mymy trothtroth CunnieCunnyconey ifif therethere werewere aa
thousandthousand boiesboys, thouthou wouldstwouldst spoilespoil themthem allall withwith takingtaking
theirtheir partsparts, letlet hishis mothermother alonealone withwith himhim.
WifeWife.IAyI GeorgeGeorge, butbut yetyet truthtruth isis truthtruth.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.WhereWhere isis IasperJasperjasper, hee’she’s welcomewelcome how euerhowever,
callcall himhim inin, heehe shallshall hauehave hishis portionportion, isis hehe merrymerry?
EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper andand MichaelMichael.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.IAyI foulefoul chiuechive himhim, hehe isis tootoo merriemerry. IasperJasperjasper,
MichaelMichael.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.WelcomeWelcome IasperJasperjasper, thoughthough thouthou runstrun’st awayaway,
welcomewelcome, GodGod blessebless theethee: ’tis’tis thythy mothersmother’s mindemind thouthou
should’stshouldst receiuereceive thythy portionportion; thouthou hasthast beenebeen abroadabroad, andand
II hopehope hasthast learn’dlearned experienceexperience enoughenough toto gouernegovern itit, thouthou
artart ofof sufficientsufficient yearesyears, holdhold thythy handhand: oneone, twotwo, threethree, fourefour,
fiuefive, sixesix, seuenseven, eighteight, ninenine, there’sthere’s tenten shillingsshillings forfor theethee,
thrustthrust thy selfethyself intointo thethe worldworld withwith thatthat, andand taketake somesome
setledsettled coursecourse, ifif fortunefortune crossecross theethee, thouthou hasthast aa retiringretiring
placeplace, comecome homehome toto meme, II hauehave twentietwenty shillingsshillings leftleft, beebe
aa goodgood husbandhusband, thatthat isis, wearewear ordinaryordinary clothesclothes, eateeat thethe
bestbest meatemeat, andand drinkedrink thethe bestbest drinkedrink, beebe merriemerry, andand
giuegive toto thethe poorepoor, andand beleeuebelieve meme, thouthou hasthast nono endend ofof thythy
goodsgoods.

Iasp.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Iasp.JasperIasp.LongLong maymay youyou liuelive freefree fromfrom allall thoughtthought ofof illill,
AndAnd longlong hauehave causecause toto bebe thusthus merrymerry stillstill.
ButBut fatherfather?
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.NoNo moremore wordswords IasperJasperjasper, getget theethee gonegone, thouthou
hasthast mymy blessingblessing, thythy fathersfather’s spiritspirit vponupon theethee. FarewellFarewell Ias-IasperIas∣perJasperjasper
per,
butbut yetyet oror ereere youyou partpart (ohoho cruellcruel!) kissekiss meme, kissekiss meme
sweetingsweeting, minemine owneown deeredear iewelljewel: SoSo, nownow begonebegone; nono
wordswords.ExitExit IasperJasperjasper.
Mis.MistressMis. mer.merrythoughtmer.SoSo MichaelMichael, nownow getget theethee gonegone tootoo.
Mich.MichaelMich.YesYes forsoothforsooth mothermother, butbut Il’eI’ll hauehave mymy fathersfather’s bles-blessingbles∣singblessing
sing
firstfirst.
Mis.MistressMis. mer.merrythoughtmer.NoNo MichaelMichael, ’tis’tis nownonow mattermatter forfor hishis blessingblessing,
thouthou hasthast mymy blessingblessing, begonebegone; Il’eI’ll fetchfetch mymy moneymoney &and iew-iewelsiew∣elsjewels
els,
andand followfollow theethee: Il’eI’ll staystay nono longerlonger withwith himhim II warrantwarrant
theethee, trulytruly CharlesCharles Il’eI’ll begonebegone tootoo.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.WhatWhat youyou willwill notnot.
Mis.MistressMis. merri.merrythoughtmerri.YesYes indeedindeed willwill II.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.HeyHey hoho, fare-wellfarewell NanNan, Il’eI’ll neuernever trusttrust wenchwench
moremore againeagain, ifif II cancan.
Mis.MistressMis. merri.merrythoughtmerri.YouYou shallshall notnot thinkethink (whenwhen allall youryour owneown
isis gonegone) toto spendspend thatthat II hauehave beenebeen scrapingscraping vpup forfor Mi-MichaelMi∣chael
chaelMichael.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.FarewellFarewell goodgood wifewife, II expectexpect itit notnot; allall II hauehave
toto doedo inin thisthis worldworld, isis toto beebe merrymerry: whichwhich II shallshall, ifif thethe
groundground bebe notnot takentaken fromfrom meme: andand ifif itit bebe,
WhenWhen earthearth andand seasseas fromfrom meme areare restreftrest,
TheThe skyesskies aloftaloft forfor meme areare leftleft.ExeuntExeunt.
BoyBoy dancethdanceth. MusickeMusic.FinisFinis ActusActus primiprimi.
WifeWife.Il’eI’ll bebe swornesworn hee’she’s aa merrymerry oldold GentlemanGentleman forfor allall
thatthat. HarkeHark, harkehark husbandhusband, harkehark, fiddlesfiddles, fiddlesfiddles; nownow sure-surelysure∣lysurely
ly
theythey gogo finelyfinely. TheyThey saysay, ’tis’tis presentpresent deathdeath forfor thesethese fidlersfiddlers
toto tunetune theirtheir RebeckesRebecsRebecks beforebefore thethe greatgreat TurkesTurk’sTurks gracegrace, is’tis’t
notnot GeorgeGeorge? ButBut lookelook, lookelook, here’shere’s aa youthyouth dancesdances: nownow
goodgood youthyouth dodo aa turneturnea’thturn ath’o’th’ toetoe, sweetsweetheartheart, I’faithI’faith IleI’ll hauehave
RafeRafe comecome andand dodo somesome ofof hishis GambolsGambols; hee’lhe’ll rideride thethe wildwild
maremare GentlemenGentlemen, ’twould’twould dodo youryour heartshearts goodgood toto seesee himhim. II
thankethank youyou kindekind youthyouth, praypray bidbid RafeRafe comecome.

Cit.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Cit.CitizenCit.PeacePeace CunnieCunnyconey. SirrahSirrah, youyou scuruiescurvy boyboy, bidbid thethe plai-plaiersplai∣ersplayers
ers
sendsend RafeRafe, oror byby GodsGods — andand theythey dodo notnot, Il’eI’ll tearetear
somesome ofof theirtheir periwigsperiwigs besidebeside theirtheir headsheads: thisthis isis allall Riffe Riffe RaffeRiff-Raffriff-raff
Raffe.
ActusActus secundisecundi ScœnaScoenaScoena primaprima.

EnterEnter MerchantMerchant andand HumphreyHumphrey.
March.MerchantMarch.AndAnd howhow faithfaith? howhow goesgoes itit nownow sonson HumphreyHumphrey?
Humph.HumphreyHumph.RightRight worshipfullworshipful, andand mymy belouedbeloved friendfriend
AndAnd fatherfather deeredear, thisthis mattersmatter’smatters atat anan endend.
March.MerchantMarch.’Tis’Tis wellwell, itit shouldshould bebe soso, Im’eI’m gladglad thethe girlegirl
IsIs foundfound soso tractabletractable.Humph.HumphreyHumph.NayNay sheshe mustmust whirlewhirl
FromFrom hencehence, andand youyou mustmust winkewink: forfor soso II saysay,
TheThe storiestorietelsstory telstells, to morrowtomorrow beforebefore dayday.
WifeWife.GeorgeGeorge, do’stdost thouthou thinkethink inin thythy conscienceconscience nownow ’twil’twil
bebe aa matchmatch? telltell meme butbut whatwhat thouthou thinkstthinkst sweetsweet roguerogue, thouthou
seestseest thethe poorepoor GentlemanGentleman (deeredear heartheart) howhow itit labourslabours andand
throbsthrobs II warrantwarrant youyou, toto bebe atat restrest: Il’eI’ll goego mouemove thethe fatherfather
fortfor’t.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo, nono, II pre’theeprithee sitsit stillstill hony-sucklehoneysuckle, thoul’tthou’ltthoul’t spoilespoil allall,
ifif hehe denydeny himhim, Il’eI’ll bringbring halfehalf aa dozēdozēdozen goodgood fellowsfellows my selfemyself,
&and inin thethe shuttingshutting ofof anan eueningevening knock’tknocked vpup, &and ther’sthere’s anan endend.
WifeWife.Il’eI’ll bussebuss theethee forfor thatthat i’faithi’faith boyboy; wellwell GeorgeGeorge, wellwell,
youyou hauehave beenebeen aa wagwag inin youryour daiesdays II warrantwarrant youyou: butbut GodGod
forgiueforgive youyou, andand II dodo withwith allall mymy heartheart.
March.MerchantMarch.HowHow waswas itit sonneson? youyou toldtold meme thatthat to morrowtomorrow
BeforeBefore dayday breakebreak, youyou mustmust conueyconvey herher hencehence.
Humph.HumphreyHumph.II mustmust, II mustmust, andand thusthus itit isis agreedagreed,
YourYour daughterdaughter ridesrides vponupon aa browne-baybrown-bay steedsteed,
II onon aa sorrellsorrel, whichwhich II boughtbought ofof BrianBrian,
TheThe honesthonest HostHost ofof thethe redred roaringroaring LionLion
InIn WalthamWaltham situatesituate: thenthen ifif youyou maymay
ConsentConsent inin seemelyseemly sortsort, lestlest byby delaydelay,
TheThe fatallfatal sisterssisters comecome andand dodo thethe officeoffice,
AndAnd thenthen you’lyou’ll singsing anotheranother songsong.March.MerchantMarch.AlasseAlas
WhyWhy shouldshould youyou bebe thusthus fullfull ofof griefegrief toto meme?
ThatThat dodo asas willingwilling asas your selfeyourself agreeagree

D

To

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ToTo any thinganyanythingany thing thing soso itit bebe goodgood andand fairefair,
ThenThen stealesteal herher whenwhen youyou willwill, ifif suchsuch aa pleasurepleasure
ContentContent youyou bothboth, I’leI’ll sleepesleep andand neuernever seesee itit,
ToTo makemake youryour ioyesjoys moremore fullfull, butbut telltell meme whywhy
YouYou maymay notnot herehere performeperform youryour marriagemarriage?
WifeWife.GodsGod’s blessingblessing ao’a thythy soulesoul oldold manman, i’faithi’faith thouthou artart
loathloath toto partpart truetrue heartshearts, II seesee, a’a hashas herher GeorgGeorgeGeorg, &and I’meI’m asas gladglad
on’ton’t, wellwell, gogo thythy waiesways HumphreyHumphrey, forfor aa faire spokenfairefair-spokenfair spoken spoken manman, II
beleeuebelieve thouthou hasthast notnot thythy fellowfellow withinwithin thethe walswalls ofof LondonLondon,
&and II shouldshould saysay thethe SuburbesSuburbs tootoo, II shouldshould notnot lielie, whywhy dostdost
notnot reioycerejoice withwith meme GeorgeGeorge?
Cit.CitizenCit.IfIf II couldcould butbut seesee RaphRafeRaph againeagain, II werewere asas merrymerry asas (minemine HostHost i’faithi’faith.
Hum.HumphreyHum.TheThe causecause youyou seemeseem toto askeask, II thusthus declaredeclare,
HelpeHelp meme ôo MusesMuses ninenine, youryour daughterdaughter sweareswear
AA foolishfoolish oathoath, thethe moremore itit waswas thethe pittypity,
YetYet nonenone butbut my selfemyself withinwithin thisthis CittyCity,
ShallShall daredare toto saysay soso, butbut aa boldbold defiancedefiance
ShallShall meetemeet himhim, werewere hehe ofof thethe noblenoble ScienceScience.
AndAnd yetyet sheshe sweareswear, andand yetyet whywhy diddid sheshe sweareswear?
TruelyTruly II cannotcannot telltell, vnlesseunless itit werewere
ForFor herher owneown easeease, forfor suresure sometimessometimes anan oathoath,
BeingBeing swornesworn thereafterthereafter isis likelike cordiallcordial brothbroth.
AndAnd thisthis itit waswas sheeshe sworeswore, neuernever toto marrymarry,
ButBut suchsuch aa oneone, whosewhose mightymighty armearm couldcould carrycarry
(AsAs meaningmeaning meme, forfor II amam suchsuch aa oneone)
HerHer bodilybodily awayaway throughthrough stickestick andand stonestone,
TillTill bothboth ofof vsus arriuearrive, atat herher requestrequest,
SomeSome tenten milesmiles offoff, inin thethe wildewild WalthamWaltham ForrestForest.
March.MerchantMarch.IfIf thisthis bebe allall, youyou shallshall notnot needneed toto fearefear
AnyAny denialldenial inin youryour louelove, proceedproceed,
I’leI’ll neitherneither followfollow, nornor repentrepent thethe deeddeed.
Hum.HumphreyHum.Good-nightGood-nightGoodnight, twentytwenty good-nightsgood-nights, &and twentytwenty moremore.
AndAnd 20twenty20 moremore good-nightsgood-nights, thatthat makesmakes three-scorethreescore.ExeūtExeūtExeunt.
EnterEnter mistressemistress Mery-thoughtMerrythoughtMery-thought, andand herher sonson MichaelMichael.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.ComeCome MichaelMichael, artart thouthou notnot wearyweary boyboy?
Mich.MichaelMich.NoNo for-soothforsooth mothermother notnot II.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.WhereWhere bebe wewe nownow childchild?

Mich.

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Mich.MichaelMich.IndeedIndeed for-soothforsooth mothermother II cannotcannot telltell, vnlesseunless wewe
bebe atat Mile-endMile endMile-end, isis notnot allall thethe worldworld Mile-endMile endMile-end, MotherMother?
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.NoNo MichaelMichael, notnot alall thethe worldworld boyboy, butbut II cancan assureassure
theethee MichaelMichael, Mile-endMile endMile-end isis aa goodlygoodly mattermatter, therethere hashas benebeen
aa pitch-fieldpitch-field mymy childchild betweenebetween thethe naughtynaughty SpanielsSpaniels andand thethe
English-menEnglishmen, andand thethe SpanielsSpaniels ranran awayaway MichaelMichael, andand thethe Eng-English-menEng∣lish-menEnglishmen
lish-men
followedfollowed, mymy neighbourneighbour CoxstoneCoxstone waswas therethere boyboy, andand
kil’dkilled themthem allall withwith aa birdingbirding peecepiece.Mich.MichaelMich.MotherMother forsoothforsooth.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.WhatWhat saiessays mymy whitewhite boyboy?
Mich.MichaelMich.ShallShall notnot mymy fatherfather gogo withwith vsus tootoo?
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.NoNo MichaelMichael, letlet thythy fatherfather gogo snicke-vpsnick-up, hehe shallshall
neuernever comecome betweenbetween aa pairepair ofof sheetssheets withwith meme againeagain, whilewhile
hehe liueslives, letlet himhim staystay atat homehome &and singsing forfor hishis suppersupper boyboy, comecome
childchild sitsit downedown, andand I’leI’ll shewshow mymy boyboy finefine knacksknacks indeedindeed,
looklook herehere MichaelMichael, here’shere’s aa RingRing, andand here’shere’s BruchBrooch, &and here’shere’s
aa BraceletBracelet, andand here’shere’s twotwo RingsRings moremore, andand here’shere’s monymoney andand
goldgold bi’thbyth’ eieeye mymy boyboy.Mich.MichaelMich.ShallShall II hauehave allall thisthis mothermother?
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.IAyI MichaelMichael thouthou shaltshalt hauehave allall MichaelMichael.
Cit.CitizenCit.HowHow lik’stlik’st thouthou thisthis wenchwench?
WifeWife.II cannotcannot telltell, II wouldwould hauehave RaphRafeRaph, GeorgeGeorge; I’leI’ll seesee nono
moremore elseelseindeed-lawelse indeed-lawindeed-la, &and II praypray youyou letlet thethe youthsyouths vnderstandunderstand
soso muchmuch byby wordword ofof mouthmouth, forfor II telltell youyou truelytruly, I’meI’m afraidafraid
ao’ mymy boyboy, comecome, comecome GeorgeGeorge, let’slet’s bebe merrymerry andand wisewise, thethe
child’schild’s aa father-lessefatherless childchild, andand saysay theythey shouldshould putput himhim intointo
aa streightstraight pairepair ofof GaskinsGaskins, ’twere’twere worseworse thenthan knot-grasseknotgrass,
hehe wouldwould neuernever growgrow afterafter itit.EnterEnter RaphRafeRaph, SquireSquire,
andand DwarfeDwarf.
Cit:CitizenCit:Here’sHere’s RaphRafeRaph, here’shere’s RaphRafeRaph.
WifeWife.HowHow dodo youyou RaphRafeRaph? youyou areare welcomewelcome RaphRafeRaph, asas II maymay
saysay, it’sit’s aa goodgood boyboy, holdhold vpup thythy headhead, andand bebe notnot afraidafraid, wewe
areare thythy friendsfriends RaphRafeRaph, thethe GentlemenGentlemen willwill praisepraise theethee RaphRafeRaph, ifif
thouthou plaistplay’stplayst thythy partpart withwith audacityaudacity, beginbegin RaphRafeRaph ai’a GodsGod’s namename.
Raph.RafeRaph.MyMy trustytrusty SquireSquire vnlaceunlace mymy HelmeHelm, giuegive meeme mymy
hathat, wherewhere areare wewe, oror whatwhat DesartDesert maymay thisthis bebe?
DwarfeDwarf.MirrourMirror ofof Knight-hoodKnighthood, thisthis isis, asas II taketake itit, thethe
perrilousperilous WalthamWaltham downedown, InIn whosewhose bottomebottom standsstands thethe
inchantedenchanted ValleyValley.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.OO MichaelMichael, wewe areare betrai’dbetrayed, wewe areare betraidbetrayed

D2

bee

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herehere bebe GyantsGiants, fliefly boyboy, fliefly boyboy, fliefly.ExeūtExeūtExeunt mothermother &and MichaelMichael.
RafeRafe.LaceLace onon mymy helmehelm againeagain: whatwhat noisenoise isis thisthis?
AA gentlegentle LadieLady flyingflying? thethe imbraceembrace
OfOf somesome vncurteousuncourteous knightknight, II willwill releiuerelieve herher.
GoGo squiresquire, andand saysay, thethe KnightKnight thatthat weareswears thisthis pestlepestle,
InIn honourhonour ofof allall LadiesLadies, swearesswears reuengerevenge
VponUpon thatthat recreantrecreant cowardcoward thatthat pursuespursues herher.
GoGo comfortcomfort herher, andand thatthat samesame gentlegentle squiresquire
ThatThat bearesbears herher companiecompany.SquireSquire.II gogo brauebrave KnightKnight.
RafeRafe.MyMy trustietrusty DwarfeDwarf andand friendfriend, reachreach meme mymy shieldshield,
AndAnd holdhold itit whilewhile II sweareswear: FirstFirst byby mymy knight-hoodknighthood,
ThenThen byby thethe soulesoul ofof AmadisAmadis dede GauleGaul,
MyMy famousfamous AncestorAncestor, thenthen byby mymy swordsword,
TheThe beauteousbeauteous BrionellaBrionella girtgirt aboutabout meme,
ByBy thisthis brightbright burningburning pestlepestle ofof minemine honourhonour,
TheThe liuingliving TrophieTrophy, andand byby allall respectrespect
DueDue toto distresseddistressed DamselsDamsels, herehere II vowvow
NeuerNever toto endend thethe questquest ofof thisthis fairefair LadyLady,
AndAnd thatthat forsakenforsaken squiresquire, tilltill byby mymy valourvalour
II gainegain theirtheir libertyliberty.DwarfDwarf.HeauenHeaven blessebless thethe KnightKnight
ThatThat thusthus relieuesrelieves poorepoor erranterrant GentlewomenGentlewomen.ExitExit.
WifeWife.IAyI marriemarry RafeRafe, thisthis hashas somesome sauoursavour in’tin’t, II wouldwould seesee
thethe proudestproudest ofof themthem allall offeroffer toto carriecarry hishis bookesbooks afterafter himhim.
ButBut GeorgeGeorge, II willwill notnot hauehave himhim gogo awayaway soso soonesoon, II shallshall beebe
sickesick ifif hehe gogo awayaway, thatthat II shallshall; CallCall RafeRafe againeagain GeorgeGeorge, callcall
RafeRafe againeagain, II pre’theeprithee sweetsweet heartheart letlet himhim comecome fightfight beforebefore
meme, andand let’slet’s haha’ somesome drumsdrums, andand somesome trumpetstrumpets, andand letlet himhim
killkill allall thatthat comescomes neerenear himhim, andand thouthou lou’stlov’st meme GeorgeGeorge.
Cit.CitizenCit.PeacePeace aa littlelittle birdbird, heehe shallshall killkill themthem allall andand theythey
werewere twentietwenty moremore onon ’em’em thenthanthen therethere areare.EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper.
Iasp.JasperIasp.NowNow FortuneFortune, ifif thouthou bee’stbeest notnot onelyonly illill,
ShewShow meme thythy betterbetter faceface, andand bringbring aboutabout
ThyThy desperatedesperate wheelewheel, thatthat II maymay climeclimb atat lengthlength
AndAnd standstand, thisthis isis ourour placeplace ofof meetingmeeting,
IfIf louelove hauehave anyany constancieconstancy. OhOhO ageage!
WhereWhere onelyonly wealthywealthy menmen areare countedcounted happiehappy:
HowHow shallshall II pleaseplease theethee? howhow deseruedeserve thythy smilessmiles?

When

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WhenWhen II amam onelyonly richrich inin miserymisery?
MyMy fathersfather’s blessingblessing, andand thisthis littlelittle coinecoin
IsIs mymy inheritanceinheritance, aa strongstrong reuenewrevenue,
FromFrom earthearth thouthou artart, andand toto thethe earthearth II giuegive theethee,
ThereThere growgrow andand multiplymultiply, whilstwhilst fresherfresher aireair,spiesspies thethe
casketcasket.
BreedsBreeds meme aa fresherfresher fortunefortune, howhow, illusionillusion!
WhatWhat hathhath thethe DiuellDevil coin’dcoined himselfehimself beforebefore meme?
’Tis’Tis mettlemettle goodgood, itit ringsrings wellwell, II amam wakingwaking,
AndAnd takingtaking tootoo II hopehope, nownow GodsGod’s deeredear blessingblessing
VponUpon hishis heartheart thatthat leftleft itit herehere, ’tis’tis minemine,
TheseThese pearlespearls, II taketake itit, werewere notnot leftleft forfor swineswine.ExitExit.
VVifeWife.II dodo notnot likelike thatthat thisthis vnthriftyunthrifty youthyouth shouldshould em-embecillem∣becillembezzle
becill
awayaway thethe moneymoney; thethe poorepoor GentlewomanGentlewoman hishis mothermother
willwill hauehave aa heauyheavy heartheart forfor itit GodGod knowesknows.
Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.AndAnd reasonreason goodgood, sweetsweet heartheart.
VVifeWife.ButBut letlet himhim gogo, I’leI’ll telltell RaphRafeRaph aa taletale in’sin’s eareear
shallshall fetchfetch himhim againeagain withwith aa WanionWanion II warrantwarrant himhim, ifif heehe beebe
aboueabove groundground, andand besidesbesides GeorgeGeorge, heerehere areare aa numbernumber ofof
sufficientsufficient GentlemenGentlemen cancan witnessewitness, andand my selfemyself, andand your your selfyourself
self,
andand thethe MusitiansMusicians, ifif wewe bebe cal’dcalled inin questionquestion, butbut herehere
comescomes RaphRafeRaph, GeorgeGeorge, thouthou shaltshalt herehear himhim speakespeak, anan hehe werewere
anan EmperallEmperalemperal.
EnterEnter RafeRafe andand DwarfeDwarf.
Raph.RafeRaph.ComesComes notnot sirsir SquireSquire againeagain?
Dwar.DwarfDwar.RightRight courteouscourteous KnightKnight,
YourYour SquireSquire dothdoth comecome andand withwith himhim comescomes thethe LadyLady,
EnterEnter mistressemistress Merr:MerrMerrythoughtMerr: andand MichaelMichael, andand SquireSquire.
ForFor andand thethe SquireSquire ofof DamselsDamsels asas II taketake itit.
RafeRafe.MadamMadam ifif anyany seruiceservice oror deuoiredevoir
OfOf aa poorepoor erranterrant KnightKnight maymay rightright youryour wrongswrongs,
CommandCommand itit, II amam prestprestpressed toto giuegive youyou succoursuccour,
ForFor toto thatthat holyholy endend II bearebear mymy ArmourArmour,
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.AlasAlas sirsir, II amam aa poorepoor GentlewomanGentlewoman, andand II
hauehave lostlost mymy moniemoney inin thisthis forrestforest.
RafeRafe.DesartDesert, youyou wouldwould saysay LadyLady, andand notnot lostlost
WhilstWhilst II hauehave swordsword andand launcelance, drydry vpup youryour tearestears
WhichWhich illill befitsbefits thethe beautybeauty ofof thatthat faceface:

D3

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

AndAnd telltell thethe storiestory, ifif II maymay requestrequest itit,
OfOf youryour disasterousdisastrous fortunefortune.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.OutOut alasalas, II leftleft aa thousandthousand poundpound, aa thousandthousand
poundpound, e’nee’en allall thethe moniemoney II hadhad laidlaid vpup forfor thisthis youthyouth, vponupon
thethe sightsight ofof youryour MaistershipMastership, youyou looktlooked soso grimgrim, andand asas II
maymay saysay itit, sauingsaving youryour presencepresence, moremore likelike aa GiantGiant thenthan aa
mortallmortal manman.
RafeRafe.II amam asas youyou areare LadieLady, soso areare theythey
AllAll mortallmortal, butbut whywhy weepesweeps thisthis gentlegentle SquireSquire.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.HasHas heehe notnot causecause toto weepeweep doedo youyou thinkethink,
whenwhen hehe hathhath lostlost hishis inheritanceinheritance?
RafeRafe.YongYoung hopehope ofof valourvalour, weepeweep notnot, II amam herehere
ThatThat willwill confoundconfound thythy foefoe andand paiepay itit deeredear
VponUpon hishis cowardcoward headhead, thatthat daresdares deniedeny,
DistressedDistressed SquiresSquires andand LadiesLady’slady’s equitieequity.
II hauehave butbut oneone horsehorse, onon whichwhich shallshall rideride
ThisThis LadieLady fairefair behindbehind meme, andand beforebefore
ThisThis courteouscourteous SquireSquire, fortunefortune willwill giuegive vsus moremore
VponUpon ourour nextnext aduentureadventure; faireliefairly speedspeed
BesideBeside vsus SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf toto dodo vsus needneed.ExeuntExeunt.
Cit.CitizenCit.DidDid notnot II telltell youyou NelNell whatwhat youryour manman wouldwould doedo?
byby thethe faithsaithfaith ofof mymy bodiebody wenchwench, forfor cleaneclean actionaction andand goodgood
deliueriedelivery theythey maymay allall castcast theirtheir capscaps atat himhim.
WifeWife.AndAnd soso theythey maymay i’faithi’faith, forfor II daredare speakespeak itit boldlyboldly,
thethe tweluetwelve CompaniesCompanies ofof LondonLondon cannotcannot matchmatch himhim, timbertimber
forfor timbertimber, wellwell GeorgeGeorge, andand heehe bebe notnot inueigledinveigled byby somesome ofof
thesethese paltriepaltry PlaiersPlayers, II haha’ muchmuch maruellmarvel, butbut GeorgeGeorge weewe haha’
donedone ourour partsparts ifif thethe boyboy hauehave anyany gracegrace toto bebe thankefullthankful.
Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.YesYes II warrantwarrant theethee ducklingduckling.
EnterEnter HumphreyHumphrey andand LuceLuce.
Hum.HumphreyHum.GoodGood MistresseMistress LuceLuce how euerhowever II inin faultfault amam
ForFor youryour lamelame horsehorse; you’reyou’re welcomewelcome vntounto VValthamWaltham.
ButBut whichwhich wayway nownow toto gogo oror whatwhat toto saiesay
II knowknow notnot truelytruly tilltill itit bebe broadbroad daieday.
Luce.Luce.OO fearefear notnot MaisterMaster HumphreyHumphrey, II amam guideguide
ForFor thisthis placeplace goodgood enoughenough.Hum.HumphreyHum.ThenThen vpup andand rideride,
OrOr ifif itit pleaseplease youyou walkewalk forfor youryour reposerepose,

Or

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

OrOr sitsit, oror ifif youyou willwill gogo pluckepluck aa roserose:
EitherEither ofof whichwhich shallshall bebe indifferentindifferent,
ToTo youryour goodgood friendfriend andand HumphreyHumphrey, whosewhose consentconsent
IsIs soso entangledentangled euerever toto youryour willwill,
AsAs thethe poorepoor harmelesseharmless horsehorse isis toto thethe MillMill.
Luce.Luce.FaithFaith andand youyou saysay thethe wordword we’lewe’ll e’nee’en sitsit downedown
AndAnd taketake aa napnap.Hum.HumphreyHum.’Tis’Tis betterbetter inin thethe TowneTown,
WhereWhere wewe maymay napnap togethertogether, forfor beleeuebelieve meme
ToTo sleepesleep withoutwithout aa snatchsnatch wouldwould micklemickle grieuegrieve meme.
Luce.Luce.You’reYou’re merriemerry MaisterMaster HumphreyHumphrey.Hum.Hum,HumphreyHum,SoSo II amam,
AndAnd hauehave benebeen euerever merriemerry fromfrom mymy DamDam.
Luce.Luce.YourYour nurcenurse hadhad thethe lesseless labourlabour.
Hum.HumphreyHum.FaithFaith itit maymay beebe,
VnlesseUnless itit werewere byby chancechance II diddid beraybewray meeme.EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper.
Iasp.JasperIasp.LuceLuce deeredear friendfriend LuceLuce.Luce.Luce.HeereHere IasperJasperjasper.
Iasp.JasperIasp.YouYou areare minemine.
Hum.HumphreyHum.IfIf itit bebe soso, mymy friendfriend, youyou vseuse meme finefine,
WhatWhat dodo youyou thinkethink II amam?Iasp.JasperIasp.AnAn arrantarrant noddienoddy
Hum.HumphreyHum.AA wordword ofof obloquieobloquy, nownow byby GodsGod’s bodiebody,
I’leI’ll telltell thythy maistermaster forfor II knowknow theethee wellwell.
Iasp.JasperIasp.NayNay, andand youyou bebe soso forwardforward forfor toto telltell,
TakeTake thatthat, andand thatthat, andand telltell himhim sirsir II gauegave itit,
AndAnd saiesay II paidpaid youyou wellwell.Hum.HumphreyHum.OO sirsir II hauehave itit,
AndAnd dodo confesseconfess thethe paiementpayment, praiepray bebe quietquiet.
Iasp.JasperIasp.GoGo, getget toto youryour night-capnightcap andand thethe dietdiet,
ToTo curecure youryour beatenbeaten bonesbones.Luce.Luce.AlasAlas poorepoor HumphrieHumphrey
GetGet theethee somesome wholsomewholesome brothbroth withwith sagesage andand comfriecomfry:
AA littlelittle oileoil ofof RosesRoses andand aa featherfeather,
ToTo noint’noint thythy backeback withallwithal.Hum.HumphreyHum.WhenWhen II camecame hetherhither,
WouldWould II hadhad gonegone toto ParisParis withwith IohnJohnjohn DorrieDorrie.
Luce.Luce.Fare-wellFarewell mymy prettiepretty NumpNump, II amam verievery sorriesorry
II cannotcannot bearebear theethee companiecompany.Hum.HumphreyHum.Fare-wellFarewell,
TheThe DiuelsDevil’sdevil’s DamDam waswas ne’rene’ernever soso bang’dbanged inin hellhell.ExeuntExeunt.
manetmanet HumphreyHumphrey.
VVifeWife.ThisThis yongyoung IasperJasperjasper willwill proueprove meme anotheranother ThingsThings, ao’a
mymy conscienceconscience andand hehe maymay bebe sufferedsuffered; GeorgeGeorge, dostdost notnot seesee
GeorgeGeorge howhow a’a swaggersswaggers, andand fliesflies atat thethe veryvery headsheads ao’a fokesfolksfokes asas

hee

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

hehe werewere aa DragōDragōDragon; wellwell ifif II dodo notnot dodo hishis lessonlesson forfor wrongingwronging
thethe poorepoor GentlemanGentleman, II amam nono truetrue womanwoman, hishis friendsfriends thatthat
broughtbrought himhim vpup mightmight hauehave benebeen betterbetter occupiedoccupied, I wisIIwisI wis wis,
thenthanthen haha’ taughttaught himhim thesethese fegariesfegaries, hee’she’s e’nee’en inin thethe high-wayhighway
toto thethe gallowsgallows, GodGod blessebless himhim.
Cit.CitizenCit.You’reYou’re tootoo bitterbitter, connycunnyconny, thethe yongyoung manman maymay dodo welwell
enoughenough forfor allall thisthis.
VVifeWife.ComeCome hitherhither MaisterMaster HumfreyHumphrey, hashas heehe hurthurt youyou?
nownow beshrewbeshrew hishis fingersfingers for’tfor’t, herehere sweetsweet heartheart, here’shere’s somesome
greenegreen gingerginger forfor theethee, nownow beshrewbeshrew mymy heartheart butbut a’aa hashas pep-pepper-nelpep∣per-nelpeppernel
per-nel
in’sin’s headhead, asas bigbig asas aa pulletspullet’s eggeegg, alasalas sweetesweet lamblamb,
howhow thythy TempelsTemplestemples beatebeat; taketake thethe peacepeace onon himhim sweetesweet heartheart,
taketake thethe peacepeace onon himhim.EnterEnter aa boyboy.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo, nono, youyou talketalk likelike aa foolishfoolish womanwoman, I’leI’ll haha’ RaphRafeRaph
fightfight withwith himhim, andand swingswing himhim vpup welfauourdliewell-favouredly, sirrahsirrah boieboy
comecome hitherhither, letlet RaphRafeRaph comecome inin andand fightfight withwith IasperJasperjasper.
VVifeWife.IAyay, andand beatebeat himhim wellwell, he’she’s anan vnhappyunhappy boyboy.
BoyBoy.SirSir youyou mustmust pardonpardon vsus, thethe plotplot ofof ourour PlaiePlay lieslies
contrariecontrary, andand ’twill’twill hazardhazard thethe spoilingspoiling ofof ourour PlaiePlay.
Cit.CitizenCit.PlotPlot meeme nono plotsplots, I’leI’ll haha’ RaphRafeRaph comecome outout, I’leI’ll makemake
youryour househouse tootoo hothot forfor youyou elseelse.
BoyBoy.WhyWhy sirsir hehe shallshall, butbut ifif anieany thingthing fallfall outout ofof orderorder,
thethe GentlemenGentlemen mustmust pardonpardon vsus.
Cit.CitizenCit.GoGo youryour waiesways good-mangoodman boieboy, I’leI’ll holdhold himhim aa pen-penniepen∣niepenny
nie
heehe shallshall hauehave hishis bellie-fullbellyful ofof fightingfighting nownow, hoho heerehere
comescomes RaphRafeRaph, nono moremore.
EnterEnter RaphRafeRaph, mistressemistress Merri:MerriMerrythoughtMerri: MichaelMichael, SquireSquire, andand DwarfeDwarf.
Raph.RafeRaph.WhatWhat KnightKnight isis thatthat SquireSquire, askeask himhim ifif hehe keepkeep
TheThe passagepassage, boundbound byby louelove ofof LadieLady fairefair,
OrOr elseelse butbut prickantprickant.Hum.HumphreyHum.SirSir II amam nono KnightKnight,
ButBut aa poorepoor GentlemanGentleman, thatthat thisthis samesame nightnight,
HadHad stolnestol’nstolen fromfrom meme onon yonderyonder GreeneGreen,
MyMy louelielovely wifewife, andand sufferedsuffered toto bebe seeneseen
YetYet extantextant onon mymy shouldersshoulders suchsuch aa greetinggreeting,
ThatThat whilstwhilst II liuelive, II shallshall thinkethink ofof thatthat meetingmeeting.
VVifeWife.IAyI RaphRafeRaph heehe beatebeat himhim vnmercifullyunmercifully, RaphRafeRaph, andand thouthou
spar’stspar’stsparest himhim RaphRafeRaph II wouldwould thouthou wertwert hang’dhanged.

Cit.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo moremore, wifewife nono moremore.
RafeRafe.WhereWhere isis thethe caitifecaitiff wretchwretch hathhath donedone thisthis deeddeed.
LadyLady youryour pardonpardon, thatthat II maymay proceedproceed
VponUpon thethe questquest ofof thisthis iniuriousinjurious KnightKnight.
AndAnd thouthou fairefair SquireSquire reputerepute meme notnot thethe worseworse,
InIn leauingleaving thethe greatgreat ventureventure ofof thethe pursepurse,EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper
andand LuceLuce.
AndAnd thethe richrich casketcasket tilltill somesome betterbetter leasureleisure,
Hum.HumphreyHum.HereHere comescomes thethe BrokerBroker hathhath purloin’dpurloined mymy treasuretreasure.
Raph.RafeRaph.GoGo, SquireSquire, andand telltell himhim II amam herehere,
AnAn ErrantErrant KnightKnight atat ArmesArms, toto crauecrave deliuerydelivery
OfOf thatthat fairefair LadyLady toto herher owneown KnightsKnight’sKnights armesarms.
IfIf hehe denydeny, bidbid himhim taketake choicechoice ofof groundground,
AndAnd soso defyedefy himhim.SquireSquire.FromFrom thethe KnightKnight thatthat bearesbears
TheThe goldengolden PestlePestle, II defiedefy theethee KnightKnight.
VnlesseUnless thouthou makemake fairefair restitutionrestitution.
OfOf thatthat brightbright LadyLady.
Iasp.JasperIasp.TellTell thethe KnightKnight thatthat sentsent theethee
HeeHe isis anan AsseAss, andand II willwill keepekeep thethe wenchwench
AndAnd knockeknock hishis Head-peeceHeadpiecehead-piece.
Raph.RafeRaph.KnightKnight, thouthou artart butbut deaddead,
IfIf thouthou thou thou recallrecall notnot thythy vncurteousuncourteous tearmesterms.
VVifeWife.Breake’sBreak ’sBreak’s patepate RaphRafeRaph, breake’sbreak ’sbreak’s patepate RaphRafeRaph, soundlysoundly.
IasperJasperjasper.ComeCome KnightKnight, II amam readyready forfor youyou, nownow youryour PestelPestlepestle
SnatchesSnatches awayaway hishis PestlePestle.
ShallShall trytry whatwhat tempertemper, sirsir, youryour MortersMortar’sMortars offofoff
WithWith thatthat hehe stoodstood vprightupright inin hishis stirropsstirrups,
AndAnd gauegave thethe KnightKnight ofof thethe Calue-skinneCalfskincalf-skin suchsuch aa knockeknock,
ThatThat hehe forsookeforsook hishis horsehorse andand downedown hehe fellfell,
AndAnd thenthen hehe leapedleapt vponupon himhim andand pluckingplucking ofof hishis HelmetHelmet.
Hum.HumphreyHum.NayNay, andand mymy noblenoble KnightKnight bebe downedown soso soonesoon,
ThoughThough II cancan scarelyscarely gogo II needsneeds mustmust runnerun.
ExitExit HumpheryHumphreyHumphery andand Raph.RafeRaph.
VVifeWife.RunneRun RaphRafeRaph, runnerun RaphRafeRaph, runnerun forfor thythy lifelife boyboy,
IasperJasperjasper comescomes, IasperJasperjasper comescomes.
IasperJasperjasper.ComeCome LuceLuce, wewe mustmust hauehave otherother ArmesArms forfor youyou,
HumpheryHumphrey andand GoldenGolden PestlePestle bothboth adiewadieu.ExeuntExeunt.
VVifeWife.SureSure thethe diuelldevil, GodGod blessebless vsus, isis inin thisthis SpringaldSpringaldspringal,

E

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

whywhy GeorgeGeorge, didstdidst euerever seesee suchsuch aa fire-drakefire-drake, II amam afraidafraid mymy
boie’sboy’s miscariedmiscarried, ifif hehe bebe, thoughthough heehe werewere MaisterMaster Mery-Mery∣thoughtsMerrythought’smerry-thoughts
thoughts
sonneson aa thousandthousand timestimes, ifif therethere beebe anyany LawLaw inin
EnglandEngland I’leI’ll makemake somesome ofof themthem smartsmart for’tfor’t.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo, nono, II hauehave foundfound outout thethe mattermatter sweete-heartsweetheart,
IasperJasperjasper isis inchantedenchanted, asas suresure asas wewe areare heerehere, hehe isis inchantedenchanted, hehe
couldcould nono moremore hauehave stoodstood inin Raph’sRafe’sRaph’s handshands, thenthan II cancan standstand
inin mymy LordLord MaiorsMayor’sMajors, I’leI’ll hauehave aa ringring toto discouerdiscover allall inchant-inchantmentsinchant∣mentsenchantments
ments,
andand RaphRafeRaph shallshall beatebeat himhim yetyet: bebe nono moremore vextvexed forfor
itit shallshall bebe soso.
EnterEnter RaphRafeRaph, SquireSquire, DwarfeDwarf, mistressemistress Mery-thoughtMerrythoughtMery-thought
andand MichaellMichael.
WifeWife.OO husbandhusband heere’shere’s RaphRafeRaph againeagain, staystay RaphRafeRaph letlet meeme
speakespeak withwith theethee, howhow dostdost thouthou RaphRafeRaph? artart thouthou notnot shrod-shrodlyshrod∣lyshrewdly
ly
hurthurt? thethe soulefoulsoul greatgreat LungeisLungeLungeisLungiesLung is is laidlaid vnmercifullyunmercifully onon theethee,
there’sthere’s somesome suger-candysugar-candy forfor theethee, proceedproceed, thouthou shaltshalt hauehave
anotheranother boutbout withwith himhim.
Cit.CitizenCit.IfIf RaphRafeRaph hadhad himhim atat thethe Fencing-schooleFencing-school, ifif heehe diddid
notnot makemake aa puppypuppy ofof himhim, andand driuedrive himhim vpup andand downedown thethe
schooleschool hehe shouldshould nerene’er comecome inin mymy shopshop moremore.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.TruelyTruly MaisterMaster KnightKnight ofof thethe BurningBurning PestlePestle II
amam wearyweary.
Mich.MichaelMich.IndeedIndeed lawla mothermother andand II amam veryvery hungryhungry.
Raph.RafeRaph.TakeTake comfortcomfort gentlegentle DameDame, andand youyou fairefair SquireSquire,
ForFor inin thisthis DesartDesert therethere mustmust needsneeds bebe plac’tplaced,
ManyMany strongstrong CastlesCastles, heldheld byby curteouscourteous KnightsKnights,
AndAnd tilltill II bringbring youyou safesafe toto oneone ofof thosethose,
IIsIIs sweareweareswearwear byby thisthis mymy OrderOrder nerene’er toto leaueleave youyou.
WifeWife.WellWell saidsaid RaphRafeRaph, GeorgeGeorge, RaphRafeRaph waswas euerever comforta-comfortablecomforta∣blecomfortable
ble,
waswas hehe notnot?Cit.CitizenCit.YesYes DuckeDuck.
WifeWife.II shallshall nerene’er forgetforget himhim, whenwhen weewe hadhad lostlost ourour
childchild, youyou knowknow, itit waswas straidstrayed almostalmost, alonealone, toto Puddle-wharfePuddle-wharf
andand thethe CriersCriers werewere abroadabroad forfor itit, andand therethere itit hadhad drown’ddrowned
it selfeitself butbut forfor aa ScullerSculler, RaphRafeRaph waswas thethe mostmost comfortablestcomfortablest toto
meme: peacepeace MistresseMistress, saiessays hehe, letlet itit gogo, I’leI’ll getget youyou anotheranother asas
goodgood, diddid hehe notnot GeorgeGeorge? diddid hehe notnot saysay soso?
Cit.CitizenCit.YesYes indeedindeed diddid hehe mousemouse.

Dwarfe.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

DwarfeDwarf.II wouldwould wewe hadhad aa messemess ofof PottagePottage, andand aa potpot
ofof drinkedrink, SquireSquire, andand werewere goinggoing toto bedbed.
SquireSquire.WhyWhy wewe areare atat WalthamWaltham TownesTown’sTowns endend, andand that’sthat’s
thethe BellBell InneInn.
DwarfeDwarf.TakeTake couragecourage valiantvaliant KnightKnight, DamselDamsel, &and SquireSquire
II hauehave discouereddiscovered, notnot aa stonesstone’s castcast offoff,
AnAn ancientancient CastleCastle heldheld byby thethe oldold KnightKnight
OfOf thethe mostmost holyholy orderorder ofof thethe BellBell,
WhoWho giuesgives toto allall KnightsKnights erranterrant entertaineentertain:
ThereThere plentyplenty isis ofof foodfood, andand allall prepar’dprepared,
ByBy thethe whitewhite handshands ofof hishis owneown LadyLady deeredear.
HeHe hathhath threethree SquiresSquires thatthat welcomewelcome allall hishis GuestsGuests.
TheThe firstfirst highhigh ChamberlinoChamberlino, whowho willwill seesee
OurOur bedsbeds prepar’dprepared, andand bringbring vsus snowysnowy sheetessheets,
WhereWhere neuernever foote-manfootman stretch’dstretched hishis butter’dbuttered HamsHams.
TheThe secondsecond highthight TasteroTapsteroTastero, whowho willwill seesee
OurOur potspots fullfull filledfilled andand nono frothfroth thereintherein.
TheThe thirdthird aa gentlegentle SquireSquire OstleroOstlero highthight,
WhoWho willwill ourour PalfriesPalfreys slickeslick withwith wispswisps ofof strawstraw,
AndAnd inin thethe MaungerManger putput themthem OatesOats enoughenough,
AndAnd neuernever greasegrease theirtheir teethteeth withwith candlecandle snuffesnuff.
VVifeWife.ThatThat samesame Dwarfe’sDwarf’s aa prettypretty boyboy, butbut thethe Squire’sSquire’s
aa grout-nolegroutnolgrout-nole.
Raph.RafeRaph.KnockeKnock atat thethe GatesGates mymy SquireSquire withwith statelystately
launcelance.EnterEnter TapsterTapster.
Tap.TapsterTap.Who’sWho’s therethere, you’reyou’re welcomewelcome GentlemenGentlemen, willwill youyou
seesee aa roomeroom?
DwarfeDwarf.RightRight curteouscourteous andand valiantvaliant KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning (PestlePestle,
ThisThis isis thethe SquireSquire TapsteroTapstero.
Raph.RafeRaph.FaireFair SquireSquire TapsteroTapstero, II aa wandringwand’ring KnightKnight,
HightHight ofof thethe burningburning PestlePestle, inin thethe questquest
OfOf thisthis fairefair LadiesLadie’sLadies CasketCasket, andand wroughtwrought pursepurse,
LoosingLosing my selfemyself inin thisthis vastvast WildernesseWilderness
AmAm toto thisthis CastleCastle wellwell byby fortunefortune broughtbrought,
WhereWhere hearinghearing ofof thethe goodlygoodly entertaineentertain
YourYour KnightKnight ofof holyholy OrderOrder ofof thethe BellBell
GiuesGives toto allall DamselsDamsels, andand allall erranterrant KnightsKnights,

E2

I

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

II thoughtthought toto knockeknock, andand nownow amam boldbold toto enterenter.
TapsterTapster.An’tAn’t pleaseplease youyou seesee aa chamberchamber, youyou areare veryvery
welcomewelcome.ExeuntExeunt.
VVifeWife.GeorgeGeorge II wouldwould hauehave somethingsomething donedone, andand II can-cannotcan∣notcannot
not
telltell whatwhat itit isis.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhatWhat isis itit NelNell?
WifeWife.WhyWhy GeorgeGeorge, shallshall RaphRafeRaph beatebeat no bodynobody againeagain? pre-pretheepre∣theeprithee
thee
sweete-heartsweetheart letlet himhim.
Cit.CitizenCit.SoSo hehe shallshall NelNell, andand ifif II ioynejoin withwith himhim, wee’lewe’ll
knockeknock themthem allall.
EnterEnter HumpheryHumphreyHumphery andand MerchantMerchant.
WifeWife.OO GeorgeGeorge here’shere’s maistermaster HumpheryHumphrey againeagain nownow, thatthat
lostlost MistresseMistress LuceLuce, andand MistresseMistress LuciesLucy’s fatherfather, MaisterMaster Hum-HumpheryHum∣pheryHumphrey
phery
willwill dodo some-bodiessomebody’s erranterranderrant II warrantwarrant himhim.
Humf.HumphreyHumf.FatherFather, it’sit’s truetrue, inin armesarms II nerene’er shallshall claspeclasp herher,
ForFor sheeshe isis stolnestol’nstolen awayaway byby youryour manman IasperJasperjasper.
VVifeWife.II thoughtthought hehe wouldwould telltell himhim.
March.MerchantMarch.VnhappyUnhappy thatthat II amam toto looselose mymy childchild,
NowNow II beginnebegin toto thinkethink onon IaspersJasper’sjasper’s wordswords,
WhoWho oftoft hathhath vrg’durged toto meme thythy foolishnessefoolishness,
WhyWhy didstdidst thouthou letlet herher gogo? thouthou loustlov’st herher notnot,
ThatThat wouldstwouldst bringbring homehome thythy lifelife, andand notnot bringbring herher.
Hum.HumphreyHum.FatherFather forgiueforgive meme, shallshall II telltell youyou truetrue,
LookeLook onon mymy shouldersshoulders theythey areare blackeblack andand blewblue.
WhilstWhilst tooto andand frofro fairefair LuceLuce andand II werewere windingwinding,
HeeHe camecame andand bastedbasted meme withwith aa hedge bindinghedgehedge-bindinghedge binding binding.
March.MerchantMarch.GetGet menmen andand horseshorses straightstraight, wewe willwill bebe therethere
WithinWithin thisthis hourehour, youyou knowknow thethe placeplace againeagain.
Hum.HumphreyHum.II knowknow thethe placeplace, wherewhere hehe mymy loinesloins diddid swaddleswaddle,
I’leI’ll getget sixsix horseshorses, andand toto eacheach aa saddlesaddle.
Mar.MerchantMar.Mean timeMeaneMeantimeMean time time I’leI’ll gogo talketalk withwith IaspersJasper’sjasper’s fatherfather.ExeuntExeunt.
VVifeWife.GeorgeGeorge, whatwhat wiltwilt thouthou layelay withwith meeme nownow, thatthat
MaisterMaster HumpheryHumphrey hashas notnot MistresseMistress LuceLuce yetyet, speakespeak GeorgeGeorge,
whatwhat wiltwilt thouthou laielay withwith meme?
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo NelNell, II warrantwarrant theethee IasperJasperjasper isis atat PuckeridgePuckeridgePuckridge withwith
herher, byby thisthis.
VVifeWife.NayNay GeorgeGeorge, youyou mustmust considerconsider MistresseMistress LuciesLucy’s

feete

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

feetefeet areare tendertender, andand, besidesbesides, ’tis’tis darkedark, andand II promisepromise youyou
tuelytruly, II doedo notnot seesee howhow heehe shouldshould getget outout ofof Wa[····]mWalthamWa●●●imWaltham
forrestforest withwith herher yetyet.
Cit.CitizenCit.NayNay CunnyCunnyconey, whatwhat wiltwilt thouthou laielay withwith meme thatthat RaphRafeRaph
hashas herher notnot yetyet.
VVifeWife.II willwill notnot laylay againstagainst RaphRafeRaph hunnyhoney, becausebecause II hauehave
notnot spokenspoken withwith himhim, butbut lookelook GeorgeGeorge, peacepeace, heerehere comescomes
thethe merrymerry oldold GentlemanGentleman againeagain.
EnterEnter oldold Merrie-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.WhenWhen itit waswas grownegrown toto darkedark midnightmidnight,
AndAnd allall werewere fastfast asleepeasleep,
InIn camecame MargaretsMargaret’s grimelygrimely GhostGhost,
AndAnd stoodstood atat VVilliamsWilliam’s feetefeet.
II hauehave monymoney, andand meatemeat andand drinkedrink before handbeforebeforehandbefore hand hand, tilltill to to morrowtomorrow
morrow
atat noonenoon, whywhy shouldshould II bebe sadsad? mee thinkesmethinks II hauehave
halfehalf aa dozendozen IouiallJovialjovial spiritsspirits withinwithin meeme, II amam threethree merrymerry
menmen, andand threethree merrymerry menmen, ToTo whatwhat endend shouldshould anyany manman bebe
sadsad inin thisthis worldworld? giuegive meme aa manman thatthat whenwhen heehe goesgoes toto han-hanginghan∣ginghanging
ging
criescries, trouletroll thethe blackeblack bowlebowl toto meeme: andand aa woemanwoman
thatthat willwill singsing aa cathcatchcath inin herher TrauellTravailTravel. II hauehave seeneseen aa manman comecome
byby mymy doredoor, withwith aa seriousserious faceface, inin aa blackeblack cloakecloak, withoutwithout aa
hat-bandhatband, carryingcarrying hishis headhead asas ifif heehe looktlooked forfor pinnespins inin thethe
streetestreet, II hauehave looktlooked outout ofof mymy windowwindow halfehalf aa yeareyear afterafter,
andand hauehave spidespied thatthat mansman’s headhead vponupon London-bridgeLondon bridgeLondon-bridge: ’tis’tis vilevile,
neuernever trusttrust aa TailorTailor thatthat doesdoes notnot singsing atat hishis workework, hishis mindmind
isis ofof nothingnothing butbut filchingfilching.
VVifeWife.MarkeMark thisthis GeorgeGeorge, tis’tis worthworth notingnoting: GodfrryGodfrey mymy
TailorTailor, youyou knowknow, neuernever singssings, andand heehe hadhad foureteenefourteen
yardsyards toto makemake thisthis GowneGown, andand I’leI’ll bebe swornesworn MistresseMistress Pen-PennistonePen∣nistonePennistone
nistone
thethe DrapersDraper’sdraper’s wifewife hadhad oneone mademade withwith tweluetwelve.
OldOld mer:menmerrythoughtmen:’Tis’Tis mirthmirth thatthat filsfills thethe veinesveins withwith bloudblood,
MoreMore thenthan winewine, oror sleepesleep, oror foodfood.
LetLet eacheach manman keepekeep hishis heartheart atat easeease,
NoNo manman diesdies ofof thatthat diseasedisease.
HeHe thatthat wouldwould hishis bodybody keepekeep
FromFrom diseasesdiseases, mustmust notnot weepeweep,
ButBut who euerwhoever laugheslaughs andand singssings,

E3

Neuer

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

NeuerNever hehe hishis bodybody bringsbrings
IntoInto feuersfevers, goutsgouts, oror rhumesrheums,
OrOr lingringlyling’ringlylingeringly hishis longslungslongs consumesconsumes:
OrOr meetsmeets withwith achesaches inin thethe bonebone,
OrOr CatharhesCatarrhscatarrhs, oror gripinggriping stonestone:
ButBut contentedcontented liueslives forfor ayeaye,
TheThe moremore hehe laugheslaughs, thethe moremore hehe maymay.
WifeWife.LookeLook GeorgeGeorge, howhow saistsaystsayest thouthou byby thisthis GeorgeGeorge? is’tis’t notnot
aa finefine oldold manman? NowNow GodsGod’s blessingblessing a’thyo’thya’thy sweetsweet lipslips. WhenWhen
wiltwilt thouthou bebe soso merrymerry GeorgeGeorge? FaithFaith thouthou artart thethe frowningstfrowning’stfrowningst
littlelittle thingthing whenwhen thouthou artart angryangry, inin aa CountreyCountry.
EnterEnter MerchantMerchant.
Cit.CitizenCit.PeacePeace ConeyCunnyConey, thouthou shaltshalt seesee himhim takentaken downedown tootoo II
warrantwarrant theethee; here’shere’s LucesLuce’s fatherfather comecome nownow.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.AsAs youyou camecame fromfrom WalsinghamWalsingham, frōfrōfrom thatthat holyholy landland,
therethere metmet youyou notnot withwith mymy tru-louetruelove byby thethe wayway asas youyou camecame
March.MerchantMarch.OhOhO MaisterMaster Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought! mymy daughter’sdaughter’s gonegone.
ThisThis mirthmirth becomesbecomes youyou notnot, mymy daughtersdaughter’sdaughters gonegone.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.WhyWhy anan ifif sheshe bebe, whatwhat carecare II?
OrOr letlet herher comecome oror gogo, oror tarrytarry.
March.MerchantMarch.MockeMock notnot mymy miserymisery, itit isis youryour sonneson,
WhomWhom II hauehave mademade mymy owneown, whenwhen allall forsookeforsook himhim,
HasHas stolnestol’nstolen mymy onelyonly ioyjoy, mymy childechild awayaway.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.HeHe setset herher onon aa milk-whitemilk-white steedsteed, &and himselfehimself vpōvpōupon aa (graygrey,
HeHe neuernever turn’dturned hishis faceface againeagain, butbut hehe borebore herher quitequite awayaway.
March.MerchantMarch.VnworthyUnworthy ofof thethe kindnessekindness II hauehave shewnshown
ToTo theethee, andand thinethine: tootoo latelate II wellwell perceiueperceive
ThouThou artart consentingconsenting toto mymy daughtersdaughter’s losseloss.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.YourYour daughterdaughter, whatwhat aa stur’sstir’s herehere weewi’we yeryouryear daugh-daughterdaugh∣terdaughter
ter?
LetLet herher goego, thinkethink nono moremore onon herher, butbut singsing lowdloud. IfIf
bothboth mymy sonssons werewere onon thethe gallowsgallows, II wouldwould singsing, downedown, downdown,
downedown: theythey fallfall downedown, andand arisearise theythey neuernever shallshall.
March.MerchantMarch.OhOhO mightmight II beholdbehold herher onceonce againeagain,
AndAnd sheshe onceonce moremore embraceembrace herher agedaged siresire.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.FieFie, howhow scuruilyscurvily thisthis goesgoes: andand sheshe onceonce moremore
imbraceembrace herher agedaged siresire? you’lyou’ll makemake aa doggedog onon herher, willwill yeeye?
sheshe carescares muchmuch forfor herher agedaged siresire II warrantwarrant youyou.

She

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

SheShe carescares carescares notnot forfor herher daddydaddy, nornor sheeshe carescares notnot forfor herher
 mammiemammy,
ForFor sheshe isis, sheshe isis, sheshe isis, sheshe isis mymy LordLord ofof Low-gauesLowgave’slow-gaves’ LassieLassie.
March.MerchantMarch.ForFor thisthis thythy scornescorn, II willwill pursuepursue
ThatThat sonneson ofof thinethine toto deathdeath.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.DoDo, andand whenwhen youyou haha’ kildkilled himhim,
GiueGive himhim flowersflowers i’nowenowenough PalmerPalmer: giuegive himhim flowersflowers i’nowenowenough,
GiueGive himhim redred, andand whitewhite, andand blewblue, greenegreen, andand yellowyellow.
March.MerchantMarch.Il’eI’ll fetchfetch mymy daughterdaughter.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.Il’eI’ll hearehear nono moremore ao’a youryour daughterdaughter, itit spoylesspoils
mymy mirthmirth.
March.MerchantMarch.II saysay Il’eI’ll fetchfetch mymy daughterdaughter.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.WasWas neuernever manman forfor LadiesLady’sladies’ sakesake, downedown, downedown,
TormentedTormented asas II poorepoor sirsir GuyGuy? dede derryderry downedown,
ForFor LuciesLucy’s sakesake, thatthat LadyLady brightbright, downedown, downedown,
AsAs euerever menmen beheldbeheld withwith eyeeye? dede derryderry downedown.
March.MerchantMarch.Il’eI’ll bebe reueng’drevenged byby heauenheaven.ExeuntExeunt.
MusickeMusic.FinisFinis ActusActus secundisecundi.

WifeWife.HowHow do’stdost thouthou likelike thisthis GeorgeGeorge?
Cit.CitizenCit.WhyWhy thisthis isis wellwell coneycunnyconey: butbut ifif RaphRafeRaph werewere hothot onceonce,
thouthou shouldstshouldst seesee moremore.
WifeWife.TheThe FidlersFiddlers gogo againeagain husbandhusband.
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyI NellNell, butbut thisthis isis scuruyscurvy musickemusic: II gauegave thethe whore-whoresonwhore∣sonwhoreson
son
gallowesgallows moneymoney, andand II thinkethink heehe hashas notnot gotgot meeme thethe
waitswaits ofof South-warkeSouthwark, ifif II hearehear himhim notnot anananon, Il’eI’ll twingetwinge
himhim byby thethe earesears. YouYou MusiciansMusicians, playplay BalooBaloo.
WifeWife.NoNo goodgood GeorgeGeorge, letslet’s haha’ LachrimæLachrimaeLachrymaeLachrimae.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhyWhy thisthis isis itit conycunnyconey.
WifeWife.It’sIt’s allall thethe betterbetter GeorgeGeorge: nownow sweetsweet lambelamb, whatwhat
storystory isis thatthat paintedpainted vponupon thethe clothcloth? thethe confutationconfutation ofof SaintSaint
PaulPaul?
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo lambelamb, that’sthat’s RaphRafeRaph andand LucreceLucrece.
WifeWife.RaphRafeRaph andand LucreceLucrece? whichwhich RaphRafeRaph? ourour RaphRafeRaph?
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo mousemouse, thatthat waswas aa TartarianTartarian.
WifeWife.AA TartarianTartarian? wellwell, I’woodI would thethe fidlersfiddlers hadhad donedone, thatthat
weewe mightmight seesee ourour RaphRafeRaph againeagain.

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ActusActus tertiustertius, ScoenaScoena primaprima.

EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper andand LuceLuce.

Iasp.JasperIasp.ComeCome mymy deeredear deeredear, thoughthough wewe hauehave lostlost ourour wayway,
WeWe hauehave notnot lostlost our seluesourselves: areare youyou notnot wearyweary
WithWith thisthis nightsnight’snights wandringwand’ring, brokenbroken fromfrom youryour restrest?
AndAnd frightedfrighted withwith thethe terrourterror thatthat attendsattends
TheThe darknessedarkness ofof thesethese wildewild vn-peopledunpeopled placeplace?
Luce.Luce.NoNo mymy bestbest friendfriend, II cannotcannot eithereither fearefear,
OrOr entertaineentertain aa wearyweary thoughtthought, whilstwhilst youyou
(TheThe endend ofof allall mymy fullfull desiresdesires) standstand byby meme.
LetLet themthem thatthat looselose theirtheir hopeshopes, andand liuelive toto languishlanguish
AmongstAmongst thethe numbernumber ofof forsakenforsaken louerslovers,
TellTell thethe longlong wearyweary stepssteps, andand numbernumber timetime,
StartStart atat aa shadowshadow, andand shrinkeshrink vpup theirtheir bloudblood,
WhilstWhilst II (possestpossessed withwith allall contentcontent andand quietquiet)
ThusThus taketake mymy prettiepretty louelove, andand thusthus imbraceembrace himhim.
Iasp.JasperIasp.YouYou hauehave caughtcaught meme LuceLuce, soso fastfast, thatthat whilstwhilst II liuelive
II shallshall becomebecome youryour faithfullfaithful prisonerprisoner,
AndAnd werewearwere thesethese chaineschains forfor euerever. ComeCome sitsit downedown,
AndAnd restrest youryour bodybody, tootoo tootoo delicatedelicate
ForFor thesethese disturbancesdisturbances; soso, willwill youyou sleepesleep?
ComeCome, dodo notnot bebe moremore ableable thenthan youyou areare,
II knowknow youyou areare notnot skilfullskilful inin thesethese watcheswatches:
ForFor womenwomen areare nono souldierssoldiers; bebe notnot nicenice,
ButBut taketake itit, sleepesleep II saysay.
Luce.Luce.II cannotcannot sleepesleep,
IndeedIndeed II cannotcannot friendfriend.
Iasp.JasperIasp.WhyWhy thenthen wee’lwe’ll singsing,
AndAnd trytry howhow thatthat willwill workework vponupon ourour sencessenses.
Luce.Luce.Il’eI’ll singsing, oror saysay, oror anyany thingthing butbut sleepesleep.
Ias.JasperIas.ComeCome littlelittle Mer-maidMermaid, robrob meme ofof mymy heartheart
WithWith thatthat inchantingenchanting voycevoice.
Luce.Luce.YouYou mockemock meme IasperJasperjasper.

Song

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Sung.Sung.
Iasp.JasperIasp.TellTell meme (deerestdearest) whatwhat isis louelove?
Luce.Luce.’Tis’Tis aa lightninglightning fromfrom aboueabove,
’Tis’Tis anan arrowarrow, ’tis’tis aa fireaafire firefire,
’Tis’Tis aa boyboy theythey callcall desiredesire.
’Tis’Tis aa smilesmile
DothDoth beguilebeguile
Ias.JasperIas.TheThe poorepoor heartshearts ofof menmen thatthat proueprove.
TellTell meme moremore, areare womenwomen truetrue?
Luce.Luce.SomeSome louelove changechange, andand soso dodo youyou.
Ias.JasperIas.AreAre theythey fairefair, andand neuernever kindkind?
Luce.Luce.YesYes, whenwhen menmen turneturn withwith thethe windewind.
Ias.JasperIas.AreAre theythey frowardfroward?
Luce.Luce.EuerEver towardtowardtowards,
ThoseThose thatthat louelove, toto louelove a newanew.

Ias.JasperIas.DissembleDissemble itit nono moremore, II seesee thethe GodGod
OfOf heauyheavy sleepesleep, laylay onon hishis heauyheavy macemace
VponUpon youryour eye-lidseyelids.Luce.Luce.II amam veryvery heauyheavy.
Iasp.JasperIasp.SleepSleep, sleepsleep, &and quietquiet restrest crownecrown thythy sweetsweet thoughtsthoughts:
KeepeKeep fromfrom herher fairefair bloudblood, distempersdistempers, startingsstartings,
HorrorsHorrors.., andand fearefullfearful shapesshapes: letlet allall herher dreamesdreams
BeBe ioyesjoys, andand chastchaste delightsdelights, imbracesembraces, wisheswishes,
AndAnd suchsuch newnew pleasurespleasures, asas thethe rauishtravished soulesoul
GiuesGives toto thethe sencessenses. SoSo, mymy charmescharms hauehave tooketaken.
KeepeKeep herher youyou powerspowers diuinedivine, whilstwhilst II contemplatecontemplate
VponUpon thethe wealthwealth andand beautybeauty ofof herher mindemind.
SheShe isis onelyonly fairefair, andand constantconstant: onelyonly kindekind,
AndAnd onelyonly toto theethee IasperJasperjasper. OhOhO mymy ioyesjoys!
WhitherWhither willwill youyou transporttransport meme? letlet notnot fulnessefullness
OfOf mymy poorepoor buriedburied hopeshopes, comecome vpup togethertogether,
AndAnd ouer-chargeovercharge mymy spiritsspirits: II amam weakeweak
SomeSome saysay ( how euerhowever illill) thethe seasea andand womenwomen
AreAre gouern’dgoverned byby thethe MooneMoon, bothboth ebbeebb andand flowflow,
BothBoth fullfull ofof changeschanges: yetyet toto themthem thatthat knowknow,
AndAnd trulytruly iudgejudge, thesethese butbut opinionsopinions areare,
AndAnd heresiesheresies toto bringbring onon pleasingpleasing warrewar

F

Betweene

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

BetweeneBetween ourour temperstempers, thatthat withoutwithout thesethese werewere
BothBoth voidvoid ofof ater-loueafter-love, andand presentpresent fearefear.
WhichWhich areare thethe bestbest ofof CupidCupid. OhOhO thouthou childchild!
BredBred fromfrom dispairedespair, II daredare notnot entertaineentertain theethee,
HauingHaving aa louelove withoutwithout thethe faultsfaults ofof womenwomen,
AndAnd greatergreater inin herher perfectperfect goodsgoods thenthanthen menmen:
WhichWhich toto makemake goodgood, andand pleaseplease my selfemyself thethe strongerstronger,
ThoughThough certainelycertainly II amam certainecertain ofof herher louelove,
Il’eI’ll trytry herher, thatthat thethe worldworld andand memorymemory
MayMay singsing toto afterafter timestimes, herher constancieconstancy.
LuceLuce, LuceLuce, awakeawake.Luce.Luce.WhyWhy dodo youyou frightfright meme, friendfriend,
WithWith thosethose distempereddistempered lookeslooks? whatwhat makesmakes youryour swordsword
DrawneDrawn inin youryour handhand? whowho hathhath offendedoffended youyou?
II pre’theepre’cheepritheepre’chee IasperJasperjasper sleepesleep, thouthou artart wildewild withwith watchingwatching.
Iasp.JasperIasp.ComeCome makemake youryour wayway toto heauenheaven, andand bidbid thethe worldworld
(WithWith allall thethe villaniesvillainies thatthat stickestick vponupon itit)
Fare-wellFarewell; you’ryou’re forfor anotheranother lifelife.Luce.Luce.OhOhO IasperJasperjasper!
HowHow hauehave mymy tendertender yearesyears committedcommitted euillevil,
(EspeciallyEspecially againstagainst thethe manman II louelove)
ThusThus toto bebe croptcropped vntimelyuntimely?Iasp.JasperIasp.FoolishFoolish girlegirl,
CanstCanst thouthou imagineimagine II couldcould louelove hishis daughterdaughter,
ThatThat flungflung meme fromfrom mymy fortunefortune intointo nothingnothing?
DischargedDischarged meme hishis seruiceservice, shutshut thethe dooresdoors
VponUpon mymy pouertypoverty, andand scorn’dscorned mymy prayersprayers,
SendingSending meme, likelike aa boatboat withoutwithout aa mastmast,
ToTo sinkesink oror swinswim? ComeCome, byby thisthis handhand youyou dyedie,
II mustmust hauehave lifelife andand bloudblood toto satisfiesatisfy
YourYour fathersfather’s wrongswrongs.
WifeWife.AwayAway GeorgeGeorge, awayaway, raiseraise thethe watchwatch atat LudgateLudgate, andand
bringbring aa MittimusMittimus fromfrom thethe IusticeJusticejustice forfor thisthis desperatedesperate villainevillain.
NowNow II chargecharge youyou GentlemenGentlemen, seesee thethe KingsKing’sking’s peacepeace keptkept. OO
mymy heartheart whatwhat aa varlet’svarlet’s thisthis toto offeroffer man-slaughtermanslaughter vponupon thethe
harmelesseharmless GntlewomanGentlewomanGntlewomanGentlewoman?
Cit.CitizenCit.II warrantwarrant theethee (sweetsweet heartheart) wee’lwe’ll hauehave himhim ham-hamperedham∣peredhampered
pered.

Luce.Luce.OhOhO IasperJasperjasper! bebe notnot cruellcruel,
IfIf thouthou wiltwilt killkill meme, smilemilemilesmile andand dodo itit quicklyquickly.

And

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

AndAnd letlet notnot manymany deathsdeaths appeareappear beforebefore meme.
II amam aa womanwoman mademade ofof fearefear andand louelove,
AA weakeweak, weakeweak womanwoman, killkill notnot withwith thythy eyeseyes,
TheyThey shootshoot meme throughthrough andand throughthrough. StrikeStrike II amam readyready,
AndAnd dyingdying stilstill II louelove theethee.EnterEnter MerchantMerchant, HumphreyHumphrey, andand
hishis menmen.
March.MerchantMarch.Where aboutsWhereaboutswhereabouts.
Iasp.JasperIasp.NoNo moremore ofof thisthis, nownow toto my selfemyself againeagain.
Hum.HumphreyHum.ThereThere, therethere hehe standsstands withwith swordsword likelike martialmartial knightknight
DrawneDrawn inin hishis handhand, thereforetherefore bewarebeware thethe fightfight
YouYou thatthat bebe wisewise: forfor werewere II goodgood sirsir BeuisBevis,
II wouldwould notnot staystay hishis commingcoming, byby youryour leauesleaves.
March.MerchantMarch.SirrahSirrah, restorerestore mymy daughterdaughter.Iasp.JasperIasp.SirrahSirrah, nono.
March.MerchantMarch.VponUpon himhim thenthen.
WifeWife.SoSo, downedown withwith himhim, downedown withwith
himhim, downedown withwith himhim: cutcut himhim i’thi’th’ legleg boiesboys, cutcut himhim i’thi’th’ legleg.
March.MerchantMarch.ComeCome youryour waiesways MinionMinion, Il’eI’ll prouideprovide aa CageCage
ForFor youyou, youryou’reyour grownegrown soso tametame. HorseHorse herher awayaway.
Humph.HumphreyHumph.TrulyTruly ImeI’m gladglad youryour forcesforces hauehave thethe dayday.exeuntexeunt.
manetmanet
IasperJasperjasper.
Iasp.JasperIasp.TheyThey areare gonegone, andand II amam hurthurt, mymy louelove isis lostlost,
NeuerNever toto getget againeagain. OhOhO meme vnhappyunhappy!
BleedBleed, bleedbleed, andand dyedie, II cannotcannot: OhOhO mymy follyfolly!
ThouThou hasthast betraidbetrayed meme. HopeHope wherewhere artart thouthou fledfled?
TellTell meme ifif thouthou bee’stbe’stbeest any whereanywhere remainingremaining.
ShallShall II butbut seesee mymy louelove againeagain? OhOhO no!no!
SheShe willwill notnot dainedeign toto lookelook vponupon herher butcherbutcher,
NorNor isis itit fitfit sheshe shouldshould; yetyet II mustmust venterventure.
OhOhO chancechance, oror fortunefortune, oror what erewhate’er thouthou artart
ThatThat menmen adoreadore forfor powerfullpowerful, hearehear mymy crycry,
AndAnd letlet meme louingloving, liuelive; oror loosinglosing, diedie.ExitExit.
WifeWife.IsIs a’aa gonegone GeorgeGeorge?
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyI coniecunnyconie.
WifeWife.MarieMarrymarry andand letlet himhim goego (sweetsweet heartheart,) byby thethe faithfaith ao’
mymy bodybody a’a hashas putput meme intointo suchsuch aa frightfright, thatthat II trembletremble (asas
theythey saysay) asas ’twere’twere anan AspineAspenaspen leafeleaf: lookelook ao’a mymy littlelittle fingersingerfingersinger
GeorgeGeorge, howhow itit shakesshakes: nownow ii’i truthtruth eueryevery membermember ofof mymy bo-bodybo∣dybody
dy
isis thethe worseworse for’tfor’t.
Cit.CitizenCit.ComeCome, huggehug inin minemine armesarms sweetsweet mousemouse, heehe shallshall

F2

not

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

notnot frightfright theethee anyany moremore: alasalas minemine owneown deeredear heartheart, howhow
itit quiuersquivers.
EnterEnter MistresseMistress MerrithoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, RafeRafe, MichallMichaelMichall, SquireSquire
DwarfeDwarf, HostHost, andand aa TapsterTapster.
WifeWife.OO RafeRafe, howhow dostdost thouthou RafeRafe? howhow hasthast thouthou sleptslept to to nighttonight
night?
hashas thethe knightknight vs’dused theethee wellwell?
Cit.CitizenCit.PeacePeace NellNell, letlet RafeRafe alonealone.
Tapst.TapsterTapst.MaisterMaster, thethe reckoningreckoning isis notnot paidpaid.
RafeRafe.RightRight curteouscourteous knightknight, whowho forfor thethe ordersorder’sorde’s sakesake
WhichWhich thouthou hasthast taneta’en, hang’sthang’sthangest outout thethe holyholy bellbell,
AsAs II thisthis flamingflaming pestlepestle bearebear aboutabout,
WeWe renderrender thankesthanks toto youryour puissantpuissant selfeself,
YourYour beauteousbeauteous LadyLady, andand youryour gentlegentle SquiresSquires,
ForFor thusthus refreshingrefreshing ofof ourour weariedwearied limbeslimbs,
StiffnedStiffened withwith hardhard atchieuementsachievements inin wildewild desertdesert.
Tapst.TapsterTapst.SirSir, therethere isis tweluetwelve shillingsshillings toto paypay.
RafeRafe.ThouThou merrymerry SquireSquire TapsteroTapstero, thankesthanks toto theethee,
ForFor comfortingcomforting ourour soulessouls withwith doubledouble IugJugjug,
AndAnd ifif aduentrousadventurous fortunefortune prickeprick theethee forthforth,
ThouThou IouiallJovialjovial SquireSquire, toto followfollow featsfeats ofof armesarms,
TakeTake heedheed thouthou tendertender eueryevery LadiesLady’slady’s causecause,
EueryEvery truerytruery truetrue KnightKnight, andand eueryevery damselldamsel fairefair fairefair;
ButBut spillspill thethe bloudblood ofof trecheroustreacherous SarazensSaracensSarazens,
AndAnd falsefalse inchantersenchanters, thatthat withwith magickemagic spelsspells,
HaueHave donedone toto deathdeath fullfull manymany aa noblenoble KnightKnight.
Host.Host.ThouThou valiantvaliant KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning PestlePestle, giuegive eareear
toto meme, therethere isis tweluetwelve shillingsshillings toto paypay, andand asas II amam aa truetrue
KnightKnight, II willwill notnot batebate aa penypenny.
WifeWife.GeorgeGeorge, II praypray theethee telltell meme, mustmust RafeRafe paypay tweluetwelve shil-shillingsshil∣lingsshillings
lings
nownow?
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo NellNell, nono, nothingnothing butbut thethe oldold KnightKnight isis merriemerry
withwith RafeRafe.
WifeWife.OO is’tis’t nothingnothing elseelse? RafeRafe willwill bebe asas merrymerry asas hehe.
RafeRafe.SirSir KnightKnight, thisthis mirthmirth ofof yoursyours becomesbecomes youyou wellwell,
ButBut toto requiterequite thisthis liberallliberal curtesiecourtesy,
IfIf anyany ofof youryour SquiresSquires willwill followfollow armesarms,
HeeHe shallshall receiuereceive ftomfromfrom mymy heroickeheroic handhand

A

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

AA Knight-hoodKnighthood, byby thethe vertuevirtue ofof thisthis PestlePestle.
Host.Host.FaireFair KnightKnight II thankethank youyou forfor noblenoble offeroffer,
ThereforeTherefore gentlegentle KnightKnight,
TwelueTwelvetwelve shillingsshillings youyou mustmust paypay, oror II mustmust capcap youyou.
WifeWife.LookeLook GeorgeGeorge, diddid notnot II telltell theethee asas muchmuch, thethe KnightKnight
ofof thethe BelBellbell isis inin earnestearnest, RaphRafeRaph shallshall notnot beebe beholdingbeholding toto himhim,
giuegive himhim hishis moneymoney GeorgeGeorge, andand letlet himhim gogo snickvpsnick-up.
Ci.CitizenCi.CapCap RaphRafeRaph? nono; holdholdyhold yourouryour handhand sirsir KnightKnight ofof thethe BelBellbell, theresthere’s
youryour monymoney, hauehave youyou anyany thingthing toto saysay toto RaphRafeRaph nownow? CapCap RaphRafeRaph?
WifeWife.II wouldwould youyou shouldshould knowknow itit, RaphRafeRaph hashas friendsfriends thatthat
willwill notnot suffersuffer himhim toto bebe captcapped forfor tenten timestimes soso muchmuch, andand tenteaten
timestimes toto thethe endend ofof thatthat, nownow taketake thythy coursecourse RaphRafeRaph.
M.MistressM. mer.merrythoughtmer.ComeCome MichaelMichael, thouthou &and II wilwill gogo homehome toto thythy fatherfather,
hehe hathhath enoughenough leftleft toto keepkeep vsus aa dayday oror twotwo, andand we’lewe’ll setset fel-fellowsfel∣lowsfellows
lows
abrodabroad toto crycry ourour PursePurse &and ourour CasketCasket, ShalShalweShallshall wewe MichaelMichael?
Mich.MichaelMich.IAyay, II praypray MotherMother, intruthin truthintruth mymy feetefeet areare fullfull ofof
chilblaineschilblains withwith trauellingtravelling.
VVifeWife.FaithFaith andand thosethose chilblaneschilblains areare aa foulefoul troubletrouble, Mi-MistresseMi∣stresseMistress
stresse
Merie-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought whenwhen youryour youthyouth comescomes homehome letlet himhim
rubrub allall thethe solessoles ofof hishis feetefeet, andand thethe heelesheels, andand hishis anclesankles,
withwith aa mousemouse skinneskin, oror ifif nonenone ofof youryour peoplepeople cancan catchcatch aa
mousemouse, whenwhen heehe goesgoes toto bedbed, letlet himhim rowleroll hishis feetefeet inin thethe
warmewarm embersembers, audand II warrantwarrant youyou heehe shallshall bebe wellwell, andand youyou
maymay makemake himhim putput hishis fingersfingers betweenebetween hishis toestoes &and smellsmell toto
themthem, it’sit’s veryvery soueraignesovereign forfor hishis headhead ifif hehe bebe costiuecostive.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.MaisterMaster KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning PestlePestle, mymy sonson
MichaelMichael andand II, bidbid youyou farewelfarewell, II thankethank youryour WorshipWorship hear-heartilyhear∣tilyheartily
tily
forfor youryour kindnessekindness.
Raph.RafeRaph.Fare-wellFarewell fairefair LadyLady andand youryour tendertender SquireSquire,
IfIf, prickingpricking throughthrough thesethese DesartsDeserts, II dodo hearehear
OfOf anyany traiteroustraitorous KnightKnight whowho throughthrough hishis guileguile,
HathHath lightlight vponupon youryour CasketCasket andand youryour PursePurse,
II willwill despoiledespoil himhim ofof themthem andand restorerestore themthem.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.II thankethank youryour WorshipWorship.ExitExit withwith MichaelMichael.
Raph.RafeRaph.DwarfeDwarf bearebear mymy shieldshield, SquireSquire eleuateelevate mymy lancelance,
AndAnd nownow fare-wellfarewell youyou KnightKnight ofof holyholy BellBell.
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyay, IAyI RaphRafeRaph, allall isis paidpaid.

F3

Raph.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Raph.RafeRaph.ButBut yetyet beforebefore II gogo, speakespeak worthyworthy KnightKnight,
IfIf oughtaught youyou dodo ofof sadsad aduenturesadventures knowknow,
WhereWhere erranterrant KnightsKnights maymay throughthrough hishis prowesseprowess winnewin,
EternallEternal famefame andand freefree somesome gentlegentle soulessouls,
FromFrom endlesseendless bondsbonds ofof steelesteel andand lingringling’ringlingering painepain.
Host.Host.SirrahSirrah gogo toto NickeNick thethe BarborBarberbarber, andand bidbid himhim prepareprepare
himselfehimself, asas II toldtold youyou beforebefore, quickelyquickly.
Tap.TapsterTap.II amam gonegone sirsir.ExitExit TapsterTapster.
Host.Host.SirSir KnightKnight, thisthis wildernessewilderness affoordethaffordeth nonenone
ButBut thethe greatgreat venterventure, wherewhere fullfull manymany aa KnightKnight
HathHath tridetried hishis prowesseprowess andand comecome offoff withwith shameshame,
AndAnd wherewhere II wouldwould notnot hauehave youyou looselose youryour lifelife,
AgainstAgainst nono manman, butbut furiousfurious fiendfiend ofof hellhell.
Raph.RafeRaph.SpeakeSpeak onon sirsir KnightKnight, telltell whatwhat hehe isis, andand wherewhere,
ForFor heerehere II vowvow vponupon mymy blazingblazing badgebadge,
NeuerNever toto blazeblaze aa dayday inin quietnessequietness;
ButBut breadbread andand waterwater willwill II onelyonly eateeat,
AndAnd thethe greenegreen hearbeherb andand rockerock shallshall bebe mymy couchcouch,
TillTill II hauehave queldquelled thatthat manman, oror beastbeast, oror fiendfiend,
ThatThat workesworks suchsuch damagedamage toto allall ErrantErrant KnightsKnights.
Host.Host.NotNot farfar fromfrom hencehence, neerenear toto aa craggycraggy cliffecliff,
AtAt thethe NorthNorth endend ofof thisthis distresseddistressed TowneTown,
ThereThere dothdoth standstand aa lowlylowly househouse
RuggedlyRuggedly buildedbuilded, andand inin itit aa CaueCave,
InIn whichwhich anan ouglyugly GyantGiant nownow dothdoth wonwonwone,
YclepedYelepedYclepedCleped BarbarosoBarbaroso: inin hishis handhand
HeHe shakesshakes aa nakednaked lancelance ofof purestpurest steelesteel,
WithWith sleeuessleeves turn’dturned vpup, andand himhim beforebefore hehe weareswears,
AA motleymotley garmentgarment, toto preseruepreserve hishis cloathsclothes
FromFrom bloudblood ofof thosethose KnightsKnights whichwhich hehe massacresmassacres,
AndAnd LadiesLadiesladies’ GentGent: withoutwithout hishis doredoor dothdoth hanghang
AA coppercopper basonbalonbasinballoon, onon aa prickantpiickantprickant spearespear:
AtAt whichwhich, nono soonersooner gentlegentle KnightsKnights cancan knockeknock,
ButBut thethe shrillshrill soundsound, fiercefierce BarbarosoBarbaroso heareshears,
AndAnd rushingrushing forthforth, bingsbringsbingsbrings inin thethe erranterrant KnightKnight,
AndAnd setssets himhim downedown inin anan inchantedenchanted chairechair.
ThenThen withwith anan EngineEngine whichwhich hehe hathhath prepar’dprepared,

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

WithWith fortyforty teethteeth, hehe clawesclaws hishis courtlycourtly crownecrown,
NextNext makesmakes himhim winkewink, andand vnderneathunderneath hishis chinnechin,
HeeHe plantsplants aa brazenbrazen peecepiece ofof mightymighty bordbordboard,
AndAnd knocksknocks hishis bulletsbullets roundround aboutabout hishis cheekscheeks,
WhilstWhilst withwith hishis fingersfingers, andand anan instrumentinstrument
WithWith whichwhich hehe snapssnaps hishis hairehair offoff, hehe dothdoth fillfill
TheThe wretcheswretch’s earesears withwith aa mostmost hideoushideous noisenoise.
ThusThus eueryevery KnightKnight AduenturerAdventurer hehe dothdoth trimtrim,
AndAnd nownow nono creaturecreature daresdares encounterencounter himhim.
Raph.RafeRaph.InIn GodsGod’s namename, II willwill fightfight himhim, kindekind sirsir,
GoGo butbut beforebefore meme toto thisthis dismalldismal CaueCave,
WhereWhere thisthis hugehuge GyantGiant BarbarosoBarbaroso dwelsdwells,
AndAnd byby thatthat vertuevirtue thatthat brauebrave RosicleereRosicler,
ThatThat damneddamned broodbrood ofof ouglyugly GyantsGiants slewslew,
AndAnd PalmerinPalmerin FrannarcoFrannarco ouerthrewoverthrew:
II doubtdoubt notnot butbut toto curbecurb thisthis TraitorTraitor foulefoul,
AndAnd toto thethe DiuellDevil sendsend hishis guiltyguilty soulesoul.
Host.Host.Braue sprightedBraueBrave-sprightedBrave sprighted sprighted KnightKnight, thusthus farfar II willwill performeperform.
ThisThis youryour requestrequest, I’leI’ll bringbring youyou with inwithwithinwith in in sightsight
OfOf thisthis mostmost lothsomeloathsome placeplace, inhabitedinhabited
ByBy aa moremore loathsomeloathsome manman: butbut daredare notnot staystay,
ForFor hishis mainemain forceforce soopesswoopssoopes allall hehe seessees awayaway.
Raph.RafeRaph.SaintSaint GeorgeGeorge setset onon beforebefore, marchmarch SquireSquire andand pagepage.ExeuntExeunt.
VVifeWife.GeorgeGeorge, dostdost thinkethink RaphRafeRaph willwill confoundconfound thethe GyantGiant?
Cit.CitizenCit.II holdhold mymy capcap toto aa farthingfarthing heehe doesdoes: whywhy NelNell II sawsaw
himhim wrastlewrestle withwith thethe greatgreat Dutch-manDutchmandutchman andand hurlehurl himhim.
VVifeWife.FaithFaith andand thatthat Ducth-manDutchman waswas aa goodlygoodly manman, ifif
allall thingsthings werewere answerableanswerable toto hishis bignessebigness, andand yetyet theythey saysay
therethere waswas aa Scotsh-manScotchman higherhigher thenthan heehe, andand thatthat theythey twotwo
andand aa KnightKnight metmet, andand sawsaw oneone anotheranother forfor nothingnothing, butbut ofof
allall thethe sightssights thatthat euerever werewere inin LondonLondon, sincesince II waswas marriedmarried,
mee thinkesmethinks thethe littlelittle childchild thatthat waswas soso fairefair grownegrown aboutabout
thethe membersmembers waswas thethe prettiestprettiest, thatthat, andand thethe HermophroditeHermaphroditehermaphrodite.
Cit.CitizenCit.NayNay byby youryour leaueleave NelNell, NiniuyNinivieNinivy waswas betterbetter.
VVifeWife.NiniuieNinivieNiniveh, OOOh thatthat waswas thethe storystory ofof IoneJoan andand thethe WallWall,
waswas itit notnot GeorgeGeorge?
Cit.CitizenCit.YesYes lamlamb.EnterEnter mistressemistress Merry-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought.

Wife.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

VVifeWife.LookeLook GeorgeGeorge, heerehere comescomes MistresseMistress Merry-Merry∣thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought
thought
againeagain, andand II wouldwould hauehave RaphRafeRaph comecome andand fightfight withwith
thethe GiantGiant, II telltell youyou truetrue, II longlong toto see’tsee’t.
Cit.CitizenCit.GoodGood MistresseMistress Merry-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought bebe gonegone, II praypray youyou
forfor mymy sakesake, II praypray youyou forbeareforbear aa littlelittle, youyou shallshall hauehave audi-audienceaudi∣enceaudience
ence
presentlypresently, II hauehave aa littlelittle businessebusiness.
VVifeWife.MistresseMastresseMistress Merry-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought ifif itit pleaseplease youyou toto refrainerefrain
youryour passiōpassiōpassion aa littlelittle, tiltill RaphRafeRaph hauehave dispatchdispatch thethe GiantGiant outout ofof thethe
wayway wewe shalshalthinkshall thinkthink our seluesourselves muchmuch boundbound toto youyou, II thankthank youyou
goodgood MistresseMistress Merry-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought.ExitExit mist.mistmistressmissed. Merry-thou:Merry-thouMerrythoughtMerry-thou:
EnterEnter aa boyboy.
Cit.CitizenCit.BoyBoy, comecome hitherhither, sendsend awayaway RaphRafeRaph andand thisthis whore-whore∣sonnewhoreson
sonne
GiantGiant quickelyquickly.
BoyBoy.InIn goodgood faithfaith sirsir wewe cannotcannot, you’leyou’ll vtterlyutterly spoilespoil ourour
PlayPlay, andand makemake itit toto bebe histhissed, andand itit costcost moneymoney, youyou willwill notnot
suffersuffer vsus toto gogo onon withwith ourour plotplot, II praypray GentlemenGentlemen rulerule himhim.
Cit.CitizenCit.LetLet himhim comecome nownow andand dispatchdispatch thisthis, andand I’leI’ll trou-troubletrou∣bletrouble
ble
youyou nono moremore.
BoyBoy.WillWill youyou giuegive meme youryour handhand ofof thatthat?
WifeWife.GiueGive himhim thythy handhand GeorgeGeorge, dodo, andand I’leI’ll kissekiss himhim, II
warrantwarrant theethee thethe youthyouth meanesmeans plainelyplainly.
BoyBoy.I’leI’ll sendsend himhim toto youyou presentlypresently.ExitExit BoyBoy.
VVifeWife.II thankethank youyou littlelittle youthyouth, fethfaith thethe childchild hathhath aa
sweetesweet breathbreath GeorgeGeorge, butbut II thinkethink itit beebe troubledtroubled withwith thethe
wormesworms, CarduusCarduus BenedictusBenedictus andand MaresMare’smare’s milkemilk werewere thethe onelyonly
thingthing inin thethe worldworld for’tfor’t, OOOh Raph’sRafe’sRalph’s herehere GeorgeGeorge, GodGod sendsend theethee
goodgood luckeluck RaphRafeRaph.
EnterEnter RaphRafeRaph, HostHost, SquireSquire, andand DwarfeDwarf.
Host.Host.PuissantPuissant KnightKnight yonderyonder hishis MansionMansion isis,
LoLo wherewhere thethe spearespear andand CopperCopper BasonBasin areare,
BeholdBehold thatthat stringstring onon whichwhich hangshangs manymany aa toothtooth,
DrawneDrawn fromfrom thethe gentlegentle iawjaw ofof wandringwand’ring KnightsKnights,
II daredare notnot staystay toto soundsound, heehe willwill appeareappear.ExitExit HostHost.
Raph.RafeRaph.OO faintfaint notnot heartheart, SusanSusan mymy LadyLady deeredear,
TheThe CoblersCobbler’scobbler’s MaidMaid inin Milke-streeteMilk streetMilk-street, forfor whosewhose sakesake,
II taketake thesethese ArmesArms, OOOh letlet thethe thoughtthought ofof theethee,
CarryCarry thythy KnightKnight throughthrough allall aduenterousadventurous deedsdeeds,

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

AndAnd inin thethe honorhonour ofof thythy beauteousbeauteous selfeself,
MayMay II destroydestroy thisthis monstermonster BarbarosoBarbaroso,
KnockeKnock SquireSquire vponupon thethe BasonBasin tilltill itit breakebreak.EnterEnter
BarborBarberbarber.
WithWith thethe shrillshrill stroakesstrokes, oror tilltill thethe GiantGiant speakespeak.
WifeWife.OO GeorgeGeorge, thethe GiantGiant, thethe GiantGiant, nownow RaphRafeRaph forfor thythy lifelife.
BarberBarber.WhatWhat fondfond vnknowingunknowing wightwight isis thisthis? thatthat daresdares
SoSo rudelyrudely knockeknock atat Barbarossa’sBarbaroso’sBarbarossa’s CellCell,
WhereWhere nono manman comescomes butbut leauesleaves hishis fleecefleece behindbehind?
Raph.RafeRaph.IIay, traiteroustraitorous CaitiffeCaitiff, whowho amam sentsent byby fatefate
ToTo punishpunish allall thethe sadsad enormitiesenormities
ThouThou hasthast committedcommitted againstagainst LadiesLadiesLady’s GentGent
AndAnd erranterrant KnightsKnights, traitortraitor toto GodGod andand menmen:
PreparePrepare thy selfethyself, thisthis isis thethe dismalldismal hourehour
AppointedAppointed forfor theethee, toto giuegive stricktstrict accountaccount
OfOf allall thythy beastlybeastly treacheroustreacherous villaniesvillainies.
BarberBarber.Foole-hardyFoolhardy KnightKnight, fullfull soonesoon thouthou shaltshalt abyaby
ThisThis fondfond reproachreproach, thythy bodybody willwill II bangbang,HeeHe takestakes downedown
hishis polepole.
AndAnd loelo vponupon thatthat stringstring thythy teethteeth shallshall hanghang:
PreparePrepare thy selfethyself, forfor deaddead soonesoon shaltshalt thouthou beebe,
Raph.RafeRaph.SaintSaint GeorgeGeorge forfor meme.TheyThey fightfight.
BarberBarber.GargantuaGargantua forfor meme.
WifeWife.ToTo himhim, RaphRafeRaph toto himhim, holdhold vpup thethe GiantGiant, setset outout thythy
legleg beforebefore RaphRafeRaph.
Cit.CitizenCit.FalsifieFalsify aa blowblow RaphRafeRaph, falsifiefalsify aa blowblow, thethe GiantGiant lieslies
openopen onon thethe leftleft sideside.
WifeWife.Beare’tBear’tbear’t offoff, beare’tbear’t ofoffof stillstill; therethere boyboy, OOOh Raphe’sRafe’sRaphe’s al-almostal∣mostalmost
most
downedown, Raph’sRafe’sRalph’s almostalmost downedown.
Raph.RafeRaph.SusanSusan inspireinspire meme, nownow hauehave vpup againeagain.
WifeWife.VpUp, vpup, vpup, vpup, vpup, soso RaphRafeRaph, downedown withwith himhim, downedown
withwith himhim RaphRafeRaph.
Cit.CitizenCit.FetchFetch himhim oreo’er thethe hiphip boyboy.
VVifeWife.ThereThere boyboy, killkill, killkill, killkill, killkill, killkill, RaphRafeRaph.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo RaphRafeRaph getget allall outout ofof himhim firstfirst.
Raph.RafeRaph.PresumptuousPresumptuous manman, seesee toto whatwhat desperatedesperate endend
ThyThy treatcherytreachery hathhath broughtbrought theethee, thethe iustjust GodsGods,
WhoWho neuernever prosperprosper thosethose thatthat dodo despisedespise themthem,
ForFor allall thethe villaniesvillainies whichwhich thouthou hasthast donedone

G

To

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ToTo KnightsKnights andand LadiesLadies, nownow hauehave paidpaid theethee homehome
ByBy mymy stiffestiff armearm, aa KnightKnight aduenturousadventurous,
ButBut saysay vilevile wretchwretch, beforebefore II sendsend thythy soulesoul
ToTo sadsad AuernusAvernus whetherwhitherwhether itit mustmust gogo,
WhatWhat captiuescaptives holdsthold’st thouthou inin thythy sablesable cauecave.
BarberBarber.GoGo inin andand freefree themthem allall, thouthou hasthast thethe dayday.
Raph.RafeRaph.GoGo SquireSquire &and DwarfeDwarf, searchsearch inin thisthis dreadfulldreadful CaueCave
AndAnd freefree thethe wretchedwretched prisonersprisoners fromfrom theirtheir bondsbonds.
ExitExit SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf.
BarberBarber.II crauecrave forfor mercymercy, asas thouthou artart aa KnightKnight,
AndAnd scornstscorn’st toto spillspill thethe bloudblood ofof thosethose thatthat begbeg.
Raph.RafeRaph.ThouThou showdstshowed’stshow’dst nono mercymercy, nornor shaltshalt thouthou hauehave anyany,
PreparePrepare thy selfethyself forfor thouthou shaltshalt surelysurely diedie.
EnterEnter SquireSquire leadingleading oneone winkingwinking, withwith aa BasonBasin vnderunder hishis chinchin.
SquireSquire.BeholdBehold brauebrave KnightKnight heerehere isis oneone prisonerprisoner,
WhomWhom thisthis wildewild manman hathhath vsedused asas youyou seesee.
WifeWife.ThisThis isis thethe firstfirst wisewise wordword II heardheard thethe SquireSquire speakespeak.
Raph.RafeRaph.SpeakeSpeak whatwhat thouthou artart, andand howhow thouthou hasthast benebeen vs’dused,
ThatThat thatthat II maymay giuegive condignecondign punishmentpunishment,
1.1. Kni.KnightKni.II amam aa KnightKnight thatthat tooketook mymy iourneyjourney postpost
North-wardNorthward fromfrom LondonLondon, andand inin curteouscourteous wisewise,
ThisThis GiantGiant train’dtrained meme toto hishis loathsomeloathsome denden,
VnderUnder pretencepretence ofof killingkilling ofof thethe itchitch,
AndAnd allall mymy bodybody withwith aa powderpowder strew’dstrewed,
ThatThat smartssmarts andand stingsstings, andand cutcut awayaway mymy beardbeard,
AndAnd mymy curl’dcurled lockeslocks whereinwherein werewere ribandsribbons ti’detied,
AndAnd withwith aa waterwater washtwashed mymy tendertender eyeseyes,
WhilstWhilst vpup andand downedown aboutabout meme stillstill hehe skiptskipped,
WhoseWhose vertuevirtue isis, thatthat tilltill minemine eyeseyes bebe wip’twiped
WithWith aa drydry cloathcloth, forfor thisthis mymy foulefoul disgracedisgrace,
II shallshall notnot daredare toto lookelook aa dogdog i’th’i’th’ faceface.
VVifeWife.AlasAlas poorepoor KnightKnight, relieuerelieve himhim RaphRafeRaph, releiuerelieve poorepoor
KnightsKnights whilstwhilst youyou liuelive.
Raph.RafeRaph.MyMy trustytrusty SquireSquire conueyconvey himhim toto thethe TowneTown,
WhereWhere hehe maymay findefind releiferelief, adiewadieu fairefair KnightKnight,ExitExit knightknight.
EnterEnter DwarfeDwarf leadingleading oneone withwith aa patchpatch oreo’er hishis NoseNose.
Dwar.DwarfDwar.PuisantPuissant KnightKnight ofof thethe burningburning PestlePestle highthight,

See

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

SeeSee heerehere anotheranother wretchwretch, whomwhom thisthis foulefoul beastbeast
HathHath scorchtscorched andand scor’dscored inin thisthis inhumaineinhuman wisewise.
Raph.RafeRaph.SpeakeSpeak meme thythy namename andand ekeeke thythy placeplace ofof birthbirth,
AndAnd whatwhat hathhath benebeen thythy vsageusage inin thisthis CaueCave.
2.2. KnightKnight.II amam aa KnightKnight, SirSir Pocke-holePockholePock-hole isis mymy namename,
AndAnd byby mymy birthbirth II amam aa LondonerLondoner
FreeFree byby mymy CoppyCopy, butbut mymy AncestorsAncestors
WereWere French-menFrenchmen allall, andand ridingriding hardhard thisthis wayway,
VponUpon aa trottingtrotting horsehorse, mymy bonesbones diddid akeache,
AndAnd II faintfaint KnightKnight toto easeease mymy wearyweary limbeslimbs,
LightLight atat thisthis CaueCave, whenwhen straightstraight thisthis furiousfurious fiendfiend,
WithWith sharpestsharpest instrumentinstrument ofof purestpurest steelesteel,
DidDid cutcut thethe gristlegristle ofof mymy NoseNose awayaway,
AndAnd inin thethe placeplace thisthis veluetvelvet plaisterplaster standsstands,
RelieueRelieve meme gentlegentle KnightKnight outout ofof hishis handshands.
WifeWife.GoodGood RaphRafeRaph releiuerelieve sirsir Pocke-holePockholePock-hole andand sendsend himhim
awayaway, forfor, intruthin truthintruth, hishis breathbreath stinkesstinks,
Raph.RafeRaph.ConueyConvey himhim straightstraight afterafter thethe otherother KnightKnight,
SirSir Pocke-holePockholePock-hole farefare youyou wellwell.
2.2. Kni.KnightKni.KindeKind sirsir good-nightgoodnight.ExitExit.
CryesCries withinwithin.
Man.Man.DeliuerDeliver vsus.VVoemanWoman.DeliuerDeliver vsus.
VVifeWife.HearkeHark GeorgeGeorge, whatwhat aa woefullwoeful crycry therethere isis, II thinkethink
somesome womanwoman lieslies inin therethere.Man.Man.DeliuerDeliver vsus.
VVoemanWoman.DeliuerDeliver vsus.
Raph.RafeRaph.WhatWhat gastlyghastly noisenoise isis thisthis? speakespeak BarbarosoBarbaroseBarbarosoBarbarose,
OrOr byby thisthis blasingblazing steelesteel thythy headhead goesgoes offoff.
BarberBarber.PrisonersPrisoners ofof minemine whomwhom II inin dietdiet keepekeep,
SendSend lowerlower downedown intointo thethe CaueCave,
AndAnd inin aa TubTub that’sthat’s heatedheated smoakingsmoking hothot,
ThereThere maymay theythey findefind themthem andand deliuerdeliver themthem,
Raph.RafeRaph.RunRun SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf, deliuerdeliver themthem withwith speedspeed.
ExeuntExeunt SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf.
WifeWife.ButBut willwill notnot RaphRafeRaph killkill thisthis GiantGiant, surelysurely II amam afeardafeard
ifif heehe letlet himhim gogo hehe willwill dodo asas muchmuch hurthurt, asas euerever hehe diddid.
Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.NotNot soso mousemouse neitherneither, ifif heehe couldcould conuertconvert
himhim.

G2

VVife.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

WifeWife.IAyI GeorgeGeorge ifif heehe couldcould conuertconvert himhim, butbut aa GiantGiant isis
notnot soso soonesoon conuertedconverted asas oneone ofof vsus ordinaryordinary peoplepeople: there’sthere’s
aa prettypretty taletale ofof aa WitchWitch, thatthat hadhad thethe diuelsdevil’s markemark aboutabout herher,
GodGod blessebless vsus, thatthat hadhad aa GiantGiant toto herher sonneson, thatthat waswas cal’dcalled
Lob-lie-by-the-fireLob-lie-by-the-fire, didstdidst neuernever herehearhere itit GeorgeGeorge?

EnterEnter SquireSquire leadingleading aa manman withwith aa glasseglass ofof LotionLotion inin hishis handhand,
andand thethe DwarfeDwarf leadingleading aa womanwoman, withwith diet-diet∣breaddiet breaddiet∣bread
bread
andand drinkedrink.
Cit.CitizenCit.PeacePeace NelNell, heerehere comescomes thethe prisonersprisoners.
Dwar.DwarfDwar.HereHere bebe thesethese pinedpined wretcheswretches, manfullmanful KnightKnight,
ThatThat forfor thesethese sixesix weekesweeks hauehave notnot seeneseen aa wightwight.
Raph.RafeRaph.DeliuerDeliver whatwhat youyou areare, andand howhow youyou camecame
ToTo thisthis sadsad CaueCave, andand whatwhat youryour vsageusage waswas?
Man.Man.II amam anan ErrantErrant KnightKnight thatthat followedfollowed ArmesArms,
WithWith spearespear andand shieldshield, andand inin mymy tendertender yearesyears
II strickenstricken waswas withwith CupidsCupid’s fieryfiery shaftshaft,
AndAnd fellfell inin louelove withwith thisthis mymy LadyLady deeredear,
AndAnd stolestole herher fromfrom herher friendsfriends inin Turne-bull-streeteTurnbull streetTurnbull-street,
AndAnd borebore herher vpup andand downedown fromfrom TowneTown toto TowneTown,
WhereWhere wewe diddid eateeat andand drinkedrink andand MusickeMusic hearehear,
TillTill atat thethe lengthlength, atat thisthis vnhappyunhappy TowneTown
WeeWewe diddid arriuearrive, andand commingcoming toto thisthis CaueCave
ThisThis beastbeast vsus caughtcaught andand putput vsus inin aa TubTub,
WhereWhere wewe thisthis twotwo monthesmonths sweatesweat, andand shouldshould hauehave donedone
AnotherAnother MonethMonth ifif youyou hadhad notnot relieu’drelieved vsus.
VVom.WomanVVom.ThisThis breadbread andand waterwater hathhath ourour dietdiet benebeen,
TogetherTogether withwith aa ribrib cutcut fromfrom aa neckeneck
OfOf burnedburned MuttonMutton, hardhard hathhath benebeen ourour farefare,
ReleaseRelease vsus fromfrom thisthis ouglyugly GiantsGiant’sGiants snaresnare.
Man.Man.ThisThis hathhath benebeen allall thethe foodfood wewe hauehave receiu’dreceived,
ButBut onelyonly twicetwice aa dayday forfor noueltynovelty,
HeHe gauegave aa spoonefullspoonful ofof thisthis heartyhearty brothbroth,PulsPullspulls outout aa sirringesyringe
ToTo eacheach ofof vsus, throughthrough thisthis samesame slenderslender quillquill.
Raph.RafeRaph.FromFrom thisthis infernallinfernal monstermonster youyou shallshall gogo,
ThatThat vsethuseth KnightsKnights andand gentlegentle LadiesLadies soso,
ConueyConvey themthem hencehence.ExeuntExeunt manman andand womanwoman.

Cit.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Cit.CitizenCit.ConyCunnyconey, II cancan telltell theethee thethe GentlemenGentlemen likelike RafeRafe.
VVifeWife.IAyI GeorgeGeorge, II seesee itit wellwell inoughenough. GentlemenGentlemen II thankethank
youyou allall heartilyheartily forfor gracinggracing mymy manman RafeRafe, andand II promisepromise youyou
youyou shallshall seesee himhim oftneroft’neroftener.
BarberBarber.MercyMercy greatgreat knightknight, II dodo recantrecant mymy illill,
AndAnd henceforthhenceforth neuernever gentlegentle bloudblood willwill spillspill.
RafeRafe.II giuegive theethee mercymercy, butbut yetyet shaltshalt thouthou sweareswear
VponUpon mymy burningburning pestlepestle, toto performeperform
ThyThy promisepromise vtterduttered.
BarberBarber.II sweareswear andand kissekiss.
RafeRafe.DepartDepart thenthen, andand amendamend.
ComeCome squiresquire andand dwarfedwarf, thethe SunneSun growesgrows towardstowards hishis setset,
andand wewe hauehave manymany moremore aduenturesadventures yetyet.ExeuntExeunt.
Cit.CitizenCit.NowNow RafeRafe isis inin thisthis humourhumour, II knowknow heehe wouldwould haha’
beatenbeaten allall thethe boyesboys inin thethe househouse ifif theythey hadhad beenebeen setset onon
himhim.
VVifeWife.IAyI GeorgeGeorge, butbut itit isis wellwell asas itit isis, II warrantwarrant youyou thethe
GentlemenGentlemen dodo considerconsider whatwhat itit isis toto ouerthrowoverthrow aa gyantgiant: butbut
lookelook GeorgeGeorge, heerehere comescomes mistressemistress Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought andand herher
sonneson MichaelMichael; nownow youyou areare welcomewelcome mistressemistress Merri-MerriMerrythoughtMerry
thought- thought thought,
nownow RafeRafe hashas donedone youyou maymay gogo onon.
EnterEnter mistressemistress Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, andand MichaelMichael.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.MickeMick mymy boyboy?
Mich.MichaelMich.IAyI forsoothforsooth mothermother.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.BeBe merrymerry MickeMick wewe areare atat homehome nownow; wherewhere II
warrantwarrant youyou, youyou shallshall findefind thethe househouse flungflung outout atat thethe win-windoweswin∣doweswindows
dowes:
HarkeHark, heyheyheigh doggesdogs, heyheyheigh, thisthis isis thethe oldold worldworld I’faithI’faith
withwith mymy husbandhusband, ifif II getget inin amongamong ’em’em, IleI’ll playplay em’em suchsuch aa
lessonlesson, thatthat theythey shallshall hauehave littlelittle listlist toto comecome scrapingscraping hi-hitherhi∣therhither
ther,
againeagain. WhyWhy maistermaster Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, husbandhusband, CharlesCharles
Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri. withinwithin.IfIf youyou willwill singsing andand dauncedance, andand laughlaugh,
andand hollowhalloohollow, andand laughlaugh againeagain, andand thenthen crycry therethere boyesboys,
therethere: whywhy thenthenthan
OneOne, twotwo, threethree, andand fourefour,
WeWe shallshall bebe merrymerry withinwithin thisthis hourehour.
Mist.MistressMist. merri.merrythoughtmerri.WhyWhy CharlesCharles, doedo youyou notnot knowknow youryour

G3

owne

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

owneown naturallnatural wifewife? II saysay, openopen thethe dooredoor, andand turneturn meme outout
thosethose mangymangy companionscompanions; ’tis’tis moremore thenthan timetime thatthat theythey werewere
fellowfellow andand fellow likefellowfellowlikefellow like like withwith youyou: youyou areare aa GentlemanGentleman
CharlesCharles, andand anan oldold manman, andand fatherfather ofof twotwo childrenchildren; andand II
my selfemyself (thoughthough II saysay itit) byby mymy mothersmother’s sideside, NeeceNiece toto aa
worshipfullworshipful GentlemanGentleman, andand aa ConductorConductor, haha hashas beenebeen
threethree timestimes inin hishis MaiestiesMajesty’s seruiceservice atat ChesterChester, andand isis nownow
thethe fourthfourth timetime, GodGod blessebless himhim, andand hishis chargecharge vponupon hishis
iourneyjourney.
OldOld Mer.MerrythoughtMer.GoGo fromfrom mymy windowwindow, louelove, goego;
GoGo fromfrom mymy windowwindow mymy deeredear,
TheThe windewind andand thethe rainerain willwill driuedrive youyou backeback againeagain,
YouYou cannotcannot hebehe lodgedlodged heerehere.
HarkeHark youyou MistresseMistress MerrithoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, youyou thatthat walkewalk vponupon ad-aduenturesad∣uenturesadventures
uentures,
andand forsakeforsake youryour husbandhusband, becausebecause heehe singssings withwith
neuernever aa penypenny inin hishis pursepurse; WhatWhat shallshall II thinkethink my selfemyself thethe
worseworse? FaithFaith nono, Il’eI’ll bebe merrymerry.
YouYou comecome notnot heerehere, heer’shere’s nonenone butbut ladslads ofof mettlemettle, liueslives
ofof aa hundredhundred yearesyears, andand vpwardsupwardsonwards, carecare neuernever drunkedrunk theirtheir
bloudsbloods, nornor wantwant mademade ’em’em warblewarble.
Hey-hoHey-ho, mymy heartheart isis heauyheavy.
MistMistressMrs. mer.merrythoughtmer.WhyWhy Mr.MasterMr. MerrithoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, whatwhat amam II thatthat youyou
shouldshould laughlaugh meme toto scornescorn thusthus abruptlyabruptly? amam II notnot youryour fel-fellow-feelerfel∣low-feelerfellow feelerfellow-feeler
low-feeler
(asas wewe maymay saysay) inin allall ourour miseriesmiseries? youryour comfor-comfortercomfor∣tercomforter
ter
inin healthhealth andand sicknessesickness? hauehave II notnot broughtbrought youyou Chil-ChildrenChil∣drenChildren
dren?
areare theythey notnot likelike youyou CharlesCharles? lookelook vponupon thinethine owneown
ImageImage hard-heartedhard-hearted manman; andand yetyet forfor allall thisthis —
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer. withinwithin.BegoneBegone, begonebegone, mymy IuggyJuggyjuggy, mymy puggypuggy, be-begonebe∣gonebegone
gone
mymy louelove, mymy deeredear.
TheThe weatherweather isis warmewarm, twill’twill dodo theethee nono harmeharm, thouthou canstcanst
notnot bebe lodgedlodged heerehere.
BeBe merrymerry boyesboys, somesome lightlight musickemusic, andand moremore winewine.
WifeWife.He’sHe’s notnot inin earnestearnest, II hopehope GeorgeGeorge, isis hehe?
Cit.CitizenCit.WhatWhat ifif hehe bebe, sweetsweet heartheart?
WifeWife.MarieMarrymarry ifif heehe bebe GeorgeGeorge, IleI’ll makemake boldbold toto telltell himhim
hee’she’s anan IngrantIngrantingrate oldold manman, toto vseuse hishis bed-fellowbedfellow soso scuruilyscurvily.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhatWhat howhow doesdoes hehe vseuse herher hunnyhoney?

Wife.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

WifeWife.MarieMarrymarry comecome vpup sirsir sauce-boxsaucebox, II thinkethink you’lyou’ll taketake hishis
partpart, willwill youyou notnot? LordLord howhow hothot youyou areare grownegrown: youyou areare
aa finefine manman anan youyou hadhad aa finefine doggedog, itit becomesbecomes youyou sweetlysweetly.
Cit.CitizenCit.NayNay pre’theeprithee NellNell chidechide notnot: forfor asas II amam anan honesthonest
manman, andand aa truetrue ChristianChristian GrocerGrocer, II doedo notnot likelike hishis do-doingsdo∣ings
ingsdoings.
WifeWife.II crycry youyou merciemercy thenthen GeorgeGeorge; youyou knowknow wewe areare allall
frailefrail, andand fullfull ofof infirmitiesinfirmities. DeeD’yed’ye hearehear Mr.MasterMr. Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought,
maymay II crauecrave aa wordword withwith youyou?
OldOld mermenmerrythoughtmen withinwithin.StrikeStrike vpup liuelylively ladslads.
WifeWife.II hadhad notnot thoughtthought inin truthtruth, Mr.MasterMr. MerrithoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, thatthat aa
manman ofof youryour ageage andand discretiondiscretion (asas II maymay saysay) beingbeing aa Gen-GentlemanGen∣tlemanGentleman
tleman,
andand thereforetherefore knowneknown byby youryour gentlegentle conditionsconditions,
couldcould hauehave vsedused soso littlelittle respectrespect toto thethe weaknesseweakness ofof hishis wifewife:
forfor youryour wifewife isis youryour owneown fleshflesh, thethe staffestaff ofof youryour ageage, youryour
yoke-fellowyoke-fellow, withwith whosewhose helpehelp youyou drawdraw throughthrough thethe miremire
ofof thisthis transitorytransitory worldworld: NayNay, she’sshe’s youryour owneown ribberib. AndAnd
againeagain—
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.II comecome notnot hitherhither forfor theethee toto teachteach,
II hauehave nono pulpitpulpit forfor theethee toto preachpreach,
II wouldwould thouthou hadsthadst kistkissed meme vnderunder thethe breechbreech,
AsAs thouthou artart aa LadyLady gaygay.
WifeWife.MarieMarrymarry withwith aa vengeancevengeance.
II amam hartelyheartily sorrysorry forfor thethe poorepoor gentlewomangentlewoman: butbut ifif II werewere
thythy wifewife, I’faithI’faith gray-beardgraybeard, I’faithI’faith—
Cit.CitizenCit.II pre’theeprithee sweetsweet hunny-sucklehoneysuckle, bebe contentcontent.
WifeWife.GiueGive meme suchsuch wordswords thatthat amam aa gentlewomangentlewoman borneborn,
hanghang himhim hoaryhoary rascallrascal. GetGet meeme somesome drinkedrink GeorgeGeorge, II amam
almostalmost moltenmolten withwith frettingfretting: nownow beshrewbeshrew hishis knauesknave’s heartheart
forfor itit.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.PlayPlay meme aa lightlight LaualtoLavalto: comecome, beebe frolickefrolic, fillfill
thethe goodgood fellowesfellow’s winewine.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.WhyWhy Mr.MasterMr. MerrithoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, areare youyou disposeddisposed toto
makemake meme waitwait herehere: you’lyou’ll openopen II hopehope, Il’eI’ll fetchfetch themthem thatthat
shallshall openopen elseelse.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.GoodGood womanwoman ifif youyou wilwill singsing Il’eI’ll giuegive youyou some-somethingsome∣thingsomething
thing,
ifif notnot -

Song.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle

SongSong.
YouYou areare nono louelove forfor meme MargretMarg’ret, II amam nono louelove forfor youyou.
ComeCome aloftaloft BoyesBoys, aloftaloft.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.NowNow aa ChurlesChurl’schurl’s fartfart inin youryour teethteeth sirsir: ComeCome
MickeMick, wee’lwe’ll notnot troubletrouble himhim, a’a shallshall notnot dingding vsus i’thi’th’ teethteeth
withwith hishis breadbread andand hishis brothbroth: thatthat hehe shallshall notnot: comecome boyboy, Il’eI’ll
prouideprovide forfor theethee, II warrantwarrant theethee: wee’lwe’ll goego toto maistermaster Ven-VenterwelsVen∣terwelsVenturewell’s
terwels
thethe MerchantMerchant, Il’eI’ll getget hishis letterletter toto minemine HostHost ofof thethe
BellBell inin WalthamWaltham, therethere Il’eI’ll placeplace theethee withwith thethe TapsterTapster; willwill
notnot thatthat doedo wellwell forfor theethee MickeMick? andand letlet meme alonealone forfor thatthat
oldold CuckoldlyCuckoldly knaueknave youryour fatherfather, Il’eI’ll vseuse himhim inin hishis kindekind,
II warrantwarrant yeeye.
WifeWife.ComeCome GeorgeGeorge, wher’swhere’s thethe beerebeer?
Cit.CitizenCit.HereHere louelove.
WifeWife.ThisThis oldold fornicatingfornicating fellowfellow wilwill notnot outout ofof mymy mindmind
yetyet; GentlemenGentlemen, Il’eI’ll beginbegin toto youyou allall, andand II desiredesire moremore ofof
youryour acquaintanceacquaintance, withwith allall mymy heartheart. FillFill thethe GentlemenGentlemen
somesome beerebeer GeorgeGeorge.
FinisFinis ActusActus tertijtertiitertij. MusickeMusic.

ActusActus quartusquartus, ScœnaScoenaScoena primaprima.

BoyBoy dauncethdanceth.
WifeWife.LookeLook GeorgeGeorge, thethe littlelittle boy’sboy’s comecome againeagain, mee mee∣thinkesmethinks
thinkes
hehe lookeslooks somethingsomething likelike thethe princeprince ofof OrangeOrange inin hishis
longlong stockingstocking, ifif heehe hadhad aa littlelittle harnesseharness aboutabout hishis neckeneck.
GeorgeGeorge II willwill hauehave himhim dancedance FadingFading; FadingFading isis aa finefine IiggeJigjig
Il’eI’ll assureassure youyou GentlemenGentlemen: beginbegin brotherbrother, nownow aa caperscaper’s
sweetsweet heartheart, nownow aa turneturn a’tho’th’ toetoe, andand thenthen tumbletumble: cannotcannot
youyou tumbletumble youthyouth?
BoyBoy.NoNo indeedindeed forsoothforsooth:
WifeWife.NorNor eateeat firefire?BoyBoy.NeitherNeither.
WifeWife.WhyWhy thenthen II thankethank youyou heartilyheartily, there’sthere’s twotwo pencepence
toto buybuy youyou pointspoints withallwithal.
EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper andand BoyBoy.
Iasp.JasperIasp.ThereThere boyboy, deliuerdeliver thisthis: butbut dodo itit wellwell. HastHast thouthou
prouidedprovided meme fourefour lustylusty fellowesfellows?

Able

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AbleAble toto carrycarry meme? andand artart thouthou perfectperfect
InIn allall thythy businessebusiness?BoyBoy.SirSir, youyou needneed notnot fearefear,
II hauehave mymy lessonlesson herehere, andand cannotcannot missemiss itit:
TheThe menmen areare readyready forfor youyou, andand whatwhat elseelse
PertainesPertains toto thisthis imploymentemployment.Iasp.JasperIasp.ThereThere mymy boyboy,
TakeTake itit, butbut buybuy nono landland.BoyBoy.FaithFaith sirsir ’twere’twere rarerare
ToTo seesee soso yongyoung aa purchaserpurchaser: II flyefly,
AndAnd onon mymy wingswings carrycarry youryour destiniedestiny.ExitExit.
Iasp.JasperIasp.GoGo, andand bebe happyhappy. NowNow mymy latestlatest hopehope
ForsakeForsake meme notnot, butbut flingfling thythy AnchorAnchor outout,
AndAnd letlet itit holdhold: standstand fixtfixed thouthou rollingrolling stonestone,
TillTill II enioyenjoy mymy deerestdearest: hearehear meme allall
YouYou powerspowers thatthat rulerule inin menmen cœlestiallcoelestiallcelestial.ExitExit.
WifeWife.GoGo thythy wayesways, thouthou artart asas crookedcrooked aa spriggesprig asas euerever
grewgrew inin LondonLondon; II warrantwarrant himhim hee’lhe’ll comecome toto somesome naughtynaughty
endend oror otherother: forfor hishis lookeslooks saysay nono lesseless: BesidesBesides, hishis fatherfather
(youyou knowknow GeorgeGeorge) isis nonenone ofof thethe bestbest, youyou heardheard himhim taketake
meme vpup likelike aa flirt Gillflirtflirt-Gillflirt Gill Gill, andand singsing baudybawdy songssongs vponupon meme: butbut
IfaithI faithI’faithi’faith ifif II liuelive GeorgeGeorge—
Cit.CitizenCit.LetLet meme alonealone sweet-heartsweetheart, II hauehave aa tricketrick inin mymy headhead
shallshall lodgelodge himhim inin thethe ArchesArches forfor oneone yeareyear, andand makemake himhim
singsing PeccauiPeocaniPeccaviPeocani, er’eere II leaueleave himhim, andand yetyet heehe shallshall neuernever knowknow
whowho hurthurt himhim neitherneither.
WifeWife.DoDo mymy goodgood GeorgeGeorge, dodo.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhatWhat shallshall wewe hauehave RafeRafe dodo nownow boyboy?
BoyBoy.YouYou shallshall hauehave whatwhat youyou willwill sirsir.
Cit.CitizenCit.WhyWhy soso sirsir, gogo andand fetchfetch meme himhim thenthen, andand letlet thethe So-SophySo∣phySophy
phy
ofof PersiaPersia comecome andand christenchristen himhim aa childechild.
BoyBoy.BeleeueBelieve meme sirsir, thatthat willwill notnot doedo soso wellwell, ’tis’tis stalestale, itit
hashas beenebeen hadhad beforebefore atat thethe redred BullBull.
WifeWife.GeorgeGeorge letlet RafeRafe trauelltravel ouerover greatgreat hilshills, &and letlet himhim bebe ve-veryve∣ryvery
ry
wearyweary, andand comecome toto thethe KingKing ofof Cracouia’sCracovia’s househouse, coueredcovered
withwith veluetvelvet, andand therethere letlet thethe KingsKing’sking’s daughterdaughter standstand inin herher
windowwindow allall inin beatenbeaten goldgold, combingcombing herher goldengolden lockslocks withwith
aa combecomb ofof IuoryIvoryivory, andand letlet herher spyspy RafeRafe, andand fallfall inin louelove withwith
himhim, andand comecome downedown toto himhim, andand carrycarry himhim intointo herher fathersfather’s
househouse, andand thenthen letlet RafeRafe talketalk withwith herher.

H

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Cit.CitizenCit.WellWell saidsaid NellNell, itit shalshall bebe soso: boyboy let’slet’s ha’tha’thave’t donedone quicklyquickly.
BoyBoy.SirSir, ifif youyou willwill imagineimagine allall thisthis toto bebe donedone alreadyalready,
youyou shallshall hearehear themthem talketalk togethertogether: butbut weewe cannotcannot pre-presentpre∣sentpresent
sent
aa househouse coueredcovered withwith blackeblack veluetvelvet, andand aa LadyLady inin bea-beatenbea∣tenbeaten
ten
goldgold.
Cit.CitizenCit.SirSir boyboy, letslet’s ha’tha’thave’t asas youyou cancan thenthen.
BoyBoy.BesidesBesides itit willwill shewshow ill-fauouredlyill-favouredly toto hauehaue’ahavehave a aa Gro-GrocersGro∣cersGrocer’s
cer’s
prenticeprentice toto courtcourt aa kingsking’s daughterdaughter.
Cit.CitizenCit.WillWill itit soso sirsir? youyou areare wellwell readread inin HistoriesHistories: II praypray
youyou whatwhat waswas sirsir DagonetDagonet? waswas notnot hehe prenticeprentice toto aa GrocerGrocer
inin LondonLondon? readread thethe playplay ofof thethe FoureFourfour PrenticesPrentices ofof LondonLondon,
wherewhere theythey tossetoss theirtheir pikespikes soso: II praypray youyou fetchfetch himhim inin sirsir,
fetchfetch himhim inin.
BoyBoy.ItIt shallshall bebe donedone, itit isis notnot ourour faultfault gentlemengentlemen.ExitExit.
WifeWife.NowNow wewe shallshall seesee finefine doingsdoings II warrantwarrant tee’eetee GeorgeGeorge.
OO herehere theythey comecome; howhow pretilyprettily thethe kingking ofof Cracuioa’sCracovia’sCracuioa’s daugh-daughterdaugh∣terdaughter
ter
isis drestdressed.EnterEnter RafeRafe andand thethe LadyLady, SquireSquire andand dwarfedwarf.
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyI NellNell, itit isis thethe fashionfashion ofof thatthat countrycountry, II warrantwarrant tee’eetee.
LadyLady.WelcomeWelcome sirsir KnightKnight vntounto mymy fathersfather’s CourtCourt.
KingKing ofof MoldauiaMoldavia, vntounto meme PompionaPompiona
HisHis daughterdaughter deeredear: butbut suresure youyou dodo notnot likelike
YourYour entertainmententertainment, thatthat willwill staystay withwith vsus
NoNo longerlonger butbut aa nightnight.RafeRafe.DamsellDamsel rightright fairefair,
II amam onon manymany sadsad aduenturesadventures boundbound,
ThatThat callcall meme forthforth intointo thethe wildernessewilderness:
BesidesBesides, mymy horseshorse’s backeback isis somethingsomething gal’dgalled,
WhichWhich willwill inforceenforce meme rideride aa sobersober pacepace.
ButBut manymany thankesthanks (fairefair LadyLady) bebe toto youyou,
ForFor vsingusing erranterrant KnightKnight withwith curtesiecourtesy.
LadyLady.ButBut saysay (brauebrave knightknight) whatwhat isis youryour namename &and birthbirth?
RafeRafe.MyMy namename isis RafeRafe, II amam anan EnglishEnglish manman,
AsAs truetrue asas steelesteel, aa heartyhearty EnglishmanEnglishman,
AndAnd prenticeprentice toto aa GrocerGrocer inin thethe strondstrand,
ByBy deeddeed IndentIndent, ofof whichwhich II hauehave oneone partpart:
ButBut FortuneFortune callingcalling meme toto followfollow ArmesArms,
OnOn meme thisthis holyholy orderorder II diddid taketake,
OfOf BurningBurning pestlepestle, whichwhich inin allall mensmen’s eyeseyes,

I

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

II bearebear, confoundingconfounding LadiesLadies’ladies’ enemiesenemies.
LadyLady.OftOft hauehave II heardheard ofof youryour brauebrave country-mencountrymen,
AndAnd fertillfertile soylesoil, andand storestore ofof holesomewholesome foodfood:
MyMy FatherFather oftoft willwill telltell meme ofof aa drinkedrink
InIn EnglandEngland foundfound, andand NipitatoNippitatoNipitato cal’dcalled.
WhichWhich driuethdriveth allall thethe sorrowsorrow fromfrom youryour heartshearts.
RafeRafe.LadyLady ’tis’tis truetrue, youyou needneed notnot laylay youryour lipslips
ToTo betterbetter NipitatoNippitatoNipitato thenthan therethere isis.
LadyLady.AndAnd ofof aa wild-fowlewildfowl hehe willwill oftenoften speakespeak,
WhichWhich poudredpowdered beefebeef andand mustardmustard calledcalled isis:
ForFor therethere hauehave beenebeen greatgreat warreswars ’twixt’twixt vsus andand youyou,
ButBut trulytruly RafeRafe, itit waswas notnot longlong ofof meme.
TellTell meme thenthen RafeRafe, couldcould youyou contentedcontented bebe,
ToTo wearewear aa LadiesLady’slady’s fauourfavour inin youryour shieldshield?
RafeRafe.II amam aa knightknight ofof religiousreligious orderorder,
AndAnd willwill notnot wearewear aa fauourfavour ofof aa LadiesLady’slady’s
ThatThat truststrusts inin AntichristAntichrist, andand falsefalse traditionstraditions.
Cit.CitizenCit.WellWell saydsaid RafeRafe, conuertconvert herher ifif thouthou canstcanst.
RafeRafe.BesidesBesides, II hauehave aa LadyLady ofof mymy owneown
InIn merrymerry EnglandEngland, forfor whosewhose vertuousvirtuous sakesake
II tooketook thesethese ArmesArms, andand SusanSusan isis herher namename,
AA CoblersCobbler’scobbler’s maidmaid inin Milke-streetMilk-street, whomwhom II vowvow
NereNe’erne’er toto forsakeforsake, whilstwhilst lifelife andand PestlePestle lastlast.
LadyLady.HappyHappy thatthat CoblingCobbling damedame, who erewhowhoe’erwho ere ere sheshe bebe,
ThatThat forfor herher owneown (deeredear RafeRafe) hathhath gottengotten theethee.
VnhappyUnhappy II, thatthat nerene’er shallshall seesee thethe dayday
ToTo seesee theethee moremore, thatthat bearstbear’st mymy heartheart awayaway.
RafeRafe.LadyLady fare-wellfarewell, II needsneeds mustmust taketake mymy leaueleave.
LadyLady.Hard-hartedHard-heartedhard-hearted RafeRafe, thatthat LadiesLadies dostdost deceiuedeceive.
Cit.CitizenCit.HarkeHark theethee RafeRafe, there’sthere’s moneymoney forfor theethee; giuegive
somethingsomething inin thethe KingKing ofof Cracouia’sCracovia’s househouse, bebe notnot beholdingbeholding
toto himhim.
RafeRafe.LadyLady beforebefore II gogo, II mustmust rememberremember
YourYour fathersfather’s OfficersOfficers, whowho truthtruth toto telltell,
HaueHave beenebeen aboutabout meme veryvery diligentdiligent.
HoldHold vpup thythy snowysnowy handhand thouthou princelyprincely maidmaid,
There’sThere’s tweluetwelve pencepence forfor youryour fathersfather’s ChamberlaineChamberlain,

H2

And

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

AndAnd anotheranother shillingshilling forfor hishis CookeCook,
ForFor byby mymy trothtroth thethe GooseGoose waswas rostedroasted wellwell.
AndAnd twelue-pencetwelvepence forfor youryour fathersfather’s horse-keeperhorse-keeperhorsekeeper,
ForFor nointing’nointing mymy horsehorse’horse backeback; andand forfor hishis butterbutter
ThereThere isis anotheranother shillingshilling. ToTo thethe maidmaid
ThatThat wash’twashed mymy boot-hoseboot-hose, there’sthere’s anan EnglishEnglish groatgroat;
AndAnd twotwo pencepence toto thethe boyboy thatthat wip’twiped mymy bootsboots:
AndAnd lastlast, fairefair LadyLady, therethere isis forfor your selfeyourself
ThreeThree pencepence toto buybuy youyou pinspins atat BumboBumbo fairefair.
LadyLady.FullFull manymany thankesthanks, andand II willwill keepekeep themthem safesafe
TillTill allall thethe headsheads bebe offoff, forfor thythy sakesake RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.AduanceAdvance mymy SquireSquire andand DwarfeDwarf, II cannotcannot staystay.
LadyLady.ThouThou kilstkill’st mymy heartheart inin partingparting thusthus awayaway.ExeūtExeūtExeunt.
WifeWife.II commendcommend RafeRafe yetyet thatthat heehe willwill notnot stoopestoop toto aa
CracouianCraconianCracovianCraconian, there’sthere’s propererproperer womenwomen inin LondonLondon thenthan anyany areare
therethere I-wisIwis. ButBut heerehere comescomes MaisterMaster HumphreyHumphrey andand hishis louelove
againeagain nownow GeorgeGeorge.
Cit.CitizenCit.IAyI conycunnyconey, peacepeace.
EnterEnter MarchantMerchant, HumphreyHumphrey, LuceLuce andand aa BoyBoy.
March.MerchantMarch.GoGo getget youyou vpup, II willwill notnot bebe intreatedentreated.
AndAnd gossipgossip minemine, Il’eI’ll keepekeep youyou suresure hereafterhereafter
FromFrom gaddinggadding outout againeagain withwith boyesboys andand vnthriftsunthrifts,
ComeCome, theythey areare womenswomen’s tearestears, II knowknow youryour fashionfashion.
GoGo sirrahsirrah, lockelock herher inin, andand keepekeep thethe keykey,ExitExit LuceLuce
&and BoyBoy.
SafeSafe asas youyou louelove youryour lifelife. NowNow mymy sonneson HumfreyHumphrey,
YouYou maymay bothboth restrest assuredassured ofof mymy louelove
InIn thisthis, andand reapereap youryour owneown desiredesire.
Hum.HumphreyHum.II seesee thisthis louelove youyou speakespeak ofof, throughthrough youryour daughterdaughter,
AlthoughAlthough thethe holehole bebe littlelittle; andand hereafterhereafter
WillWill yeeldyield thethe likelike inin allall II maymay, oror cancan,
FittingFitting aa ChristianChristian, andand aa gentlemangentleman.
March.MerchantMarch.II dodo beleeuebelieve youyou (mymy goodgood sonneson) andand thankethank youyou:
ForFor ’twere’twere anan impudenceimpudence toto thinkethink youyou flatteredflattered.
Humph.HumphreyHumph.ItIt werewere indeedindeed, butbut shallshall II telltell youyou whywhy,
II hauehave beenebeen beatenbeaten twicetwice aboutabout thethe lyelie.
March.MerchantMarch.WellWell sonson, nono moremore ofof complementcompliment, mymy daughterdaughter
IsIs yoursyours againeagain; appointappoint thethe timetime, andand taketake herher,

Wee’le

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

We’leWe’ll hauehave nono stealingstealing forfor itit, II my selfemyself
AndAnd somesome fewfew ofof ourour friendsfriends willwill seesee youyou marriedmarried.
Hum.HumphreyHum.II wouldwould youyou wouldwould i’faithi’faith, forfor bebe itit knowneknown
II euerever waswas afraidafraid toto lielie alonealone.
March.MerchantMarch.SomeSome threethree daiesdays hencehence thenthen.
Hum.HumphreyHum.ThreeThree daiesdays, letlet meme seesee,
’Tis’Tis some-whatsomewhat ofof thethe mostmost, yetyet II agreeagree,
BecauseBecause II meanemean againstagainst thethe appointedappointed dayday,
ToTo visitevisit allall mymy friendsfriends inin newnew arrayarray.EnterEnter seruantservant.
Ser.ServantSer.SirSir, there’sthere’s aa GentlewomanGentlewoman withoutwithout wouldwould speakespeak
withwith youryour WorshipWorship.Merch.MerchantMerch.WhatWhat isis sheeshe?
Seru.ServantSeru.SirSir II asktasked herher notnot.
Merch.MerchantMerch.BidBid herher comecome inin.
EnterEnter mistressemistress Merry-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought andand MichaelMichael.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.PeacePeace bebe toto youryour WorshipWorship, II comecome asas aa poorepoor
SuterSuitor toto youyou sirsir, inin thethe behalfebehalf ofof thisthis childchild.
Merch.MerchantMerch.AreAre youyou notnot wifewife toto Merrie-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought?
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.YesYes truelytruly, wouldwould II hadhad nerene’er seeneseen hishis eieseleseyes, haha hashas
vndoneundone meme andand himselfehimself andand hishis childrenchildren, &and therethere hehe liueslives atat
homehome &and singssings, &and hoightshoitshoights, &and ReuelsRevels amongamong hishis drunkendrunken cō-coōpanionscō∣panionscompanionscoōpanions
panions,
butbut, II warrantwarrant youyou, wherewhere toto getget aa penypenny toto putput breadbread
inin hishis mouthmouth, hehe knowesknows notnot: andand thereforetherefore ifif itit likelike youryour
WorshipWorship, II wouldwould entreateentreat youryour letterletter, toto thethe honesthonest HostHost
ofof thethe BelBellbell inin VValthamWaltham, thatthat II maymay placeplace mymy childchild vnderunder
thethe protectionprotection ofof hishis TapsterTapster, inin somesome setledsettled coursecourse ofof lifelife.
Merch.MerchantMerch.I’meI’m gladglad thethe heauensheavens hauehave heardheard mymy prayersprayers: thythy (husbandhusband
VVhenWhen II waswas riperipe inin sorrowssorrows laughtlaughed atat meme,
ThyThy sonneson likelike anan vnthankefullunthankful wretchwretch, II hauinghaving
Redeem’dRedeemed himhim fromfrom hishis fallfall andand mademade himhim minemine,
ToTo shewshow hishis louelove againeagain, firstfirst stolestole mymy daughterdaughter,
ThenThen wrong’dwronged thisthis GentlemanGentleman, andand lastlast ofof allall,
GaueGave meme thatthat griefegrief, hadhad almostalmost broughtbrought meme downedown
VntoUnto mymy grauegrave, hadhad notnot aa strongerstronger handhand
Releiu’dRelieved mymy sorrowessorrows, gogo, andand weepeweep, asas II diddid
AndAnd bebe vnpittiedunpitied, forfor II heerehere professeprofess
AnAn euerlastingeverlasting hatehate toto allall thythy namename.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.VVillWillwill youyou soso sirsir, howhow saysay youyou byby thatthat? comecome

H3

Micke

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

MickeMick, letlet himhim keepekeep hishis windewind toto coolecool hishis PorragePorridgeporridge, we’lewe’ll
gogo toto thythy NurcesNurse’snurse’s MickemickMickmick, sheeshe knitsknits silkesilk stockingsstockings boyboy, andand
we’lewe’ll knitknit tootoo boyboy, andand beebe beholdingbeholding toto nonenone ofof themthem
allall.ExeuntExeunt MichaelMichael andand mothermother.
EnterEnter aa boyboy withwith aa letterletter.
BoyBoy.SirSir, II taketake itit youyou areare thethe MaisterMaster ofof thisthis househouse.
Merch.MerchantMerch.HowHow thenthen boyboy?
BoyBoy.ThenThen toto your selfeyourself sirsir comescomes thisthis letterletter.
Merch.MerchantMerch.FromFrom whomwhom mymy prettypretty BoyBoy?
BoyBoy.FromFrom himhim thatthat waswas youryour seruantservant, butbut nono moremore
ShallShall thatthat namename euerever bebe, forfor heehe isis deaddead,
GriefeGrief ofof youryour purchas’dpurchased angeranger brokebroke hishis heartheart,
II sawsaw himhim diedie, andand fromfrom hishis handhand receiu’dreceived
ThisThis paperpaper, withwith aa chargecharge toto bringbring itit hitherhither,
ReadeRead itit, andand satisfiesatisfy your selfeyourself inin allall.
LetterLetter.
March.MerchantMarch.SirSir, thatthat II hauehave wrongedwronged youryour louelove, II mustmust confesseconfess, inin
whichwhich II hauehave purchastpurchased toto my selfemyself.., besidesbesides mynemine owneown vndoingundoing, thethe
illill opinionopinion ofof mymy friendsfriends, letlet notnot youryour angeranger, goodgood sirsir, out liueoutoutliveout liue live meme, butbut
suffersuffer meeme toto restrest inin peacepeace withwith youryour forgiuenesseforgiveness; letlet mymy bodybody (ifif aa
dyingdying manman maymay soso muchmuch preuailepreuailsprevailprevails withwith youyou) beebe broughtbrought toto youryour
daughterdaughter, thatthat sheeshe maymay truelytruly knowknow mymy hotehatehothate flamesflames areare nownow buriedburied,
andand, withallwithal, receiuereceive aa testimonytestimony ofof thethe zealezeal II borebore herher vertuevirtue: fare-farewellfare∣wellfarewell
well
forfor euerever, andand bebe euerever happyhappy. IasperJasperjasper.

GodsGod’s handhand isis greatgreat inin thisthis, II dodo forgiueforforgivefor giue give himhim,
YetYet II amam gladglad he’she’s quietquiet, wherewhere II hopehope
HeHe willwill notnot bitebite againeagain: boyboy bringbring thethe bodybody
AndAnd letlet himhim hauehave hishis willwill, ifif thatthat bebe allall.
BoyBoy.’Tis’Tis herehere withoutwithout sirsir.March.MerchantMarch.SoSo sirsir, ifif youyou pleaseplease
YouYou maymay conductconduct itit inin, II dodo notnot fearefear itit.
Hump.HumphreyHump.I’leI’ll bebe youryour VsherUsher boyboy, forfor thoughthough II saysay itit,
HeHe ow’dowed meme somethingsomething onceonce, andand wellwell diddid paypay itit.ExeuntExeunt.
EnterEnter LuceLuce alonealone.
Luce.Luce.IfIf therethere bebe anyany punishmentpunishment inflictedinflicted
VponUpon thethe miserablemiserable, moremore thenthan yetyet II feelefeel,
LetLet itit togethertogether ceazeseizecease meme, andand atat onceonce

Presse

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

PressePress downedown mymy soulesoul, II cannotcannot bearebear thethe painepain
OfOf thesethese delayingdelaying torturestortures: thouthou thatthanthatthen artart
TheThe endend ofof allall, andand thethe sweetesweet restrest ofof allall;
ComeCome, comecome ôo deathdeath, bringbring meme toto thythy peacepeace,
AndAnd blotblot outout allall thethe memorymemory II nourishnourish
BothBoth ofof mymy fatherfather andand mymy cruellcruel friendfriend.
OO wretchedwretched maidemaid stillstill liuingliving toto bebe wretchedwretched,
ToTo bebe aa saysay toto fortunefortune inin herher changeschanges,
AndAnd growgrow toto numbernumber timestimes andand woeswoes togethertogether,
HowHow happyhappy hadhad II benebeen, ifif beingbeing borneborn
MyMy grauegrave hadhad benebeen mymy cradlecradle?EnterEnter seruantservant.
Ser.ServantSer.ByBy youryour leaueleave
YongYoung MistresseMistress, here’shere’s aa boyboy hathhath broughtbrought aa coffincoffin,
WhatWhat a’a wouldwould saysay II knowknow notnot, butbut youryour fatherfather
Charg’dCharged meme toto giuegive youyou noticenotice, herehere theythey comecome.
EnterEnter twotwo bearingbearing aa CoffinCoffin, IasperJasperjasper inin itit.
Luce.Luce.ForFor meme II hop’thoped ’tis’tis comecome, andand ’tis’tis mostmost welcomewelcome.
BoyBoy.FaireFair MistresseMistress letlet meme notnot addeadd greatergreater griefegrief
ToTo thatthat greatgreat storestore youyou hauehave alreadyalready; IasperJasperjasper
ThatThat whilstwhilst hehe liu’dlived waswas yoursyours, nownow deaddead,
AndAnd herehere enclos’denclosed, commandedcommanded meme toto bringbring
HisHis bodybody hitherhither, andand toto crauecrave aa tearetear
FromFrom thosethose fairefair eyeseyes, thoughthough hehe deseru’ddeserved notnot pittypity,
ToTo deckedeck hishis funerallfuneral, forfor soso hehe bidbid meme
TellTell herher forfor whomwhom hehe di’dedied.Luce.Luce.HeHe shallshall hauehave manymany:
GoodGood friendsfriends departdepart aa littlelittle, whilstwhilst II taketakeExeuntExeunt CoffinCoffin
carriercarrier &and boyboy.
MyMy leaueleave ofof thisthis deaddead manman, thatthat onceonce II lou’dloved:
HoldHold, yetyet aa littlelittle, lifelife andand thenthen II giuegive theethee
ToTo thythy firstfirst heauenlyheavenly beingbeing; OOOh mymy friendfriend!
HastHast thouthou deceiu’ddeceived meme thusthus, andand gotgot beforebefore meme?
II shallshall notnot longlong beebe afterafter, butbut beleeuebelieve meme,
ThouThou wertwert tootoo cruellcruel IasperJasperjasper gainst’gainst thy selfethyself,
InIn punishingpunishing thethe faultfault, II couldcould hauehave pardonedpardoned,
WithWith soso vntimelyuntimely deathdeath; thouthou didstdidst notnot wrongwrong meme,
ButBut euerever wer’twertwere’t mostmost kindkind, mostmost truetrue, mostmost louingloving;
AndAnd II thethe mostmost vnkindunkind, mostmost falsefalse, mostmost cruellcruel.
DidstDidst thouthou butbut askeask aa tearetear? Il’eI’ll giuegive theethee allall,

Euen

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The Knight of the burning Pestle

EuenEven allall mymy eieseyes cancan powrepour downedown, allall mymy sigh’ssighs
AndAnd allall my selfemyself, beforebefore thouthou goestgoest fromfrom meme
ThereThere areare butbut sparingsparing ritesrites: ButBut ifif thythy soulesoul
BeBe yetyet aboutabout thisthis placeplace, andand cancan beholdbehold
AndAnd seesee whatwhat II prepareprepare toto deckedeck theethee withwith,
ItIt shallshall gogo vpup, borneborne onon thethe wingswings ofof peacepeace
AndAnd satisfiedsatisfied: firstfirst willwill II singsing thythy dirgedirge,
ThenThen kissekiss thythy palepale lipslips, andand thenthen diedie my selfemyself,
AndAnd fillfill oneone CoffinCoffin andand oneone grauegrave togethertogether.
SongSong.
ComeCome youyou whosewhose louesloves areare deaddead,
AndAnd whileswhiles II singsing
WeepeWeep andand wringwring
EueryEvery handhand andand eueryevery headhead,
BindBind withwith CipresCypresscypress andand sadsad EweYewEwe,
RibandsRibandsRibbons blackeblack, andand candlescandles blewblue,
ForFor himhim thatthat waswas ofof menmen mostmost truetrue.

ComeCome withwith heauyheavy mourningmourning,
AndAnd onon hishis grauegrave
LetLet himhim hauehave
SacrificeSacrifice ofof sighessighs andand groaninggroaning,
LetLet himhim hauehave fairefair flowersflowers enowenowenough,
WhiteWhite andand purplepurple, greenegreen andand yellowyellow,
ForFor himhim thatthat waswas ofof menmen mostmost truetrue.

ThouThou sablesable clothcloth, sadsedsadsaid couercover ofof mymy ioiesjoys
II liftlift theethee vpup, andand thusthus II meetemeet withwith deathdeath.
Iasp.JasperIasp.AndAnd thusthus youyou meetemeet thethe liuingliving..LuceLuce.LuceLuce...SaueSave meme heauenheaven.
Ias.JasperIas.NayNay dodo notnot fliefly meme fairefair, II amam nono spiritspirit,
LookeLook betterbetter onon meme, dodo youyou knowknow meme yetyet?
Luce.Luce.OO thouthou deeredear shadowshadow ofof mymy friendfriend.
Iasp.JasperIasp.DeereDear substancesubstance,
II sweareswear II amam nono shadowshadow, feelefeel mymy handhand,
ItIt isis thethe samesame itit waswas, II amam youryour IasperJasperjasper,
YourYour IasperJasperjasper that’sthat’s yetyet liuingliving, andand yetyet louingloving,
PardonPardon mymy rashrash attemptattempt, mymy foolishfoolish proofeproof

I

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

II putput inin practisepractice ofof youryour constancyconstancy,
ForFor soonersooner shouldshould mymy swordsword hauehave drunkedrunk mymy bloudblood,
AndAnd setset mymy soulesoul atat libertyliberty, thenthanthen drawnedrawn
TheThe leastleast dropdrop fromfrom thatthat bodybody; forfor whichwhich boldnesseboldness
DoomeDoom meme toto anyany thingthing: ifif deathdeath II taketake itit
AndAnd willinglywillingly.Luce.Luce.ThisThis deathdeath I’leI’ll giuegive youyou forfor itit,
SoSo, nownow II amam satisfiedsatisfied: youyou areare nono spiritspirit,
ButBut mymy owneown truesttruest, truesttruest, truesttruest friendfriend,
VVhyWhy doedo youyou comecome thusthus toto meeme.
IasperJasperjasper.FirstFirst toto seesee youyou,
ThenThenThan toto conueyconvey youyou hencehence.
Luce.Luce.ItIt cannotcannot beebe,
ForFor II amam locktlocked vpup herehere andand watchtwatched atat allall howershours,
ThatThat ’tis’tis impossibleimpossible forfor meme toto scapescape.
Iasp.JasperIasp.NothingNothing moremore possiblepossible, withinwithin thisthis coffincoffin
DoDo youyou conueyconvey your selfeyourself, letlet meme alonealone,
II hauehave thethe witswits ofof twentytwenty menmen aboutabout meme,
OnelyOnly II crauecrave thethe sheltershelter ofof youryour ClosetCloset
AA littlelittle, andand thenthen fearefear meme notnot; creepecreep inin
ThatThat theythey maymay presentlypresently conueyconvey youyou hencehence:
FeareFear nothingnothing deerestdearest louelove, Il’eI’ll bebe youryour secondsecond,
LieLie closeclose, soso, allall goesgoes wellwell yetyet; BoyBoy.
BoyBoy.AtAt handhand sirsir.
Iasp.JasperIasp.ConueyConvey awayaway thethe CoffinCoffin, andand bebe warywary.
BoyBoy.’Tis’Tis donedone alreadyalready.
Iasp.JasperIasp.NowNow mustmust II gogo coniureconjure.ExitExit.
EnterEnter MerchantMerchant.
Merch.MerchantMerch.BoyBoy, BoyBoy.
BoyBoy.YourYour seruantservant sirsir.
March.MerchantMarch.DoDo meme thisthis kindnessekindness BoyBoy, holdhold here’shere’s aa crownecrown:
BeforeBefore thouthou burybury thethe bodybody ofof thisthis fellowfellow, carrycarry itit toto hishis
oldold meriemerry fatherfather, andand salutesalute himhim fromfrom meeme, andand bidbid himhim singsing,
hehe hathhath causecause.
BoyBoy.II willwill sirsir.
Merch.MerchantMerch.AndAnd thenthen bringbring meme wordword whatwhat tunetune hehe isis inin,
andand hauehave anotheranother crownecrown: butbut dodo itit truelytruly.
II hauehave fittedfitted himhim aa bargainebargain, nownow, willwill vexvex himhim.

I

Boy

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

BoyBoy.GodGod blessebless youryour VVorshipsWorship’sworship’s healthhealth sirsir.
March.MerchantMarch.Fare-wellFarewell boyboy.ExeuntExeunt.
EnterEnter MaisterMaster Merrie-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought.
WifeWife.AhAh oldold Merry-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, artart thouthou therethere againeagain, let’slet’s
herehearhere somesome ofof thythy songssongs.
OldOld Mer.MerrythoughtMer.WhoWho cancan singsing aa merriermerrier noatenote,
ThenThan hehe thatthat cannotcannot changechange aa groatgroat?
NotNot aa DenierDenier leftleft, andand yetyet mymy heartheart leapesleaps, II dodo wonderwonder
yetyet, asas oldold asas II amam, thatthat anyany manman willwill followfollow aa TradeTrade, oror
serueserve, thatthat maymay singsing andand laughlaugh, andand walkewalk thethe streetesstreets, mymy
wifewife andand bothboth mymy sonnessons areare II knowknow notnot wherewhere, II hauehave no-nothingno∣thingnothing
thing
leftleft, nornor knowknow II howhow toto comecome byby meatemeat toto suppersupper, yetyet
amam II merrymerry stillstill; forfor II knowknow II shallshall findefind itit vponupon thethe TableTable atat
sixesix a clockeo’clock, thereforetherefore hanghang ThoughtThought.
II wouldwould notnot bebe aa SeruigmanScruigmanServingmanservingman toto carrycarry thethe cloke-bagcloak-bag stillstill,
NorNor wouldwould II bebe aa FawleconerFalconerfalconer thethe greedygreedy HawkesHawlkeshawks toto fillfill.
ButBut II wouldwould bebe inin aa goodgood househouse, &and hauehave aa goodgood MaisterMaster tootoo.
ButBut II wouldwould eateat &and drinkdrink ofof thethe bestbest, &and nono workwork wouldwould II dodo.
ThisThis isis itit thatthat keepeskeeps lifelife andand soulesoul togethertogether, mirthmirth, thisthis
isis thethe PhilosophersPhilosopher’sphilosopher’s stonestone thatthat theythey writewrite soso muchmuch onon, thatthat
keepeskeeps aa manman euerever yongyoung.
EnterEnter aa BoyBoy.
BoyBoy.SirSir, theythey saysay theythey knowknow allall youryour monymoney isis gonegone, andand
theythey willwill trusttrust youyou forfor nono moremore drinkedrink.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.WillWill theythey notnot? letlet am’emam choosechoose, thethe bestbest isis II hauehave
mirthmirth atat homehome, andand needeneed notnot sendsend abroadabroad forfor thatthat, letlet themthem
keepekeep theirtheir drinkedrink toto themseluesthemselves.
ForFor IillianJillianjillian ofof BerryBerry sheeshe dwelsdwells onon aa HillHill,
AndAnd sheeshe hathhath goodgood BeereBeer andand AleAle toto sellsell.
AndAnd ofof goodgood fellowesfellows sheshe thinksthinks nono illill,
AndAnd thetherthither willwill wewe gogo nownow, nownow, nownow, nownow, andand thetherthither
WillWill weewe gogo nownow.
AndAnd whenwhen youyou hauehave mademade aa littlelittle staystay,
YouYou needneed notnot askeask whatwhat isis toto paypay,
ButBut kissekiss youryour HostesseHostess andand gogo youryour wayway, AndAnd thitherthither, &c.etc.
EnterEnter anotheranother BoyBoy.
2.2. BoyBoy.SirSir, II cancan getget nono breadbread forfor suppersupper.

Old mer.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.HangHang breadbread andand suppersupper, let’slet’s preseruepreserve ourour mirthmirth,
andand wewe shallshall neuernever feelefeel hungerhunger, I’leI’ll warrantwarrant youyou, let’slet’s hauehave
aa CatchCàtchCatchCàtch, boyboy followfollow meme, comecomesingsing thisthis CatchCatch.
HoHo, hoho, no bodynobody atat homehome, meatemeat, nornor drinkedrink, nornor moneymoney haha’ weewe
nonenone, fillfill thethe potpot EedyEedy, neuernever moremore needneed II.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.SoSo boiesboys enoughenough, followfollow meeme, let’slet’s changechange ourour
placeplace andand wewe shallshall laughlaugh afreshafresh.
ExeuntExeunt.
WifeWife.LetLet himhim goego GeorgeGeorge, a’a shallshall notnot hauehave anyany counte-countenancecounte∣nancecountenance
nance
fromfrom vsus, nornor aa goodgood wordword fromfrom anyany i’th’i’th’ CompanyCompany, ifif
II maymay strikestrike strokestroke in’tin’t.
Cit.CitizenCit.NoNo moremore a’aa shannotsha’not louelove; butbut NelNell II willwill hauehave RaphRafeRaph
doedo aa veryvery notablenotable mattermatter nownow, toto thethe eternalleternal honourhonour
andand gloryglory ofof allall GrocersGrocers, sirrahsirrah youyou therethere boyboy, cancan nonenone ofof
youyou hearehear?
BoyBoy.SirSir, youryour pleasurepleasure.
Cit.CitizenCit.LetLet RaphRafeRaph comecome outout onon May-dayMay dayMay-day inin thethe morningmorning andand
speakespeak vponupon aa ConduitConduit withwith allall hishis ScarfesScarves aboutabout himhim, andand hishis
fethersfeathers andand hishis ringsrings andand hishis knacksknacks.
BoyBoy.WhyWhy sirsir youyou dodo notnot thinkethink ofof ourour plotplot, whatwhat willwill be-becomebe∣comebecome
come
ofof thatthat thenthen?
Cit.CitizenCit.WhyWhy sirsir, II carecare notnot whatwhat becomebecome on’ton’t, I’leI’ll hauehave himhim
comecome outout, oror I’leI’ll fetchfetch himhim outout my selfemyself, I’leI’ll hauehave some-somethingsome∣thingsomething
thing
donedone inin honorhonour ofof thethe CittyCity, besidesbesides, hehe hathhath benebeen longlong
enoughenough vponupon AduenturesAdventures, bringbring himhim outout quickelyquickly, oror ifif II
comecome inin amongstamongst youyou —
BoyBoy.WellWell sirsir heehe shallshall comecome outout, butbut ifif ourour playplay miscar-miscarrymiscar∣rymiscarry
ry,
sirsir youyou areare likelike toto paypay for’tfor’t.
ExitExit BoyBoy.
Cit.CitizenCit.BringBring himhim awayaway thenthen.
WifeWife.ThisThis willwill bebebrauebe brauebrave i’faithi’faith, GeorgeGeorge shallshall notnot hehe dancedance
thethe morricemorris tootoo forfor thethe creditcredit ofof thethe StrandStrand.
Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.NoNo sweetesweet heartheart itit willwill beebe tootoo muchmuch forfor thethe boyboy,
ôo therethere hehe isis NelNell, hee’she’s reasonablereasonable wellwell inin reparellreparel, butbut heehe
hashas notnot ringsrings enoughenough.
EnterEnter RaphRaph.RafeRaph...
Raph.RafeRaph.LondonLondon, toto theethee II dodo presentpresent thethe merrymerry MonthMonth ofof MayMay

I2

Let

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

LetLet eacheach truetrue SubiectSubject bebe contentcontent toto hearehear meme whatwhat II saysay:
ForFor fromfrom thethe toptop ofof ConduitConduit headhead, asas plainelyplainly maymay appeareappear,
II willwill bothboth telltell mymy namename toto youyou andand whereforewherefore II camecame heerehere.
MyMy namename isis RaphRafeRaph, byby duedue discentdescent, thoughthough notnot ignobleignoble II,
YetYet farfar inferiorinferior toto thethe FlockeFlock ofof gratiousgracious GroceryGrocery.
AndAnd byby thethe Common-councellCommon counselCommon-council, ofof mymy fellowesfellows inin thethe StrandStrand,
WithWith guildedgildedguilded StaffeStaff, andand crossedcrossed SkarfeScarf, thethe May-lordMay lordMay-lord herehere II standstand.
ReioyceRejoice, ôo EnglishEnglish heartshearts, reioycerejoice, reioycerejoice ôo LouersLovers deeredear,
ReioyceRejoice ôo CittyCity, TowneTown, andand CountryCountry, reioycerejoice ekeeke eueryevery ShireShire;
ForFor nownow thethe fragrantfragrant FlowersFlowers dodo springspring andand sproutsprout inin seemelyseemly sortsort,
TheThe littlelittle BirdsBirds dodo sitsit andand singsing, thethe LambesLambs dodo makemake finefine sportsport.
AndAnd nownow thethe BurchinBirchenBurchin TreeTree dothdoth budbud thatthat maksmakes thethe Schoole boySchooleSchoolboySchool boy boy crycry
TheThe MorriceMorrismorris ringsrings whilewhile Hobby-horseHobby-horse dothdoth footefoot itit feateouslyfeatouslyfeateously:
TheThe LordsLords andand LadiesLadies nownow abroadabroad forfor theirtheir disportdisport andand playplay,
DoDo kissekiss sometimessometimes vponupon thethe GrasseGrass, andand sometimessometimes inin thethe HeyHey.
NowNow ButterButter withwith aa leafeleaf ofof SageSage isis goodgood toto PurgePurge thethe bloudblood,
FlyFly VenusVenus andand PhlebotomyPhlebotomy forfor theythey areare neitherneither goodgood.
NowNow littlelittle fishfish onon tendertender stonestone, beginnebegin toto castcast theirtheir belliesbellies,
AndAnd sluggishsluggish snailssnails, thatthat ersterst werewere mutemute, dodo creepcreep outout ofof theirtheir sheliesshellssheliesshelliesshells
TheThe rumblingrumbling RiuersRivers nownow dodo warmewarm forfor littlelittle boiesboys toto padlepaddle,
TheThe sturdysturdy SteedeSteed, nownow goesgoes toto grassegrass, andand vpup theythey hanghang hishis saddlesaddle.
TheThe heauyheavy HartHartHeart, thethe bellowingbellowing BuckeBuck, thethe RascalRascal andand thethe PricketPricket,
AreAre nownow amongamong thethe YeomansYeoman’syeoman’s PeasePease, andand leaueleave thethe fearefullfearful thicketthicket.
AndAnd bebe likelike themthem, ôo youyou, II saysay, ofof thisthis samesame noblenoble TowneTown,
AndAnd liftlift aloftaloft youryour veluetvelvet headsheads, andand slippingslipping ofoffof youryour gownegown:
WithWith belsbells onon legslegs, andand napkinsnapkins cleaneclean vntounto youryour shouldersshoulders tidetiedtide,
WithWith ScarfesScarves &and GartersGarters asas youyou pleaseplease, &and HeyHeyHeigh forfor ourour TownTown cri’dcried
MarchMarch outout andand shewshow youryour willingwilling mindsminds byby twentytwenty andand byby twentytwenty,
ToTo HogsdonHogsdon oror toto NewingtonNewington, wherewhere AleAle andand CakesCakes areare plentyplenty:
AndAnd letlet itit nerene’er bebe saidsaid, forfor shameshame, thatthat wewe thethe youthsyouths ofof LondonLondon,
LayLay thrummingthrumming ofof ourour CapsCaps atat homehome, andand leftleft ourour customecustom vndoneundone.
VpUp thenthen, II saysay, bothboth yongyoung andand oldold, bothboth manman andand maidemaid a Mayinga-Maying
WithWith DrumsDrums andand GunsGuns thatthat bouncebounce alowdaloud, &and merymerry TaberTaborTaber playingplaying.
VVhichWhich toto prolongprolong, GodGod sauesave ourour KingKing, andand sendsend hishis CountryCountry peacepeace
AndAnd rooteroot outout TreasonTreason fromfrom thethe LandLand, andand soso, mymy friendsfriends II ceasecease.
FinisFinis Act.ActusAct. 4.4.

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ActusActus 5.5. ScœnaScoenaScoena primaprima.

EnterEnter MarchantMerchant, solussolus.

March.MerchantMarch.II willwill hauehave nono greatgreat storestore ofof companycompany atat thethe wed-weddingwed∣dingwedding
ding,
aa cupplecouple ofof neighboursneighbours andand theirtheir wiueswives, andand weewe willwill
hauehave aa CaponCapon inin stewedstewed brothbroth, withwith marrowmarrow, andand aa goodgood
peecepiece ofof beefebeef, stuckestuck withwith rose-maryrosemary.

EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper, hishis faceface mealedmealed.
Iasp.JasperIasp.ForbeareForbear thythy painespains fondfond manman, itit isis tootoo latelate.
March.MerchantMarch.HeauenHeaven blessebless meme: IasperJasperjasper?
Iasp.JasperIasp.IAyay, II amam hishis GhostGhost
WhomWhom thouthou hasthast iniur’dinjured forfor hishis constantconstant louelove:
FondFond worldlyworldly wretchwretch, whowho dostdost notnot vnderstandunderstand
InIn deathdeath thatthat truetrue heartshearts cannotcannot partedparted bebe.
FirstFirst knowknow thythy daughterdaughter isis quitequite borneborneborn awayaway,
OnOn wingswings ofof AngelsAngels, throughthrough thethe liquidliquid aireair,
ToTooTo farrefar outout ofof thythy reachreach, andand neuernever moremore
ShaltShalt thouthou beholdbehold herher faceface: ButBut sheeshe andand II
WillWill inin anotheranother worldworld enioyenjoy ourour louesloves,
WhereWhere neitherneither fathersfather’s angeranger, pouertiepoverty,
NorNor anyany crossecross thatthat troublestroubles earthlyearthly menmen
ShallShall makemake vsus seuersever ourour vnitedunited heartshearts.
AndAnd neuernever shaltshalt thouthou sitsit, oror bebe alonealone
InIn anyany placeplace, butbut II willwill visitvisit theethee
WithWith gastlyghastly lookeslooks, andand putput intointo thythy mindemind
TheThe greatgreat offencesoffences wichwhich thouthou didstdidst toto meme.
WhenWhen thouthou artart atat thythy TableTable withwith thythy friendsfriends
MerryMerry inin heartheart, audand fildfilled withwith swellingswelling winewine,
Il’eI’ll comecome inin midstmidst ofof allall thythy pridepride andand mirthmirth,
InuisibleInvisible toto allall menmen butbut thy selfethyself,
AndAnd whisperwhisper suchsuch aa sadsad taletale inin thinethine eareear,
ShallShall makemake theethee letlet thethe CuppeCup fallfall fromfrom thythy handhand,
AndAnd standstand asas mutemute andand palepale asas DeathDeath it selfeitself.
March.MerchantMarch.ForgiueForgive meme IasperJasperjasper; Oh!Oh! whatwhat mightmight II doedo?

I3

Tell

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

TellTell meme, toto satisfiesatisfy thythy trobledtroubledtrobled GhostGhost?
Iasp.JasperIasp.ThereThere isis nono meanesmeans, tootoo latelate thouthou thinkstthink’stthinkst ofof thisthis.
March.MerchantMarch.ButBut telltell meme whatwhat werewere bestbest forfor meme toto doedo?
Iasp.JasperIasp.RepentRepent thythy deededeed, andand satisfiesatisfy mymy fatherfather,
AndAnd beatbeat fondfond HumphreyHumphrey outout ofof thythy doresdoors,ExitExit IasperJasperjasper.
EnterEnter HumphreyHumphrey.
WifeWife.LookeLook GeorgeGeorge, hishis veryvery GhostGhost wouldwould hauehave folkesfolks
beatenbeaten.
Humph.HumphreyHumph.FatherFather, mymy bridebride isis gonegone, fairefair mistressemistress LuceLuce,
MyMy soule’ssoul’s thethe fountfount ofof vengeancevengeance, mischiefesmischief’s slucesluice.
March.MerchantMarch.HenceHence foolefool outout ofof mymy sightsight, withwith thythy fondfond passionpassion
ThouThou hasthast vndoneundone meme.
Humph.HumphreyHumph.HoldHold mymy fatherfather deeredear,
ForFor LuceLuce thythy daughtersdaughter’s sakesake, thatthat hadhad nono peerepeer.
Mar.MerchantMar.ThyThy fatherfather foolefool? there’sthere’s somesome blowsblows moremore, begonebegone.
IasperJasperjasper, II hopehope thythy GhostGhost beebe wellwell appeasedappeased,
ToTo seesee thythy willwill performdperformed, nownow willwill II gogo
ToTo satisfiesatisfy thythy fatherfather forfor thythy wrongswrongs.ExitExit.
Humph.HumphreyHumph.WhatWhat shallshall II doedo? II hauehave beenebeen beatenbeaten twicetwice,
AndAnd mistressemistress LuceLuce isis gonegone? helpehelp meme deuicedevice:
SinceSince mymy true-louetrue lovetrue-Love isis gonegone, II neuernever moremore,
WhilstWhilst II dodo liuelive, vponupon thethe skysky willwill porepore;
ButBut inin thethe darkedark willwill wearewear outout mymy shooe-solesshoe-soles
InIn passionpassion, inin SaintSaint FaithsFaith’sfaith’s ChurchChurch vnderunder PaulesPaul’s.ExitExit.
WifeWife.GeorgeGeorge callcall RafeRafe hitherhither, ifif youyou louelove meme callcall RafeRafe hi-hitherhi∣therhither
ther,
II hauehave thethe brauestbravest thingthing forfor himhim toto dodo GeorgeGeorge; pre’theeprithee
callcall himhim quicklyquickly.
Cit.CitizenCit.RafeRafe, whyWhyWhywhy RafeRafe boyboy.EnterEnter RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.HeereHere sirsir.
Cit.CitizenCit.ComeCome hitherhither RafeRafe, comecome toto thythy mistressemistress boyboy.
WifeWife.RafeRafe II wouldwould hauehave theethee callcall allall thethe youthesyouths togethertogether
inin battle-raybattle ’raybattle-ray, withwith drumsdrums, andand gunsguns, andand flagsflags, andand marchmarch toto
MileMile endend inin pompouspompous fashionfashion, andand therethere exhortexhort youryour Souldi-SouldiersSouldi∣ersSoldiers
ers
toto bebe merrymerry andand wisewise, andand toto keepekeep theirtheir beardsbeards fromfrom bur-burningbur∣ningburning
ning
RafeRafe, andand thenthen skirmishskirmish, andand letlet youryour flaggesflags flyefly, andand
crycry killkill, killkill, killkill: mymy husbandhusband shallshall lendlend youyou hishis IerkinJerkinjerkin RafeRafe,
andand there’sthere’s aa scarfescarf; forfor thethe restrest, thethe househouse shallshall furnishfurnish youyou,

and

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

andand wee’lwe’ll paypay for’tfor’t: doedo itit brauelybravely RafeRafe, andand thinkethink beforebefore
whomwhom youyou performeperform, andand whatwhat personperson youyou representrepresent.
RafeRafe.II warrantwarrant youyou mistressemistress ifif II dodo itit notnot forfor thethe honourhonour
ofof thethe CittyCity, andand thethe creditcredit ofof mymy maistermaster, letlet meme neuernever hopehope
forfor freedomefreedom.
WifeWife.’Tis’Tis wellwell spokenspoken IfaithI faithI’faithi’faith; gogo thythy wayesways, thouthou artart aa
sparkespark indeedindeed.
Cit.CitizenCit.RafeRafe, RafeRafe, doubledouble youryour filesfiles brauelybravely RafeRafe.
RafeRafe.II warrantwarrant youyou sirsir.ExitExit RafeRafe.
Cit.CitizenCit.LetLet himhim lookelook narrowlynarrowly toto hishis seruiceservice, II shallshall taketake
himhim elseelse, II waswas therethere my selfemyself aa pike-manpikeman onceonce inin thethe hottesthottest
ofof thethe dayday, wenchwench; hadhad mymy featherfeather shotshot sheeresheer awayaway, thethe
fringefringe ofof mymy pikepike burntburntburned offoff withwith powderpowder, mymy patepate brokenbroken
withwith aa scouring-stickescouring-stick, andand yetyet II thankethank GodGod II amam heerehere.
DrumDrum withinwithin.
WifeWife.HarkeHark GeorgeGeorge thethe drumsdrums.
Cit.CitizenCit.RanRan, tantan, tantan, tantan; ranran, tantan: OOOh wenchwench anan thouthou hadsthadst
butbut seeneseen littlelittle NedNed ofof AlgateAldgateAlgate, drumdrum NedNed, howhow heehe mademade itit
roreroar againeagain, andand laydlaid onon likelike aa tyranttyrant: andand thenthen strokestroke softlysoftly
tilltill thethe wardward camecame vpup, andand thenthen thundredthundered againeagain, andand toge-togethertoge∣thertogether
ther
wewe gogo: sasa, sasa, sasa, bouncebounce quothquoth thethe gunsguns: couragecourage mymy
heartshearts, quothquoth thethe CaptainesCaptains: SaintSaint GeorgeGeorge, quothquoth thethe pike-pike∣menpikemenpike∣men
men;
andand withallwithal herehere theythey laylay, andand therethere theythey laylay: AndAnd yetyet
forfor allall thisthis II amam heerehere wenchwench.
WifeWife.BeBe thankfullthankful forfor itit GeorgeGeorge, forfor indeedindeed ’tis’tis wonder-wonderfullwonder∣full
fullwonderful.
EnterEnter RafeRafe andand hishis companycompany withwith DrummesDrums andand colourscolours.
RafeRafe.MarchMarch fairefair mymy heartshearts, LieuetenantLieutenant beatebeat thethe rearerear
vpup: AncientAncient, letlet youryour colourscolours flyefly; butbut hauehave aa greatgreat carecare ofof
thethe ButchersButcher’sbutcher’s hookeshooks atat white-ChappellwhitechapelWhitechapel, theythey hauehave beenebeen
thethe deathdeath ofof manymany aa fairefair AncientAncient. OpenOpen youryour filesfiles thatthat II
maymay taketake aa viewview bothboth ofof youryour personspersons andand munitionmunition: Serge-SergeantSerge∣antSergeant
ant
callcall aa mustermuster.
Serg.SergeantSerg.AA standstand, WilliamWilliam HamertonHamerton peutererpewterer.
Ham.HammertonHam.HereHere CaptaineCaptain.
RafeRafe.AA CorsletCorslet, andand aa spanishspanish pikepike; ’tis’tis wellwell, cancan youyou
shakeshake itit withwith aa terrorterror?

Ham.

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

Ham.HammertonHam.II hopehope soso CaptaineCaptain.
RafeRafe.ChargeCharge vponupon meme, ’tis’tis withwith thethe weakestweakest: putput moremore
strengthstrength WilliamWilliam HammertonHammerton, moremore strengthstrength: asas youyou werewere a-againea∣gaineagain
gaine.
ProceedProceed SergeantSergeant.
Serge.SergeantSerge.GeorgeGeorge Greene-gooseGreengooseGreen-goose, PoultererPoulterer?
GreeneGreengooseGreene.HeereHere.
RafeRafe.LetLet meme seesee youryour peecepiece neighbourneighbour Greene-gooseGreengooseGreen-goose, whenwhen
waswas sheshe shotshot inin?
GreeneGreengooseGreene.AndAnd likelike youyou maistermaster CaptaineCaptain, II mademade aa shotshot eueneven
nownow, partlypartly toto scourescour herher, andand partlypartly forfor audacityaudacity.
RafeRafe.ItIt shouldshould seemeseem soso certainelycertainly, forfor herher breathbreath isis yetyet
inflamedinflamed: besidesbesides, therethere isis aa mainemain faultfault inin thethe touch-holetouchhole,
itit runnesruns, andand stinkethstinketh; andand II telltell youyou moreouermoreover, andand be-beleeuebe∣leeuebelieve
leeue
itit: TenTen suchsuch touch-holestouchholestouch-holes wouldwould breedbreed thethe poxpox inin thethe
ArmyArmy. GetGet youyou aa featherfeather, neighbourneighbour, getget youyou aa featherfeather, sweetsweet
oyleoil, andand paperpaper, andand youryour peecepiece maymay dodo wellwell enoughenough yetyet.
Where’sWhere’s youryour powderpowder?
GreeneGreengooseGreene.HeereHere.
RafeRafe.WhatWhat inin aa paperpaper? AsAs II amam aa SouldierSoldier, andand Gentle-GentlemanGentle∣manGentleman
man,
itit crauescraves aa MartiallMartial CourtCourt: youyou oughtought toto dyedie for’tfor’t.
Where’sWhere’s youryour hornehorn? answereanswer meme toto thatthat.
GreeneGreengooseGreene.An’tAn’t likelike youyou sirsir, II waswas obliuiousoblivious.
RafeRafe.ItIt likeslikes meme notnot youyou shouldshould beebe soso; ’tis’tis aa shameshame forfor
youyou, andand aa scandallscandal toto allall ourour neighboursneighbours, beeingbeing aa manman ofof
worthworth andand estimationestimation, toto leaueleave youryour hornehorn behindebehind youyou: II
amam afraidafraid ’twill’twill breedbreed exampleexample. ButBut letlet meme telltell youyou nono moremore
on’ton’t; standstand, tilltill II viewview youyou allall. What’sWhat’s becomebecome o’tho’th’o’th nosenose ofof
youryour flaskeflask?
1.1. SouldierSoldier.IndeedIndeed lawla CaptaineCaptain, ’twas’twas blowneblown awayaway
withwith powderpowder.
RafeRafe.PutPut onon aa newnew oneone atat thethe CitiesCity’s chargecharge. WheresWhere’s thethe
stonestone ofof thisthis peecepiece?
2.2. SouldierSoldier.TheThe DrummerDrummer tooketook itit outout toto lightlight To-TobaccoTo∣bacco
baccoTobacco.
RafeRafe.’Tis’Tis aa faultfault mymy friendfriend, putput itit inin againeagain: YouYou wantwant aa
NoseNose, andand youyou aa StoneStone; SergeantSergeant, taketake aa notenote on’ton’t, forfor II
meanemean toto stoppestop itit inin thethe paypay. RemoueRemove andand marchmarch, softsoft andand

faire

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

fairefair GentlemenGentlemen, softsoft andand fairefair: doubledouble youryour filesfiles, asas youyou
werewere, facesfaces aboutabout. NowNow youyou withwith thethe soddensodden faceface, keepekeep inin
therethere: lookelook toto youryour matchmatch sirrahsirrah, itit willwill bebe inin youryour fellowesfellow’s
flaskeflask anoneanon. SoSo, makemake aa crescentcrescent nownow, aduanceadvance youryour pikespikes,
standstand andand giuegive eareear. GentlemenGentlemen, Countrey-menCountrymen, FriendsFriends,
andand mymy fellow-Souldiersfellow Soldiersfellow-soldiers, II hauehave broughtbrought youyou thisthis dayday fromfrom
thethe ShopsShops ofof SecuritySecurity, andand thethe CountersCounters ofof ContentContent, toto mea-measuremea∣suremeasure
sure
outout inin thesethese furiousfurious fieldsfields, HonourHonour byby thethe ellell; andand pro-prowessepro∣wesseprowess
wesse
byby thethe poundpound: LetLet itit notnot, ôo letlet itit notnot, II saysay, beebe toldtold
hereafterhereafter, thethe noblenoble issueissue ofof thisthis CitieCity faintedfainted: butbut bearebear your your seluesyourselvesyour selues
selues
inin thisthis fairefair actionaction, likelike menmen, valiantvaliant menmen, andand free-free∣menfreemenfree∣men
men;
FeareFear notnot thethe faceface ofof thethe enemyenemy, nornor thethe noisenoise ofof thethe
gunsguns: forfor beleeuebelieve meme brethrenbrethrenbrothers, thethe ruderude rumblingrumbling ofof aa Brew-BrewersBrew∣ersBrewer’sbrewer’s
ers
CarreCar isis farrefar moremore terribleterrible, ofof whichwhich youyou hauehave aa dailydaily
experienceexperience: NeitherNeither letlet thethe stinkestink ofof powderpowder offendoffend youyou,
sincesince aa moremore valiantvaliant stinkestink isis nightlynightly withwith youyou. ToTo aa resol-resoluedresol∣uedresolved
ued
mindemind, hishis homehome isis euery whereeverywhere: II speakespeak notnot thisthis
toto taketake awayaway thethe hopehope ofof youryour returnereturn; forfor youyou shallshall seesee
(II dodo notnot doubtdoubt itit) andand thatthat veryvery shortlyshortly, youryour louingloving wiueswives
againeagain, andand youryour sweetsweet childrenchildren, whosewhose carecare dothdoth bearebear youyou
companycompany inin basketsbaskets. RememberRemember thenthen whosewhose causecause youyou hauehave
inin handhand, andand likelike aa sortsort ofof true-bornetrueborn ScauingersScavengers, scourescour meme
thisthis famousfamous RealmeRealm ofof enemiesenemies. II hauehave nono moremore toto saysay butbut
thisthis: StandStand toto youryour tacklingstacklings ladslads, andand shewshow toto thethe worldworld youyou
cancan asas wellwell brandishbrandish aa swordsword, asas shakeshake anan apronapron. SaintSaint GeorgeGeorge
andand onon mymy heartshearts.OmnesOmnes. St.SaintSt. GeorgeGeorge, St.SaintSt. GeorgeGeorge.ExeuntExeunt
WifeWife.’Twas’Twas wellwell donedone RafeRafe, Il’eI’ll sendsend theethee aa coldcold CaponCapon aa
fieldfield, andand aa bottlebottle ofof March-beereMarch beerMarch-beer; andand itit maymay bebe, comecome my my selfemyself
selfe
toto seesee theethee.
Cit.CitizenCit.NellNell, thethe boyboy hashas deceiueddeceived meme muchmuch, II diddid notnot thinkethink
itit hadhad beenebeen inin himhim: hehe hashas performedperformed suchsuch aa mattermatter wenchwench,
thatthat ifif II liuelive, nextnext yeareyear Il’eI’ll hauehave himhim CaptaineCaptain ofof thethe Gally-Gally∣foistGalley-foist
foist,
oror Il’eI’ll wantwant mymy willwill.
EnterEnter oldold Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.YetYet II thankethank GodGod, II breakebreak notnot aa rinklewrinkle moremore thenthan
II hadhad, notnot aa stoopestoop boyceboysboyce: CareCare liuelive withwith CatsCats, II defiedefy theethee,
mymy heartheart isis asas soundsound asas anan OkeOak; andand thoughthough II wantwant drinkedrink

K

to

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

toto wetwet mymy whistlewhistle, II cancan singsing:
ComeCome nono moremore therethere boyesboys, comecome nono moremore therethere:
ForFor wewe shallshall neuernever whilstwhilst wewe liuelive, comecome anyany moremore therethere.
EnterEnter aa boyboy withwith aa CoffinCoffin.
BoyBoy.GodGod sauesave youyou sirsir.
Oldmer.Old merrythoughtOldmer.It’sIt’s aa brauebrave boyboy: canstcanst thouthou singsing?
BoyBoy.YesYes sirsir, II cancan singsing, butbut ’tis’tis notnot soso necessarynecessary atat thisthis
timetime.
OldOld merri.merrythoughtmerri.SingSing weewe, andand chauntchant itit, whilstwhilst louelove dothdoth
grantgrant itit.
BoyBoy.SirSir, sirsir, ifif youyou knewknew whatwhat II hauehave broughtbrought youyou, youyou
wouldwould hauehave littlelittle listlist toto singsing.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.OO thethe MimonMimon roundround, fullfull longlong longlong II hauehave theethee
soughtsought,
AndAnd nownow II hauehave theethee foundfound, &and whatwhat hasthast thouthou herehere broughtbrought?
BoyBoy.AA CoffinCoffin sirsir, andand youryour deaddead sonson IasperJasperjasper inin itit.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.DeadDead? whywhy fare-wellfarewell hehe:
ThouThou wastwast aa bonnybonny boyboy, andand II diddid louelove theethee.
EnterEnter IasperJasperjasper.
Iasp.JasperIasp.ThenThen II praypray youyou sirsir dodo soso stillstill.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.IaspersJasper’sjasper’s ghostghost? thouthou artart welcomewelcome fromfrom StygianStygian lakelake
 soso soonesoon,
DeclareDeclare toto meeme whatwhat wondrouswondrous thingsthings inin Pluto’sPluto’s courtcourt areare
 donedone.
Ias.JasperIas.ByBy mymy trothtroth sirsir, II nerene’er camecame therethere, tis’tis tootoo hothot forfor meme sirsir.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.AA merrymerry ghostghost, aa veryvery merrymerry ghostghost.
AndAnd wherewhere isis youryour true-louetrue lovetrue-Love? ôo wherewhere isis yoursyours?
Ias.JasperIas.MarieMarrymarry lookelook youyou sirsir.HeauesHeaves vpup thethe CoffinCoffin.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.AhAh haha! ArtArt thouthou goodgood atat thatthat IfaithI faithI’faithi’faith?
WithWith heyheyheigh trixietrixie terlery-whiskinterlery-whiskin, thethe worldworld itit runnesruns onon
 wheeleswheels,
WhenWhen thethe yongyoung mansman’s — vpup goesgoes thethe maidensmaiden’s heelesheels.
MistresseMistress Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, andand MichaelMichael withinwithin.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.WhatWhat Mr.MasterMr. Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, willwill youyou notnot let’slet’s inin?
whatwhat dodo youyou thinkethink shallshall becomebecome ofof vsus?
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.WhatWhat voycevoice isis thatthat thatthat callethcalleth atat ourour dooredoor?
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.YouYou knowknow meme wellwell enoughenough, II amam suresure II hauehave notnot

beene

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

beenebeen suchsuch aa strangerstranger toto youyou.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.AndAnd somesome theythey whistledwhistled, andand somesome theythey sungsung, HeyHeyHeigh
downedown, downedown: andand somesome diddid lowdlyloudly saysay, euerever asas thethe LordLord Bar-BarnetsBar∣netsBarnet’s
nets
hornehorn blewblew, awayaway MusgraueMusgrave, awayaway.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.YouYou willwill notnot hauehave vsus staruestarve herehere, willwill youyou Mr.MasterMr.
Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought?
Iasp.JasperIasp.NayNay goodgood sirsir bebe perswadedpersuaded, sheshe isis mymy mothermother: ifif herher
offencesoffences hauehave beenebeen greatgreat againstagainst youyou, letlet youryour owneown louelove
rememberremember sheshe isis yoursyours, andand soso forgiueforgive herher.
LuceLuceGoodGood Mr.MasterMr. Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought letlet meeme entreatentreat youyou, II willwill
notnot bebe denieddenied.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.WhyWhy Mr.MasterMr. Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, willwill youyou bebe aa vextvexed thingthing
 (stillstill?
Old.Old. mer.merrythoughtmer.WomanWoman II taketake youyou toto mymy louelove againeagain, butbut youyou
shallshall singsing beforebefore youyou enterenter: thereforetherefore dispatchdispatch youryour songsong,
andand soso comecome inin.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.WellWell, youyou mustmust hauehave youryour willwill whenwhen al’sall’s donedone.
MickeMick whatwhat songsong canstcanst thouthou singsing boyboy?
Mich.MichaelMich.II cancan singsing nonenone forsoothforsooth, butbut aa LadiesLady’s daughterdaughter ofof
ParisParis properlyproperly.
Mist.MistressMist. mer.merrythoughtmer.SongSong. ItIt waswas, aa LadiesLady’s daaghterdaughter, &c.etc.
Old.Old. mer.merrythoughtmer.ComeCome, you’ryou’re welcomewelcome homehome againeagain.
IfIf suchsuch dangerdanger bebe inin playingplaying, andand iestjest mustmust toto earnestearnest turneturn,
YouYou shallshall gogo nono moremore a Mayinga-Maying.
March.MerchantMarch. withinwithin.AreAre youyou withinwithin sirsir, MaisterMaster Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought?
Iasp.JasperIasp.ItIt isis mymy maistersmaster’s voycevoice, goodgood sirsir gogo holdhold himhim inin talketalk
whilstwhilst wewe conueyconvey our seluesourselves intointo somesome inwardinward roomeroom.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.WhatWhat areare youyou? areare youyou merrymerry? youyou mustmust beebe veryvery
merrymerry ifif youyou enterenter.
March.MerchantMarch.II amam sirsir.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.SingSing thenthen.
March.MerchantMarch.NayNay goodgood sirsir openopen toto meme.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.SingSing, II saysay, oror byby thethe merrymerry heartheart youyou comecome notnot inin.
March.MerchantMarch.WellWell sirsir, Il’eI’ll singsing.
FortuneFortune mymy FoeFeeFeeFoe, &c.etc.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.YouYou areare welcomewelcome sirsir, youyou areare welcomewelcome, youyou seesee
youryour entertainmententertainment, praypray youyou beebe merrymerry.
March.MerchantMarch.OO Mr.MasterMr. Merri-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, II amam comecome toto askeask youyou

K2

Forgiuenesse

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

ForgiuenesseForgiveness forfor thethe wrongswrongs II offeredoffered youyou,
AndAnd youryour mostmost vertuousvirtuous sonneson, they’rethey’re infiniteinfinite,
YetYet mymy contritioncontrition shallshall bebe moremore thenthan theythey.
II dodo confesseconfess mymy hardnessehardness brokebroke hishis heartheart,
ForFor whichwhich, iustjust heauenheaven hathhath giuengiven meme punishmentpunishment
MoreMore thenthan mymy ageage cancan carrycarry, hishis wandringwand’ring spiritspirit
NotNot yetyet atat restrest, pursuespursues meme euery whereeverywhere,
CryingCrying, I’leI’ll haunthaunt theethee forfor thythy crueltycruelty.
MyMy daughterdaughter sheshe isis gonegone, II knowknow notnot howhow,
TakenTaken inuisibleinvisible, andand whetherwhether liuingliving,
OrOr inin grauegrave, ’tis’tis yetyet vncertaineuncertain toto meme.
OO MaisterMaster Merry-thoughtMerrythoughtMerrithought, thesethese areare thethe weightsweights,
WillWill sinkesink meme toto mymy grauegrave, forgiueforgive meme sirsir.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.WhyWhy sirsir, II dodo forgiueforgive youyou, andand bebe merrymerry,
AndAnd ifif thethe wagwag, in’sin’s life timelifelifetimelife time time, plaidplayed thethe knaueknave,
CanCan youyou forgiueforgive himhim tootoo?Merch.MerchantMerch.WithWithallWith allall mymy heartheart sirsir.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.SpeakeSpeak itit againeagain, andand hartelyheartily.
Merch.MerchantMerch.II dodo sirsir,
NowNow byby mymy soulesoul II dodo.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.WithWith thatthat camecame outout hishis ParamoureParamour,
SheeShe waswas asas whitewhite asas thethe LillieLily flowerflower,
HeyHeyHeigh trouletroule trollietrollie lollietrollytrolly-lolly lollielolly.EnterEnter LuceLuce andand IasperJasperjasper.
WithWith thatthat camecame outout herher owneown deeredear KnightKnight,
HeHe waswas asas truetrue asas euerever diddid fightfight. &c.etc.
SirSir, ifif youyou willwill forgiueforgive ham’emham, clapclap theirtheir handshands togethertogether,
there’sthere’s nono moremore toto bebe sadsaidsad i’th’i’th’ mattermatter.
Merch.MerchantMerch.II dodo, II dodo.
Cit.CitizenCit.II dodo notnot likelike thisthis, peacepeace boiesboys, hearehear meme oneone ofof youyou,
euery bodieseverybody’s partpart isis comecome toto anan endend butbut RaphesRalph’s, andand hee’she’s
leftleft outout.
BoyBoy.’Tis’Tis longlong ofof your selfeyourself sirsir, weewe hauehave nothingnothing toto doedo
withwith hishis partpart.
Cit.CitizenCit.RaphRafeRaph comecome awayaway, makemake onon himhim asas youyou hauehave donedone ofof
thethe restrest, boiesboys comecome.
VVifeWife.NowNow goodgood husbandhusband letlet himhim comecome outout andand diedie.
Cit.CitizenCit.HeHe shallshall NelNell, RaphRafeRaph comecome awayaway quickelyquickly andand diedie boyboy.
BoyBoy.’Twill’Twill bebe veryvery vnfitunfit hehe shouldshould diedie sirsir, vponupon nono occa-occasionocca∣sionoccasion

sion,

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The Knight of the burning Pestle.

sion,
andand inin aa ComedyComedy tootoo.
Cit.CitizenCit.TakeTake youyou nono carecare ofof thatthat sirsir boyboy, isis notnot hishis partpart atat
anan endend, thinkethink youyou, whenwhen he’she’s deaddead? comecome awayaway RaphRafeRaph.
EnterEnter RaphRafeRaph, withwith aa forkedforked arrowarrow throughthrough hishis headhead.
Raph.RafeRaph.WhenWhen II waswas mortallmortal, thisthis mymy costiuecostive corpscorpse
DidDid laplap vpup FigsFigs andand RaisonsRaisinsraisins inin thethe StrandStrand,
WhereWhere sittingsitting II espi’despied aa louelylovely DameDame,
WhoseWhose MaisterMaster wroughtwrought withwith LingellLingelLingell andand withwith AllAwlAll,
AndAnd vnder groundvnderundergroundunder ground ground hehe vampiedvampied manymany aa booteboot,
StraightStraight diddid herher louelove prickeprick forthforth meme, tendertender sprigsprig
ToTo followfollow featsfeats ofof ArmesArms inin warlikewarlike wisewise,
ThroughThrough VValthamWaltham DesertDesert, wherewhere II diddid performeperform
ManyMany atchieuementsachievements, andand diddid laylay onon groundground
HugeHuge BarbarosoBarbaroso thatthat insultinginsulting GiantGiant,
AndAnd allall hishis CaptiuesCaptives soonesoon setset atat libertyliberty.
ThenThen honourhonour pricktpricked meme fromfrom mymy natiuenative soilesoil,
IntoInto MoldauiaMeldauiaMoldaviaMeldavia, wherewhere II gain’dgained thethe louelove
OfOf PompianaPompiana hishis belouedbeloved daughterdaughter:
ButBut yetyet prou’dproved constantconstant toto thethe blackeblack thum’dthumbedthumed maidemaid
SusanSusan, andand skorn’dscorned PompianaesPompiana’s louelove:
YetYet liberallliberal II waswas andand gauegave herher pinnespins,
AndAnd moneymoney forfor herher fathersfather’s OfficersOfficers.
II thenthen returnedreturned homehome, andand thrustthrust my selfemyself
InIn actionaction, andand byby allall menmen chosenchosen waswas
LordLord ofof thethe MayMay, wherewhere II diddid flourishflourish itit,
WithWith SkarfesScarvesscarves andand RingsRings, andand PosiePosy inin mymy handhand,
AfterAfter thisthis actionaction, II preferredpreferred waswas,
AndAnd chosenchosen CittyCity CaptaineCaptain atat Mile-endMile endMile-end,
WithWith hathat andand featherfeather andand withwith leadingleading staffestaff,
AndAnd train’dtrained mymy menmen andand broughtbrought themthem allall offoff cleereclear,
SaueSave oneone manman thatthat berai’dbewrayed himhim withwith thethe noisenoise.
ButBut allall thesethese thingsthings II RaphRafeRaph diddid vndertakeundertake,
OnelyOnly forfor mymy belouedbeloved SusansSusan’s sakesake.
ThenThen commingcoming homehome, andand sittingsitting inin mymy ShopShop
WithWith ApronApron blewblue, deathdeath camecame vntounto mymy StallStall
ToTo cheapencheapen Aqua-vitaeAquavitae, butbut ereere II
CouldCould taketake thethe bottlebottle downedown, andand fillfill aa tastetaste,

K3

Death

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The Knight of the burning Pestle

DeathDeath caughtcaught aa poundpound ofof PepperPepper inin hishis handhand,
AndAnd sprinkledsprinkled allall mymy faceface andand bodybody oreo’er,
AndAnd inin anan instantinstant vanishedvanished awayaway.
Cit.CitizenCit.’Tis’Tis aa prettypretty fictionfiction i’faithi’faith.
Raph.RafeRaph.ThenThen tooketook II vpup mymy BowBow andand ShaftShaft inin handhand,
AndAnd walktwalked intointo Moore-fieldsMoorfields toto coolecool my selfemyself,
ButBut therethere grimgrim cruellcruel deathdeath metmet meme againeagain,
AndAnd shotshot thisthis forkedforked arrowarrow throughthrough mymy headhead,
AndAnd nownow II faintfaint, thereforetherefore bebe warn’dwarned byby meme,
MyMy fellowesfellows eueryevery oneone ofof forkedforked headsheads.
Fare-wellFarewell allall youyou goodgood boiesboys inin merrymerry LondonLondon,
NereNe’erne’er shallshall wewe moremore vponupon Shroue-tuesdayShrove tuesdayShrove-tuesday meetemeet
AndAnd pluckepluck downedown houseshouses ofof iniquitieiniquity.
MyMy painepain increasethincreaseth, II shallshall neuernever moremore
HoldHold openopen, whilstwhilst anotheranother pumpespumps bothboth legslegs,
NorNor daubedaub aa SattenSatin gownegown withwith rottenrotten egseggs:
SetSet vpup aa stakestake, ôo neuernever moremore II shallshall,
II diedie, fliefly, fliefly mymy soulesoul toto GrocersGrocer’sgrocer’s HallHall. ohoho, ohoho, ohoho, &c.etc.
WifeWife.WellWell saidsaid RaphRafeRaph, doedo youryour obeysanceobeisance toto thethe Gentle-GentlemenGentle∣menGentlemen
men
andand gogo youryour waiesways, wellwell saidsaid RaphRafeRaph.
ExitExit Raph.RafeRaph.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.Me thinkesMethinksmethinks allall wewe, thusthus kindlykindly andand vnexpectedlyunexpectedly
reconciledreconciled shouldshould notnot departdepart withoutwithout aa songsong.
Merch.MerchantMerch.AA goodgood motionmotion.
OldOld mer.merrythoughtmer.StrikeStrike vpup thenthen.
SongSong.
BetterBetter MusickeMusic nerene’er waswas knowneknown,
ThenThan aa quirechoir ofof heartshearts inin oneone.
LetLet eacheach otherother thatthat hathhath beenebeen,
TroubledTroubled withwith thethe gallgall oror spleenespleen:
LearneLearn ofof vsus toto keepekeep hishis browbrow,
SmothSmooth andand plaineplain asas oursours areare nownow.
SingSing thoughthough beforebefore thethe hourehour ofof dyingdying
HeHe shallshall riserise andand thenthen bebe cryingcrying.
HeyHey hoho, ’tis’tis noughtnaught butbut mirthmirth.
ThatThat keepeskeeps thethe bodybody fromfrom thethe earthearth.
ExeuntExeunt OmnesOmnes.

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EpilogusEpilogus.

Cittiz.CitizenCittiz.ComeCome NelNell, shallshall wewe gogo, thethe PlaiesPlay’sPlays donedone.
VVifeWife.NayNay byby mymy faithfaith GeorgeGeorge, II hauehave moremore mannersmanners thenthan
soso, I’leI’ll speakespeak toto thesethese GentlemenGentlemen firstfirst: II thankethank youyou allall
GentlemenGentlemen, forfor youryour patiencepatience andand countenanecountenancecountenanecountenance toto RaphRafeRaph, aa
poorepoor fatherlessefatherless childchild, andand ifif II mightmight seesee youyou atat mymy househouse, itit
shouldshould gogo hardhard, butbut II wouldwould hauehave aa pottlepottle ofof winewine andand aa pipepipe
ofof TobaccoTobacco forfor youyou, forfor truelytruly II hopehope youyou dodo likelike thethe youthyouth,
butbut II wouldwould beebe gladglad toto knowknow thethe truthtruth: II referrerefer itit toto youryour
owneown discretionsdiscretions, whetherwhether youyou willwill applaudapplaud himhim oror nono, forfor
II willwill winkewink, andand whilstwhilst youyou shallshall dodo whatwhat youyou willwill, II thankethank
youyou withwith allall mymy heartheart, GodGod giuegive youyou goodgood nightnight; comecome
GeorgeGeorge.


FINISFINIS.

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1. (3-a) : The regularized reading combine is amended from the original conbine.
2. (4-b) : The regularized reading children is amended from the original chlidren.
3. (7-a) : The regularized reading shoot is amended from the original sute.
4. (7-b) : Potential alternate reading: remove 'I'.
5. (8-a) : The regularized reading Dwarfs is amended from the original Dwarses.
6. (8-a) : The regularized reading mirror is amended from the original mirrout.
7. (9-a) : The regularized reading you is amended from the original your.
8. (9-a) : The regularized reading you is amended from the original your.
9. (9-a) : The regularized reading Whoreson is amended from the original Whoresome.
10. (11-a) : The regularized reading no is amended from the original now.
11. (14-b) : The regularized reading Things comes from the original Things, though possible variants include Thing.
12. (15-b) : 'thou' is duplicated. It has been struck-through in the text.
13. (16-b) : The regularized reading Tapstero is amended from the original Tastero.
14. (17-b) : The regularized reading Waltham is supplied for the original Wa[····]m.
15. (17-b) : The regularized reading truly is amended from the original tuely.
16. (17-b) : The regularized reading catch is amended from the original cath.
17. (17-b) : The regularized reading Godfrey is amended from the original Godfrry.
18. (19-a) : The regularized reading these comes from the original these, though possible variants include this.
19. (20-a) : The regularized reading after-love is amended from the original ater-loue.
20. (20-a) : The regularized reading swim is amended from the original swin.
21. (20-a) : The regularized reading Gentlewoman is amended from the original Gntlewoman.
22. (21-a) : Some editions remove 'truery'.
23. (21-a) : 'faire' is duplicated.
24. (21-a) : The regularized reading from is amended from the original ftom.
25. (22-a) : The regularized reading brings is amended from the original bings.
26. (22-b) : The regularized reading swoops is amended from the original soopes.
27. (22-b) : The regularized reading Dutchman is amended from the original Ducth-man.
28. (26-a) : The regularized reading be is amended from the original he.
29. (32-a) : The regularized reading Servingman is amended from the original Seruigman.
30. (32-b) : Ambiguous stage direction: these words are preceded by a lacuna. It is ambiguous whether this is a stage direction or part of Old Merrythought’s speech.
31. (33-a) : The regularized reading Hogsdon comes from the original Hogsdon, though possible variants include Hoxton.
32. (34-b) : The regularized reading Aldgate is amended from the original Algate.
33. (37-a) : The regularized reading ham is amended from the original ’em.
34. (38-b) : The regularized reading countenance is amended from the original countenane.